Shadowrun
Shadowrun Play => Character creation and critique => Topic started by: Hermes on <06-11-12/1331:06>
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These characters are important. These are the main and impact characters in my story. The Main Character presents a certain view, while the Impact character presents a challenging view. This is based on the Dramatica story mind theory, presented in this comic (http://storymind.com/free-downloads/dramaticomic.pdf).
I'd like to ask you to be brutal. The first is the Impact Character, she's probably the less controversial of the two.
SAREÄRWEN
Street Name: Swims-with-Dolphins
Female Elf Shaman (30 bp)
Attributes: (240 bp)
B 3, A 5, R 2, S 2, C 5, I 5, L 3, W 5, E 1
Essence: 6
Magic: 5
Initiative: 7
Initiative Passes: 1
Qualities: (+5 bp)
PQ: Magician (15), Mentor Spirit (Sea) (5)
NQ: Day Job (+10), Gremlins (+5), Pacifist (+5), Sensitive System (+15)
SKILLS: (80 BP)
ACTIVE SKILLS:
Assensing 2
Astral Combat 4
Banishing 2
Counterspelling 3
Etiquette 2
Instruction 2
Pistols 2
Spellcasting 4
Summoning (Spirits of Water +2): 2
KNOWLEDGE SKILLS (24 knowledge Skill Points free):
Elven Wines: 2
Magic Theory: 4
Marine Biology: 3
Mythology: 3
Romantic Sims: 3
Shamanism: 4
Language Skills:
English 5
Sperethiel N
SPELLS: (30 bp)
Analyze Truth
Clairvoyance
Clout
Detect Magic
Fashion
Heal
Increase Reflexes
Orgy
Stunbolt
Water Wall
GEAR AND LIFESTYLE: (20 BP into Nuyen)
Credit Account (17,298¥); Detection Fetish; Fake SIN (Rating 6); Illusion Fetish; Leather Jacket; Natural Silk AR Enhanced Evening Gown from Brillance; Natural Denim jeans from Bodyline; Natural Cotton AR Enhanced dress from Lyric of Portland; AR enhanced short shorts from Tropicaliente; Natural Fiber AR Enhanced T-shirt from Tropicaliente; 2 pairs of Athletic shoes from Furba; 1 pair of Leather rugged sandals from Bodyline; Dress low heals from Brilliance; Magical Lodge materials (Rating 6); Spellcasting Focus (Rating 5); Survival kit; High Lifestyle (2 months prepaid)
MATRIX GEAR:
Renaku Sensei [w/ Renaku Ichi OS, AR Gloves, a sim module, and Satellite Link];
Matrix programs [Analyze 2, Browse 3, Command 1, Edit 2]; 10 sim recordings of good Romantic Sims
WEAPONS:
Colt America L36 [/w 200 gel rounds of ammunition]
CONTACTS:
Antiquities and Oddities Dealer (C 3/L 2)
Talismonger (C 2/L 2)
NOTES:
Low-light Vision
Shaman Tradition -- DRAIN: Willpower + Charisma
Name means "Sea Stone Girl" in Sperethiel
QUOTES:
"Elen sila lumenn omentilmo"
A star shall shine on the hour of our meeting.
"Aa' i'sul nora lanne'lle."
May the wind fill your sails.
"Amin khiluva lle a' gurtha ar' thar!"
I will follow you to death and beyond!
"Auta miqula orqu!"
Go kiss an ork! (obviously an insult)
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Just a thought....she seems to be relatively urbanized. Having her be an eco-terrorist seems kind of harsh for someone who is so high in the public eye. Could totally see her running and using those resources to start up charity clean-ups, shaman groups to 'clean up' the earth through magic, or find Toxic Shamans who are polluting the earth and use her resources to stop them. I think what most Shadowrunners get is that, on a grand scale, we are fleas. Make a different in the best way possible. Being a very visible public figure that's motivations for running the streets isn't to survive and make nuyen, but to act as a quasi-eco-terrorist by striking Megacorps...well, good-luck.
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Yeah, you're right. I'll have to rethink her a bit . . .
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I am not too good at this, but I do suggest you take up something physical in case you come up against something that is robotic. Another suggestion would be to grab a spell to effect a group. You could probably drop orgy for one of those, and maybe waterwall or something like it for the other. Just an idea, though I tend to play more combat focused characters, so that kind of what I think of first mechanically. I also think that having pistols at 2 is kind of a waste. with BP it seems more of a "go big or go home" kind of thing. Besides, what would you need a 2 in pistols for anyway?
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Good suggestion.
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Paladins don't work 'Tir Security'. You'd be wanting the Tir Peace Force for that.
Also, understand that being a 'soul coach' and public speaker in even-more-highly-LDS-than-real-life Salt Lake Valley is probably (99.98% chance) going to mean the ruin of Ms. Sweetness-and-Light-Beastiality's career. Perhaps you might want to move to somewhere more receptive - southern Salish-Sidhe, in the Sinsearach territory, perhaps. Or the Olympic peninsula. Bug City, perhaps ...
