Shadowrun
Shadowrun General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Silverblade on <12-26-12/0335:38>
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Next week my Shadowrun group and I are going to finish an adventure we are in the middle of, which involves rescuing the girlfriend of my character from an anti-metahuman hate group. I plan to find the leader of this group an kill him 90s action movie style, by spouting a clever pre-mortem one liner and then blowing his head off with a shotgun, or possibly tossing off a building or into some sort of machine.
However I'm having trouble thinking of a good original pre-mortem one liner, all the ones I come up with have already been used in movies, and even then I can't think of very many.
So I was wondering if you guys could help me come up with some witty things to say before or after I kill the villian. Write down the one liner and the situation it should be used in.
For example.
"I hope you brought your wallet... because the rent in hell gets paid in advance!" (Can be used in most any situation)
"Cool off, asshole" (For when you toss an enemy into anything cold, e.g.: refridgerator, vat of dry ice, the villian is snow or ice themed)
"Screw you!" (For when you kill an enemy with a drill or screw driver)
"How shocking." (After you have electrocuted an enemy)
Original ones would be great but if you can only think of ones from movies those would be welcome too.
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"This might sting a bit.", before stabbing him... or sending a Bee Spirit towards him.
"Smile! You're on camera.", with a Smartgun in his/her face.
"This'll blow your mind!", <insert stunball/bolt, manaball/bolt, powerball/bolt, etc>
"Say hello to my little friend." <insert Panther, Gauss Rifle or GE Vindicator>.
"This'll brighten your day!" <Fire laser rifle>
"Always look on the bright side of life." <Fire laser rifle>
"Don't let it get under your skin.", before triggering the demolisher nanites in his bloodstream.
"Thank you for choosing <insert mage name> airlines.", before levitating the enemy off of a building or a hundred feet in the air and then dropping the sustain.
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On partial mission fail (Girlfriend/teammate fatality): "This one's for (insert name here)"
*Points shotgun at downed bad guy* "You know, I could shoot you now. It'd be easy. But then you'd die not knowing how unhappy I am with you. So I won't" *Toss shotgun aside and pound the guy into the pavement with your own two hands.*
*Disarm target by blowing their arm off with buckshot* "Hurts, don't it? Well, while we're waiting for shock to set in..." *Slams him in face with shotgun butt.* "Out of curiosity, which hurts more?"
"You." *Blows left leg off* "Don't." *Blows right leg off* "Touch." *Blows right arm off* "My." *Blows right arm off* "GIRLFRIEND!" *Boom, headshot!*
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Once Silverblade makes his choice, it would be great to see what one liners other players at your table cooked up during session. We've had quite a few cheesy ones and lots of hilarious ones, I'm curious to read about the ones you haerd at your table. There's always this witty clown playing at the table. :P
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My personal favorite was
"Interior Redecorating time!" right after my player dropped a frag grenade into the sun roof of an armored limousine and proceeded to cover the hole with a manhole cover. Chunky Salsa took on new meanings for the suit he geeked.
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After using a fridge door on someone's head "Now that you have all that blood rushing to your head perhaps you are ready to talk?"
After an apartment that two team members went up to grab a snitch explodes, "What the hell did they say?"
What not to say when going to collect a snitch that's very paranoid <Knock on door> "We've come to getcha" in a deep gravely voice.
When to start worry when your very well equipped drone rigger says this "Hey, I got a plan!"
When to really worry when your initiated mages say "Wait I got an idea!"
When the shaman of the group tries out her new weapon focus staff, "BONK!" a lot of successes later ended with a full body armored Rapid Response Team member getting turned into a human version of a turtle.
These were lines spoken by my team during various runs from a number of years.
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"Huff... Puff..." force 1 Air spirit that I made inflate our tires right after they got shot up. We jokingly said that it had to use it's Noxious Breath power for it. ;D
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Quoteables, huh? (http://forums.dumpshock.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=29958&view=findpost&p=894574)
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Walking by a bunch of enemy's and say "Hey guys how's your health care." when they start shooting I yell "Must be great.
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Heh. What's fun is when I had a character who would quote bible verses during combat as a form of psychological warfare. Because there's just something creepy about a guy calmly quoting Revelations during a firefight.
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"But you forget- I am doctor. Terrible doctor, but still doctor!'
