Shadowrun
Shadowrun Play => Character creation and critique => Topic started by: willrunforfun on <09-30-11/1820:42>
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Ok so this is only the second character I've ever made and the only one I've ever posted so take that into consideration as you tear it apart. I'll take all ideas in stride and look forward to some improvements to my build. Let me know if you have any questions or ideas and thank you ahead of time.
== Info ==
Street Name: Eliasar
Name: Elessar Arnatuilë
Karma: 0
Street Cred: 0
Notoriety: 0
Public Awareness: 0
Elf Male Age 129
Height 2m/6.5ft Weight 79kg/174lbs
Composure: 7
Judge Intentions: 8
Lift/Carry: 8 (45 kg/30 kg)
Memory: 7
Nuyen: 0
== Attributes ==
BOD: 5
AGI: 5
REA: 3
STR: 3
CHA: 4
INT: 4
LOG: 4
WIL: 3
EDG: 2
== Derived Attributes ==
Essence: 6
Initiative: 7
IP: 1
Matrix Initiative: 6
Matrix IP: 1
Physical Damage Track: 11
Stun Damage Track: 10
== Active Skills ==
Animal Handling : 2 Pool: 6
Animal Training : 1 Pool: 5
Archery : 5 [Bows] Pool: 10 (12)
Armorer : 0 Pool: 3
Artisan : 0 Pool: 3
Automatics : 0 Pool: 4
Blades : 4 Pool: 9
Climbing : 4 Pool: 7
Clubs : 4 Pool: 9
Computer : 0 Pool: 3
Con : 0 Pool: 3
Cybercombat : 0 Pool: 3
Data Search : 0 Pool: 3
Demolitions : 0 Pool: 3
Disguise : 4 Pool: 8
Diving : 0 Pool: 4
Dodge : 5 Pool: 8
Escape Artist : 0 Pool: 4
Etiquette : 4 Pool: 8
Exotic Ranged Weapon : 4 [blow gun] Pool: 9
First Aid : 4 Pool: 8
Flight : 4 Pool: 7
Forgery : 0 Pool: 4
Gunnery : 3 Pool: 8
Gymnastics : 4 Pool: 9
Hacking : 0 Pool: 3
Heavy Weapons : 0 Pool: 4
Infiltration : 4 Pool: 9
Instruction : 0 Pool: 3
Intimidation : 0 Pool: 3
Leadership : 4 Pool: 8
Locksmith : 0 Pool: 4
Longarms : 0 Pool: 4
Navigation : 4 [Forest] Pool: 8 (10)
Negotiation : 4 Pool: 8
Palming : 4 Pool: 9
Parachuting : 0 Pool: 4
Perception : 0 Pool: 3
Pilot Ground Craft : 0 Pool: 2
Pilot Watercraft : 0 Pool: 2
Pistols : 0 Pool: 4
Riding : 0 Pool: 2
Running : 4 Pool: 7
Shadowing : 4 Pool: 8
Survival : 4 [Forest] Pool: 7 (9)
Swimming : 4 Pool: 7
Throwing Weapons : 4 Pool: 9
Tracking : 4 Pool: 8
Unarmed Combat : 4 [Subdual Combat] Pool: 9 (11)
== Knowledge Skills ==
Combat Tactics : 5 Pool: 9
English : N Pool: 0
Japanese : 3 Pool: 7
Military : 5 Pool: 9
== Contacts ==
Elven Peace Force friend (3, 4)
Local Shaman (3, 3)
== Qualities ==
Bilingual
Cursed (Rating 2)
Guts
Lost Loved One (4)
Low-Light Vision
Pacifist (Minor)
Wanted
== Armor ==
Form-Fitting Full-Body Suit6/2
Victory: Globetrotter Fatigues3/0
== Weapons ==
Blowgun
DV: 0 AP: - RC: 0
Bow (Rating 6)
DV: 5P AP: - RC: 0
Remington 750
+Imaging Scope
+Sling
+Chameleon Coating
DV: 7P AP: -1 RC: 0
Survival Knife
DV: 3P AP: -1 RC: 0
Throwing Knife
DV: 3P AP: - RC: 0
Tomahawk
DV: 4P AP: - RC: 0
Unarmed Attack
DV: 2S AP: - RC: 0
== Commlink ==
Sony Emperor (2, 0, 0, 3)
== Gear ==
Ammo: Arrow (Bows) Rating 3 x25
Ammo: Arrow, Barbed (Bows) x15
Ammo: Arrow, Explosive (Bows) x5
Ammo: Arrow, Incendiary (Bows) x5
Ammo: Regular Ammo (Sports Rifles) x50
Backpack
Camouflage Netting
Emergency Field Dressing
Gas Mask
Rations
Sleeping Bag
Stealth Rope (100 m)
Tent
Throwing: Throwing Knife x20
Water Purification Tablet
Wire Clippers
== Description ==
Elessar relies mainly on his previous military and security skills to survive in the rural area of the SSC. His main weapons are his longbow and his tomahawk, however he is quite proficient with his hunting rifle and his throwing knives. His combat abilities are only topped by his skills in outdoorsmanship and survival. He usually sticks to his mainly vegetarian diet but will ocassionally hunt animals for food.