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Or, alternately, character write-ups could ignore how they're all nudists or delphinophiles, and stick to the in-game numbers and stuff that folks expect to find in the character creation section of a gaming forum. Seriously, dude, we don't need to know the chick bangs dolphins in order to give suggestions about how her Shadowrun stats stack up...and if she's "probably the less controversial of the two," I really don't want to know what your other "impact" character is into having sex with.
I'm not a mod. I'm not reporting this to mods. I'm not seeking direct mod action. But personally, speaking only for myself as a gamer, and someone who writes for games, I think this is exactly the sort of fetishized weirdness the hobby doesn't need, particularly on a game's official site, in a section primarily browsed by folks cruising for rules/character creation info.
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Okay, fine.
Are you happy now?
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Not really.
Background is good; background is great. Background explains why a character who's practically a bum has a knowledge skill in Fine Liqueurs. 'Soul guide', great, 'passing well-known in Tir Tairngire', wonderful, 'studies dolphins professional', fantastic. Her sexual proclivities are something that I, like Critias, don't think we need to know. Feel free to write it into your fiction; Pananagutan has been running the edge of a little risqué, I know. But remember that this is not a fetishism site, this is (I think) a PG, maybe PG-13 site at worst.
Getting past that, though, even without the 'I **** Dolphins' thing, a shamanistic 'soul coach' just isn't going to survive in the Salt Lake Valley. The Saints already have designated 'soul coaches' - they're called the Ward Bishopric. (I personally dislike how previous authors kneecapped magic in SLC; if I ever get a chance to do a rewrite, it isn't going to be 'negative', it's just all going to be Aspected towards Church magic.) I honestly think that within three months, she'd either have converted to the Church or else moved out - if only because I really doubt that the citizens wouldn't be flocking to hear her shamanic message.
"I'll go ask 'im, but I don't think 'ee'll be too keen; we've already got one, y'see."
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Just my opinion, this...
I'd like to ask you to be brutal. The first is the Impact Character, she's probably the less controversial of the two.
plus this....
Okay, fine.
Are you happy now?
...is not cool. Requesting folks to be "brutal" and then throwing a huff when they are brutal is annoying, to me at the very least.
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I don't have a problem with the zoophile aspect. Shadowrun is full of kink and freak. This is just another manifestation of it. To pretend that Shadowrun is a PG-13 game with the topic matter that it covers, heh....that would take some spin.
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I don't have a problem with the zoophile aspect. Shadowrun is full of kink and freak. This is just another manifestation of it. To pretend that Shadowrun is a PG-13 game with the topic matter that it covers, heh....that would take some spin.
A game - well, most of them - is rated by the table, not by the book. Can Shadowrun cover some pretty taboo subjects? Hell, yes. Should your game? That's up to GM and players. Note, however, that I didn't say the game - I said the site.
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This thread is worthless without pictures [of dolphin fucking].
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This thread is worthless without pictures [of dolphin fucking].
You just got some applause :-)
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This thread is worthless without pictures [of dolphin fucking].
You just got some applause :-)
Also, polite Dolphin society refers to it as occupying the blow-hole.
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I still want to write up a run featuring a prominent metahuman (preferably something pretty like human or elf) needing runner assistance with his/her AI, free spirit, or Sapient Critter significant other. Just because I want to play out the media reactions once the secret is out (and watch my players split into "aww that's sweet" and "this guy's a freak" camps).
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I still want to write up a run featuring a prominent metahuman (preferably something pretty like human or elf) needing runner assistance with his/her AI, free spirit, or Sapient Critter significant other. Just because I want to play out the media reactions once the secret is out (and watch my players split into "aww that's sweet" and "this guy's a freak" camps).
I don't know if they were "prominent" or not, but there's a canon run that deals with just that. A college kid runs away from home to go be in his gay relationship with a spirit, and the family hires the 'runners (thinking the kid's just missing).
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Awesome. I'll look it up
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...is not cool. Requesting folks to be "brutal" and then throwing a huff when they are brutal is annoying, to me at the very least.
Well, Critias has had his way.
I deleted the background for the character simply because his post is a take down notice. Eccentric old maid (http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3191923,00.html)s aside, I was angry because if all you have is numbers then you have no personality to them. If someone posts his character up on this site, I'm puzzled as to why the numbers are as they are.
Where's the rest of him that makes him a living breathing character? However, Critias had said that the character backgrounds should be taken down and I complied. Angrily of course. Smiting me for following an official takedown order isn't going to get you any points. (Critias is employed by Catalyst Game Labs, even though he admitted he's not a moderator, he might as well be treated as one).
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Or, alternately, character write-ups could ignore how they're all nudists or delphinophiles, and stick to the in-game numbers and stuff that folks expect to find in the character creation section of a gaming forum. Seriously, dude, we don't need to know the chick bangs dolphins in order to give suggestions about how her Shadowrun stats stack up...and if she's "probably the less controversial of the two," I really don't want to know what your other "impact" character is into having sex with.