And, perhaps my favorite, during a food fight I once said(as a hyper augmented street samurai)
"I squat down behind an aisle and call the police."
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Heh. What's fun is when I had a character who would quote bible verses during combat as a form of psychological warfare. Because there's just something creepy about a guy calmly quoting Revelations during a firefight.
We have that character in our group now.
"Be at peace, my son" *Blows foe away with shotgun at point blank range*
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I liked this one (IMO A-Team):
Here comes your fifty seconds of glory. Look here (pointing the gun at target), Smile, Wait for the flash.
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This is a good one I forgot.
(said shortly after ripping out a hitman's tongue in an attempt to get him to write down information for the team)
"Man, we ripped out his tongue and he's still not talking. What a professional. I mean of course we'll have to kill him, but I respect his professional work habits."
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We play in French so most of them would not make that much sense after translation. But here's a few that has been either said in English at the table or can be translated perfectly.
Smiley always says (sometimes shouts) with his infamous grin, before finishing off a target: "Service with a smile!"
Smiley, after the GM finished a grim and disgusting description of a scene, putting emphasis on despair and pain: "HAHA! Redmond! I wouldn't want it any other way!"
Smiley at the end of a meeting with a client while unusually pissed: "So, where's the guaranteed smile?" "If you have a complaint, contact the damn customer services." "If you have such a thing Smiley, I would rather not!"
Our team hacker while in really deep trouble (they should have listened to Smiley): "No fraggin' way! My death WILL have something to do with women, whips and lubricant!"
Our smuggler/weapon specialist in voice comm while exacting revenge upon one of his competitors (he's naturally a weapon dealer): " What the hell is this? What does this drek means?" "It's Irish! For yor focked!!!" (with rolled Rs and a strong irish accent)
Our Mage after entering a Halloweener hideout: "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass! And I'm all outta Oh! Hey! Found some in my pocket! So... Where was I? Ah, yes! The ass kicking part!" (violence ensued)
The hacker and the wheelwoman: "Oh the curves on that thing! Makes you wanna take her for a wild ride!" "Meh! I prefer muslce ones with lots of power and character! And a sensitive but solid shifter!" (we're still not sure if they were talking about cars)
Those are the ones that comes to mind for now. I'm sure I'll remember some more later. :P
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Our smuggler/weapon specialist in voice comm while exacting revenge upon one of his competitors (he's naturally a weapon dealer): " What the hell is this? What does this drek means?" "It's Irish! For yor focked!!!" (with rolled Rs and a strong irish accent)
Erin go Braugh!!!
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When kicking down doors or otherwise making a surprise combat entry, I've always been a fan of "Avon calling!" or variations on same.
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When kicking down doors or otherwise making a surprise combat entry, I've always been a fan of "Avon calling!" or variations on same.
"Candygram."
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Now I want to make a Shark Shapechanger. ;D
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When kicking down doors or otherwise making a surprise combat entry, I've always been a fan of "Avon calling!" or variations on same.
"Candygram."
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Now I want to make a Shark Shapechanger. ;D
*knocks on door* Landshark!
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My character with his sniper scope on his target and hacks in to the commlinks of his target and talks to him and says "I am just the messager I never wanted you dead I am just doing my job. Everyone is destined to die, you're just before all the rest." and pull the trigger putting them down with one shot.
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I always imagine Old Man Jones just raising an eyebrow in annoyance before people's heads start exploding.
He's not exactly a chatty sorta guy.
-k
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*Over a smoking muzzle* "Shoot, then talk."
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"Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Feed a man to the fish...problem solved."
-- Bad Wolf
-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist
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Friends help you move. Real friends help you move the bodies.
or
enemies you threaten make armies. Enemies you kill make graves.
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"You seem to be mistaken on a few key points. When I said I did not wish to fight you, it did not mean that I was scared of you. I see myself as a pacifist. Unnecessary conflict is terrible for civilized society. So I avoid fighting when I can. However, that does not mean I believe in non-retaliation. On the contrary, I believe that when someone strikes you, you should turn and make an example of them that is so horrible to look upon that no one will dare strike you again. And in this way, I keep the peace."
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"No. I won't fight you."
"Then you die, coward!" <charges>
<sidesteps, trips, grabs and snaps neck in the blink of an eye> "I don't call anything this easy a fight."