== Background ==
Elessar grew up in Tir Tairngire and served many years in the peace force special forces (Ghosts). At a young age (for elves) he married his wife Alatariel and soon after had a daughter, Gilraen. In his youthful angst he decided to leave Tir Tairngire and join the Knights Errant. To his dismay the Ghosts stripped him of his belongings and cursed him to never be able to use magic again. His new job brought him to Chigaco, where he guarded transports carrying weapons to those assaulting the infesting bug spirits. Things took a turn for the worse when Ares Macrotechnology, his employer, bombed the city, killing his wife and daughter. This catastrophic event lead him to becomming enraged and leaving the company. After learning of Knights Errant's recent take over of Seattle from Lone Star he decided to return to his home in Tir Tairngire. After being refused by the Peace Force for their help he decided to gather his things and move out into a more rural part of the SSC.
== Notes ==
-family killed in chicago (bug city) by nuke from Ares
-goes to shaman for help with nightmares
-originally in peace force of tir... then joined knights errant for money
-quit ke after bombing (holds grudge)
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"Elves of the world - Unite!
- Chuck-Chuck Razool <19:02:34/11-17-50>"
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Um you have no Ranks in Long Arms for your rifle.
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You have enough body you might want a Chameleon suit rather then your current armor options. With only 1 IP, you are rather vulnerable in combat to people that can react and strike more quickly then you, so you may want to think about reimagineing the character as an adept, adding some cyberware or maybe just keeping a modest stash of drugs on hand. (Cram is cheap) if you really don't want magic or cybernetics, you should consider at least the Lightning Reflexes perk. Reaction is a big part of how characters defend themselves, having it at 3 with no augmentation leaves you vulnerable.
You'd lose your specalites, but could save a good amount of points by taking the Outdoors skill group rather then getting all skills separately. You can cheaply buy the specalities once the game starts.
Your comlink needs an OS to work, just any will do.
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I'd probably push your Archery to 6, and drop your Dodge to 4. And add a smartlink to the mix, as well.
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With both gymnastics and several close combat skills at 4, having a dodge skill at all is redundant. How many points is this character built with? Because he adds up to a lot, with five skill groups rated at 4 and some other skills. For all that, he is still fairly low-powered, with most dice pools in the 8-10 range.
He is versatile, but playing a mundane, unaugmented character is like playing a guy without superpowers in a superhero game - it's definitely a challenge. Yes, Shadowrun is a very tactical game, but a mundane character has to rely on tactics all the time, while an augmented character can relax and let his superhuman abilities bail him out of trouble every now and then.
How do you envision the Cursed negative quality working for this guy? It is for awakened characters, and makes them likelier to glitch when using their magical abilities. Now, I have no trouble with this guy being formerly awakened as part of his backstory, but a flaw still needs to be a flaw. Do you envision it as similar to spirit bane, with hostile magic and weird phenomena seeking this character out? If that's the case, I would consider it a viable flaw.
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The character is made with a 750 karma build, as opposed to using 400 bp. Its possible that I might have accidentally gone over the limit. The GM said dice pools at 12 max so I suppose I could switch some skills around to give him more of a specialty.
I originally thought of making him augmented since he is an ex Ghost, which I still may do. I shall shift a few more karma into his nuyen and see what I can come up with there.
As far as the Cursed quality is concerned you are quite correct in the statement about him being basically assaulted by spirits. After he left Tir Tairngire his fellow Ghosts made sure that no spirit would ever aid him. Any other suggestions?
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Karmagen very much rewards you for going augmented or magical, much more so than BP-gen. The reason is that augmentations avoid the scaling price. 4 karma will always get you a Reflex Recorder for +1 to a skill, but the last point would otherwise cost you 12 karma. Likewise, 7 karma will get you +2 agility - but buying agility from 4 to 6 would cost you a whopping 55 karma!
If your GM is using 12 max dicepools and karmagen he probably wants generalists. The way to be a good generalist is to be an augmented mundane and focus on things that don't have scaling costs and boost a lot of things at once - like Tailored Pheremones, Synthacardium, stat-boosting bioware, etc.