I'm not a mod. I'm not reporting this to mods. I'm not seeking direct mod action. But personally, speaking only for myself as a gamer, and someone who writes for games, I think this is exactly the sort of fetishized weirdness the hobby doesn't need, particularly on a game's official site, in a section primarily browsed by folks cruising for rules/character creation info.
I see nothing in here that says the character backgrounds should be taken down. I see the implication that you should remove the 'fetishized weirdness' that you wrote into it, yes, but not that you should remove the entire character background; that's your sour grapes.
Critias writes very, very specifically and deliberately; rarely does he write what he does not mean. Removing everything is the equivalent of throwing a tantrum, taking your ball, and threatening to go home. That's fine if that's how you want to play it - but don't kid yourself into thinking that you're doing it because somebody else 'made you'. You're doing it because you didn't like people speaking out about something they don't think belongs here. Which, I guess, started with me.
So yeah - use that internal editor, put up something that you think everyone's mom would be okay reading, and go with that. Otherwise ... well, whatever.
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Awesome. I'll look it up
I'm frustrated at the moment because I remember all the basics of the run (and even have a mental image of some of the artwork from it), but I can't for the life of me remember what book it was in. I want to say it was early SR3 material, and to be honest I thought it might've been First Run or Corporate Punishment, but now I'm rummaging around and just can't find it. Hopefully that at least narrows it down for ya.
Well, Critias has had his way.
I deleted the background for the character simply because his post is a take down notice...However, Critias had said that the character backgrounds should be taken down and I complied.
First thing's first, it wasn't any sort of notice. It was a request. I went out of my way to make it clear that I was just me, personally, feeling some misgivings about some of the subject matter, and -- in particular -- I was worried about what you have planned to top it, with the dolphin-lady being the "less controversial" of the two.
Second? I didn't say a peep about taking down the whole stinkin' background, so don't go pinning that on me. I asked for what could have been about a two-line edit. Instead, you deleted all of it in a huff. It's like someone asking an acquaintance to watch their language around the family kids, and in response that person rips out their larynx and then waves it around like it's someone else's fault.
Smiting me for following an official takedown order isn't going to get you any points. (Critias is employed by Catalyst Game Labs, even though he admitted he's not a moderator, he might as well be treated as one).
There is absolutely no reason to treat me like a moderator. I'm not sure what I can say to make it more clear than that, so I'll just repeat it, instead; there is absolutely no reason to treat me like a moderator. I'm just a freelancer, dude. I'm not a line developer, or even a fancy full-time guy with major responsibilities, like Bull. Sometimes I send in proposals, sometimes they say yes to them. That's it.
What weight I have around here -- if I have any, which I don't really feel like I do -- comes solely from the amount of time I've been on here, and my post count, or whatever you want to call "community membership."
So (a) don't go acting like my request was some sort of formal proclamation, and (b) don't go acting like my request was more than it was. I expressed a personal desire to see less bestiality on the sight, and you took it as some jackbooted insistence you tear down the whole thing. Reality and your perception of it aren't quite lining up, and I sincerely hope this clarified things a bit.
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...is not cool. Requesting folks to be "brutal" and then throwing a huff when they are brutal is annoying, to me at the very least.
Well, Critias has had his way.
I deleted the background for the character simply because his post is a take down notice. Eccentric old maid (http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3191923,00.html)s aside, I was angry because if all you have is numbers then you have no personality to them. If someone posts his character up on this site, I'm puzzled as to why the numbers are as they are.
Where's the rest of him that makes him a living breathing character? However, Critias had said that the character backgrounds should be taken down and I complied. Angrily of course. Smiting me for following an official takedown order isn't going to get you any points. (Critias is employed by Catalyst Game Labs, even though he admitted he's not a moderator, he might as well be treated as one).
Seriously dude? Look, if you want to make your characters into some kink, that's cool. Have at it. But to pretend to be some sort of artistic martyr? Bullshit, son.
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That just makes me think of another Occupy event with a ton of protestors sitting around a dolphin's blow-hole for two weeks.
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Wow. Interesting, er, conversation.
Anyway, if you want to have skills at Rating 2 and 3, I would recommend the Karma Generation system, as the BP system punishes characters who have Ratings in the middle ranges for pretty much everything. Karma gen costs the same after creation as it does at creation, so it won't punish you for choosing to not excel in your specialty fields."
As for the whole dolphin-thing, you could, you know, just imply that she is very, very close to her dolphin friends and would rather spend time with her dolphins than go out on a date, you know. Remember, this is a public site, and public sites cna be read by children, but children don't normally understand subtle innuendos unless their parents don't care if they do. I think by the loook of it the objection was more about out and out stating exactly what she does, possibly vividly enough to generate mental pictures, since a comment was made about two whole lines of text.
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I want to know what the other character was now