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In response to running into a SURGE type III who ended up playing a martial arts tiger-man.
I could not resist saying it: "Is that the coveted... TIGER STANCE?!"
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ranged street sammy's motto 1: someday someone will kill me with my own gun, but they will have to beat me to death with it because it's going to be empty
ranged street sammy's motto 2: I have a bullet with your name on it and I will keep on firing until I figure out which one it is.
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"I'M A SCARECROW IN A CORNFIELD MOTHERFUCKER!"
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"You seem to be mistaken on a few key points. When I said I did not wish to fight you, it did not mean that I was scared of you. I see myself as a pacifist. Unnecessary conflict is terrible for civilized society. So I avoid fighting when I can. However, that does not mean I believe in non-retaliation. On the contrary, I believe that when someone strikes you, you should turn and make an example of them that is so horrible to look upon that no one will dare strike you again. And in this way, I keep the peace."
Reminds me of another one:
"I'm a pacifist."
"But...you just killed those guys! Like, a lot!"
"Well, I never said I was any good at it."
-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist
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"I don't always Shadowrun, but when I do, it's Soykaff." - Gundam, the World's Most Interesting Decker
"I will hug the evil out of you!!!"
"Where I come from, trolls don't walk THROUGH the door, they usually open it first."
"Geek the mage first, geek the ork with the big gun next, and call in artillery support for the cybernetic troll."
"I need to do my ANTI-Rain Dance again!" - Crazy Talks, The World's Worst Shaman
"Public Vehicular Fornication?"
"Gecko tape + thermite bars = A Happy Shadowrunner."
"I heard that papered offices are a great idea, you can double-check data that might get digitally corrupted."
"Can I call you back, I'm busy chasing an Indian at the moment..."
"LenseCrafters: 1-Hour Cybereyes while you wait"
"Remind me to pay you... SO I CAN DOCK YOUR SALARY!"
"I'm just sitting on the side, playing Angry Seagulls on my AR."
"It could be worse, you could have dealt with the ideas HE gave me." "I ended up naked, upside down, in a ghoul den."
"I've seen some strange things in my life, and this ain't one of them."
"Buy local, buy knock-off."
"Governor Brackhaven's power bill just went to 5,000,000¥."
"I don't want to use the mop bucket for anything! INCLUDING MOPPING!"
"I own stock in the company that makes Gecko Tape."
"Can someone go and do this delicately please, I forgot how."
"Ho Ho Ho, now I have a fire axe."
"I'm going to strangle the ganger with my scarf and bury him in soykaff cups." - Note: Trips the Elf wears a Fourth Doctor-style scarf
"Even Aztechnology knows shame."
"I got my +5 Mace of get the frag out!" - Gundam providing Geek Cred and Shadowrunner Cred at the same time
"And your Creedence optical chip was stolen, too."
And, for the best one-liners around... MUNGO (http://forums.dumpshock.com/index.php?showtopic=38244&st=425&p=1201116&#entry1201116)!
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Younger Cop: Sometimes. Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though.
Older Cop: Or the Creedence.
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From the Shadowrun Tournament at Origins back in '91, after our team geeked the Big Bad in the first round: "The quarterback is TOAST!"
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Looks like someone used it in Battlestar Galactica:
"The quaterback is TOASTER!"
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From the Shadowrun Tournament at Origins back in '91, after our team geeked the Big Bad in the first round: "The quarterback is TOAST!"
Columbus, Die Hard, and a Mutant Enemy reference in your sig?
Oh, you're good.
;D
-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist
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"Your flesh will taste excellent lightly seasoned with nutmeg!"
Great for ghouls. ;)
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"Your flesh will taste excellent lightly seasoned with nutmeg!"
Great for ghouls. ;)
Another OOTS fan. ;) Well, there are a number of quotes from that webcomic that can be applied to shadowrun.
-Hey, I don't make the crazy rules, I just twist them to my purpose.
-I'm a freelance wealth redistribution specialist.
-We're seasoned professionals (well, semi-seasoned quasi-professionals at any rate). This is any beginning shadowrun team. :)
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And, for the best one-liners around... MUNGO (http://forums.dumpshock.com/index.php?showtopic=38244&st=425&p=1201116&#entry1201116)!