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Yeah, UmaroVI is right, in that augmentations and magic both give bonuses that are much, much cheaper than buying up the skills the "hard" way. But your dice pools aren't as weak as I thought, if your GM is capping starting dice pools at 12. I would still personally recommend some initiative enhancement, though.
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Went ahead and adjusted for a few of the suggestions made. Let me know what you think now
== Info ==
Street Name: Eliasar
Name: Elessar Arnatuilë
Karma: 0
Street Cred: 0
Notoriety: 0
Public Awareness: 0
Elf Male Age 49
Height 2m/6.5ft Weight 79kg/174lbs
Composure: 7
Judge Intentions: 8
Lift/Carry: 6 (45 kg/30 kg)
Memory: 7
Nuyen: 0
== Attributes ==
BOD: 4 (3)
AGI: 4 (2)
REA: 4 (3)
STR: 3
CHA: 4
INT: 4
LOG: 4
WIL: 3
EDG: 2
== Derived Attributes ==
Essence: 3.25
Initiative: 8 (7)
IP: 1
Matrix Initiative: 6
Matrix IP: 1
Physical Damage Track: 12
Stun Damage Track: 10
== Active Skills ==
Animal Handling : 2 Pool: 6
Animal Training : 1 Pool: 5
Archery : 5 [Bows] Pool: 7 (9)
Armorer : 0 Pool: 3
Artisan : 0 Pool: 3
Automatics : 0 Pool: 1
Blades : 4 Pool: 6
Climbing : 4 Pool: 9
Clubs : 4 Pool: 6
Computer : 0 Pool: 3
Con : 0 Pool: 3
Cybercombat : 0 Pool: 3
Data Search : 0 Pool: 3
Demolitions : 0 Pool: 3
Disguise : 3 Pool: 7
Diving : 0 Pool: 2
Dodge : 2 Pool: 5
Escape Artist : 0 Pool: 1
Etiquette : 4 Pool: 10
Exotic Ranged Weapon : 4 [blow gun] Pool: 6
First Aid : 4 Pool: 8
Flight : 4 Pool: 9
Forgery : 0 Pool: 1
Gunnery : 3 Pool: 5
Gymnastics : 4 Pool: 8
Hacking : 0 Pool: 3
Heavy Weapons : 0 Pool: 1
Infiltration : 3 Pool: 5
Instruction : 0 Pool: 3
Intimidation : 0 Pool: 3
Leadership : 4 Pool: 10
Locksmith : 0 Pool: 1
Longarms : 3 Pool: 5
Navigation : 4 [Forest] Pool: 8 (10)
Negotiation : 4 Pool: 10
Palming : 3 Pool: 5
Parachuting : 0 Pool: 2
Perception : 0 Pool: 3
Pilot Ground Craft : 0 Pool: 2
Pilot Watercraft : 0 Pool: 2
Pistols : 0 Pool: 1
Riding : 0 Pool: 2
Running : 4 Pool: 9
Shadowing : 3 Pool: 7
Survival : 4 [Forest] Pool: 7 (9)
Swimming : 4 Pool: 9
Throwing Weapons : 4 Pool: 6
Tracking : 4 Pool: 8
Unarmed Combat : 4 Pool: 6
== Knowledge Skills ==
Area Knowledge: Chicago : 4 Pool: 8
Combat Tactics : 5 Pool: 9
English : N Pool: 0
Firearms : 2 Pool: 6
Military : 5 Pool: 9
Security Companies : 4 Pool: 8
Security Tactics : 4 Pool: 8
== Contacts ==
Elven Peace Force friend (3, 4)
Local Shaman (3, 3)
== Qualities ==
Cursed (Rating 2)
Guts
Lightning Reflexes
Low-Light Vision
Pacifist (Minor)
Prejudiced (Specific, Outspoken) (1)
Wanted
== Cyberware/Bioware ==
Internal Air Tank
Muscle Toner Rating 1
Symbiotes Rating 1
Synthacardium Rating 2
Synthetic Full Arm (BOD 3, AGI 3, STR 5) (Left)
+Enhanced Strength Rating 2
+Armor Rating 1
Synthetic Full Leg (BOD 3, AGI 5, STR 3) (Left)
+Enhanced Agility Rating 2
+Armor Rating 1
Tailored Pheromones Rating 2
== Armor ==
Camouflage Suit 8/6
Victory: Globetrotter Fatigues3/0
== Weapons ==
Blowgun
DV: 0 AP: - RC: 0
Bow (Rating 6)
DV: 5P AP: - RC: 0
Remington 750
+Imaging Scope
+Sling
DV: 7P AP: -1 RC: 0
Survival Knife
DV: 3P AP: -1 RC: 0
Throwing Knife
DV: 3P AP: - RC: 0
Tomahawk
DV: 4P AP: - RC: 0
Unarmed Attack
DV: 2S AP: - RC: 0
== Commlink ==
Sony Emperor (2, 0, 0, 3)
== Gear ==
Ammo: Arrow (Bows) Rating 3 x25
Ammo: Arrow, Barbed (Bows) x15
Ammo: Arrow, Explosive (Bows) x5
Ammo: Arrow, Incendiary (Bows) x5
Ammo: Regular Ammo (Sports Rifles) x50
Backpack
Camouflage Netting
Docwagon Contract: Basic
Emergency Field Dressing
Fake SIN (3) Rating 3
Gas Mask
Rations
Sleeping Bag
Stealth Rope (100 m)
Tent
Throwing: Throwing Knife x20
Water Purification Tablet
Wire Clippers
== Description ==
Elessar relies mainly on his previous military and security skills to survive in the rural area of the SSC. His main weapons are his longbow and his tomahawk, however he is quite proficient with his hunting rifle and his throwing knives. His combat abilities are only topped by his skills in outdoorsmanship and survival. He usually sticks to his mainly vegetarian diet but will ocassionally hunt animals for food.
== Background ==
Elessar grew up in Tir Tairngire and served many years in the peace force special forces (Ghosts). At a young age (for elves) he married his wife Alatariel and soon after had a daughter, Gilraen. In his youthful angst he decided to leave Tir Tairngire and join the Knights Errant. To his dismay the Ghosts stripped him of his belongings and cursed him to never be able to use magic again. His new job brought him to Chigaco, where he guarded transports carrying weapons to those assaulting the infesting bug spirits. Things took a turn for the worse when Ares Macrotechnology, his employer, bombed the city, killing his wife and daughter. This catastrophic event lead him to becomming enraged and leaving the company. After learning of Knights Errant's recent take over of Seattle from Lone Star he decided to return to his home in Tir Tairngire. After being refused by the Peace Force for their help he decided to gather his things and move out into a more rural part of the SSC.
== Notes ==
-family killed in chicago (bug city) by nuke from Ares
-goes to shaman for help with nightmares
-originally in peace force of tir... then joined knights errant for money
-quit ke after bombing (holds grudge)
-prejudice against Ares
-Wanted by ke for abandonment
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Strength min looks too high? Rating 6 Bow would need more Strength than 3, yes?
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I think he's relying on the augmented Strength (which I'm guessing is supposed to be 7) in his single cyberarm. He'd still need both arms to be appropriately enhanced to gain their benefit with a bow, however. So I don't know what's going on there unless he's only using a bow with Strength 5 requirements. Or do bow ratings work in reverse? It's been so long since I've read up on them.
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Not (especially) meaning to offend, but I'm not completely sure that you'd be taken seriously with the Tolkien names. Yes, I know they sound cool, but ...
As for the rest -- IMNSHO, the background doesn't jive with the skill set. From SR4a, your baseline Tir Ghost:
Tir Ghosts (Professional Rating 6)
There’s a reason the special forces of the elven nation of Tir Tairngire
are called Ghosts: they are the masters of covert operations and have
broken into some of the most secure areas on the planet undetected.
Most of the time their targets won’t know what hit them until it’s too
late, but in a fair fight they aren’t always that much better than most
augmented combat veterans.
| B | A | R | S | C | I | L | W | Ess | Init | IP |
| 4 | 6 (8) | 5 (7) | 4 (6) | 5 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 3.90 | 11 (13) | 3 |
Condition Monitor Boxes: 11
Skills: Athletics Skill group 4 (7), Demolitions 4, Dodge 4,
Firearms Skill group 5, Perception 4, Stealth Skill group 6,
Close Combat Skill group 4
Augmentations: Muscle Augmentation and Toner (Rating 2),
Synthacardium (Rating 3), Synaptic Boosters (Rating 2)
Gear: Full Body Armor, Grapple Gun, HK 227-X, Contact lenses
[w/ Flare Compensation, Smartlink], Smoke Grenades (2),
Thermographic Smoke Grenades (2), Commlink (Device
Rating 5)
Notes: Tir Ghosts are all elves and have the racial Low-Light
Vision ability.
Ignoring the name and the differences in gear, his skills just don't back the story up. To keep the skills and the name flavor, I personally would make him a member of the Sinsearach 'pinkskin' tribe of elves in the Salish-Sidhe. They tend more to the Tolkienesque flavor, and the whole shamanic/tribal/living in harmony with the earth thing...