My favorite Mungo quote is how he uses his MMO guild members as run contacts. ^_^
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My favorite Mungo quote is how he uses his MMO guild members as run contacts. ^_^
Um... That's based off a PC that actually did have his MMORPG Guild as a Group Contact. :-[
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Wow, CanRay, a story with Mungo as main character would really, really rock!
Q: Could the same ("big, stupid but effective troll hacker") be done with Face instead of hacker, too? How'd the combination of high social skills and charisma work when negotiating or pulling a con?
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Fighter: TWO-FISTED MONKEY STYLE ATTACK!
Black Mage: Whatever that is, it better involve keeping his pants on.
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Our team v&ns a couple of Deckers (tased, hooded, shoved in a van, wrung through the old Good Face/Bad Merc routine), then steal their comlinks, wrap them up in gecko tape, and dump them on the sidewalk.
As we pull away, tires smoking, our Orc Gun Adept leans out the door, holding the comlinks in the air, and shouts:
"Don't worry! We'll mail them back to yoooooou!"
*facepalm*
-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist
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After bringing down a merc gunship by carefully lining up a shot straight down the barrel of its assault cannon as it pointed straight at me, the merc commander goes on comms and does the "Now it's personal, we're coming to get you" routine.
My reply: "Bring EVERYTHING."
While being attacked and ranted at by a rogue vengefu AI that's holding me in VR:
AI: "Aren't you afraid to die?"
Me: "No. For us, dying is a natural thing. As for you, a perfect, immortal machine... poor thing, you must be terrified. Because once I'm out of here, I'll find you, put you in a commlink with no wireless, and just enough Response left to see the battery life timer count down. Then I'm going to put you in a steel box, pour cement in it, and drop it in the sea. And you know how I'll be able to do this? Because I can leave this place any time I want. You can't." (To a companion in meat space) "Mouse, jack me."
Street Sam on a roaring rampage of revenge, knocking down a door to a Rad Pad:
"County Marshall! You are being served an eviction notice! Vacate the premises immediately!"
(Tossing a guy out the window)
"I said, VACATE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY!"
And my favorite so far:
"Park ranger! Drop your weapons!"
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"Your flesh will taste excellent lightly seasoned with nutmeg!"
Great for ghouls. ;)
Another OOTS fan. ;) Well, there are a number of quotes from that webcomic that can be applied to shadowrun.
-Hey, I don't make the crazy rules, I just twist them to my purpose.
-I'm a freelance wealth redistribution specialist.
-We're seasoned professionals (well, semi-seasoned quasi-professionals at any rate). This is any beginning shadowrun team. :)
That, and, "I'm always looking for new and exciting ways in which I can disappoint my father."
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Columbus, Die Hard, and a Mutant Enemy reference in your sig?
Oh, you're good.
Origins '91 was actually in Baltimore, but taken in the spirit offered. :)
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Some things said by my players, either as catch phrases, or spontaneous....
- "I dont do water" by a dwarf that was allergic to salt water, couldnt swim at all, and only drank alcohol. You couldnt even get him on a boat or into the Gates Underground Hotel.
- "In your FACE!" by a crazy elf that shot the squirt gun into peoples faces.
- "Ill think I hear my wife calling......." After a very clean cut Face enters Aces bar an glitches an etiquette test. The Face then double timed out of the face to seek his team for backup before returning :D
- This one isnt a line but, I had an adept that scared / intimitaded people into pissing themselves at least a half dozen times.
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- This one isnt a line but, I had an adept that scared / intimitaded people into pissing themselves at least a half dozen times.
How?
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We have a free spirit in our game who possesses hosts. In the middle of a very intense moment, when I can get us out of trouble but I'm going to need a boost, I turn to him and say, utterly deadpan:
"Koan, this is the only time I'm ever going to say this to you, but... I need you inside me."
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We have a free spirit in our game who possesses hosts. In the middle of a very intense moment, when I can get us out of trouble but I'm going to need a boost, I turn to him and say, utterly deadpan:
"Koan, this is the only time I'm ever going to say this to you, but... I need you inside me."
There are times i wish the +1s still exist. This is one of them.
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The Face says to the mage: "Hey, can you turn the helicopter invisible?"
[moment of silence in which the player of the mage gets a very intent, thoughtful look on his face, hand on chin, and then nods three times and says]
Mage: "I....could set it on fire?"
[entire group erupts into 2 or 3 minutes of outright laughing.]
Preacher, the Mystic Theurge who is a defrocked Catholic priest surged into having angelic wings, is in this same group. The player has fallen asleep. I, as the GM, attract his attention to inform him it is his turn. He rouses, shouts Stunbolt in a stentorian voice, rolls his dice, and immediately passes back out without declaring the result. Later, he did almost the exact same thing twice more. Much later, he didn't remember the fight at all, when he finally woke up and stayed up.
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"I find that most problems can be solved with thoughtful application of maximum firepower."
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"We're not outnumbered, we're just in a target-rich environment"
(Streetsammie after he runs out of fingers while counting the bad guys)
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"If we are gonna work together, I only have three rules:
*Holds up first three fingers* Complete the mission, at any cost.
*Folds down ring finger* Protect your team.
*Folds down index finger* Dont. #^@%. With Bad Wolf!"
-- Bad Wolf, Hobgoblin Merc
-Jn-
City of Brass Expatriate
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Cool rules JN but not sure 1 and 2 work together...
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1 supercedes 2. tis why it's 1
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- This one isnt a line but, I had an adept that scared / intimitaded people into pissing themselves at least a half dozen times.
How?
Either by passing his Intimidation with +4 net hits, or the enemy glitching in the opposed roll. Obviuously, the pissing himself result is my chosen result.
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Best line ever from my group, was when the thugish street sam was trying to distract the guards at the front gate of a building:
Tony Hez: "Hey, yo guard, I got a problem."
Guard walks over, placing a hand on his taser.
Tony Hez: "It's my gun. It's got TOO MANY BULLETS." *Quickdraws*
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From last night:
"I send the rest of the team somewhere they can't hurt themselves."
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Ooops... Was that a vital organ?
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Next week my Shadowrun group and I are going to finish an adventure we are in the middle of, which involves rescuing the girlfriend of my character from an anti-metahuman hate group. I plan to find the leader of this group an kill him 90s action movie style, by spouting a clever pre-mortem one liner and then blowing his head off with a shotgun, or possibly tossing off a building or into some sort of machine.
However I'm having trouble thinking of a good original pre-mortem one liner, all the ones I come up with have already been used in movies, and even then I can't think of very many.
So I was wondering if you guys could help me come up with some witty things to say before or after I kill the villian. Write down the one liner and the situation it should be used in.
For example.
"I hope you brought your wallet... because the rent in hell gets paid in advance!" (Can be used in most any situation)
"Cool off, asshole" (For when you toss an enemy into anything cold, e.g.: refridgerator, vat of dry ice, the villian is snow or ice themed)
"Screw you!" (For when you kill an enemy with a drill or screw driver)
"How shocking." (After you have electrocuted an enemy)
Original ones would be great but if you can only think of ones from movies those would be welcome too.
There's always the Scottish favourite if you're using a blade of some sort.
"Can ye mammie sew?" Slash, stab. "Well tell 'er to stitch tha'"
Also works with broken bottles and headbutts.
If you're on a roof, ask him if he'll help you with a question you've been struggling with and you'll let him go. Presumably he says yes, in which case say "Can a man evolve the ability to [start pushing him off the roof] fly if he really needs to?" Watch what happens and then ask a team mate "Do you think bouncing counts?"
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He has beaten troll squatters out of his van with nothing more than a lead pipe.
He hacks GridGuide so often, they call him for IT.
He's Gundam, the most interesting Decker in the world!
"I don't always Shadowrun, but when I do, it's Soykaff."
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"Brackhaven can take a long, hard suck on me... No, no, no, I know where he's been."
"The Wicked Navajo from the West over here..." "I should be offended by that, but you're white, you don't know any better."
"He eats a box of condoms and dreks dime bags..."
*Clipy Pops Up* "You seem to be having a hard time with your targeting autosoft, would you like help?"
"Don't even bother rolling Drain, you... Oh, wait, you have sucky stats, roll!"
"You have a DocDragon contact?"
"So we have the dogs chasing the walking Dunkie plushies and there's a troll is doing the kickin' chicken in front of the gate..."
"Roll your unarmed by attacking the Electric Fence..."
"Would you like to touch the electric fence again? You had so much fun last time!"
"Sledge open door! Sledge go night-night." "You're pushing that 'Stupid Troll' stereotype a little too far." "Troll take nappy time!"
Farmer John and The Biker With No Name are dragging the big black troll into the back of a panel van...
You know, if you're fast enough, you can get him to the Japanese tattooist at the shop...
"And you're looking down the barrel of the..." "Which gun do you want to use today?"
"Sparky the Technomancer and Crazy Talks the Shaman..."
"I smell burnt toast." "No, you smell burnt troll."
"Look on the bright side, you haven't offered someone as a sacrifice this game!" "Wait."
"She has the portable version of YOUR FENCE!"
"Why would someone FedEx so much Baking Powder?"
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Me: You're able to scavenge the LMG; it has 33 rounds left in the belt.
Job, the Troll Rigger: Well now, those are 33 rounds of someone else's problem.
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Encounter between my Troll Druid, Sweetums and his old nemesis Rooster (who gave him a nasty scar a while back that smoothed out a patch of his chest).
ROOSTER: Maybe it's time for a bit of smoothing...
SWEETUMS: You're right. [Breathes an unholy nasty Flamethrower spell on him]
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Against any enemy in full plate armor:"Knights Out, slot." ;)
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I hereby invite people to my Facebook group, as I've been yelled at for spamming my Facebook feed. (https://www.facebook.com/groups/518910071492981/)
Quotes are posted during game.
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I refuse to voluntarily let Horizon's subsidiaries spy on me like that!
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I refuse to voluntarily let Horizon's subsidiaries spy on me like that!
Would you like me to post the items here?
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Mungo deserves his own forum category.
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My team mage loves the "I make things go boom" type, though surprisingly this campaign he hasn't picked up Ball elemental spells yet. He still says this at least once per session: "Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"Stop reading my notes," when the team starts speculating how they're going to die, or how things are going to go massively sideways.
Arrogant NPC says, "Who's going to stop me?"
What showed up? Critical success (or critical hit, I actually forget which game that was from). "I am."
Watcher spirit watches team ziplining into the upper floors of a police station, informs its conjurer, then the security team critically glitches their perception roll. "Eh, it's nothing. I've got gas."
In one run (fortunately having prepared for parachuting), the team stole a helicopter and was speeding away at high altitude from the site of extraction. A security guard comes up to the roof with a rocket launcher and fires. The pilot sees this and shouts, in perfect fake Austrian accent, "Get out of ze choppa!"
These definitely deserve to live in infamy:I'm a freelance wealth redistribution specialist.
Dennis Moore!
"We're not outnumbered, we're just in a target-rich environment"
Tony Hez: "Hey, yo guard, I got a problem. It's my gun. It's got TOO MANY BULLETS."
"I don't always Shadowrun, but when I do, it's Soykaff."
He doesn't always take out the recycle, but when he does he looks like a raging alcoholic.
Please stop. Your actions are only embarrassing us both.
As does Rook, actually. Rook's just a gun that drags this Ork dude around behind it all day
slapping an entire roll of tranq. patches to the point of fatal overdose: "I can kill people with stickers!"
Street Shaman: "I want to shift my perception to Astral and Assense the food."
GM <best irish accent>: "Its magically delicious."
Coyote shaman: Do you want to see a magic trick?
Face: Okay.
Coyote shaman: Give me your commlink.
Face: (thinks)... No.
I actually saw something much like this in real life, many years ago.
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"I don't always Shadowrun, but when I do, it's Soykaff."
He doesn't always take out the recycle, but when he does he looks like a raging alcoholic.
Gundam, the world's most interesting Decker, read this at the same time I did.
He doesn't always get revenge, but when he does, your SINs are purged.
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Did you say duck wagon?
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or my fav "yipee ki yay"!
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Me: (Paraphrase) "Alright, you hide behind the sign as the Lone Star officers pass by. Listening to their conversation you hear that one of them will be retiring in a few days..."
Player: "*holds up and racks an invisible Slivergun.*"
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Latin is great for One Liners
"Sit Emptor Cavete. OHHH YEAAAH!"
"Nihil nihil valet."
"Nihil novi sub gun"
"Dicere "vale" ad gravem mortem drek caput"
"It's pronounced with a Hard C you fucking moron."
The last one was to a Ganger who went under the name Caeser.
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A: Hey, tasers are nonlethal, right? That means I can use this as much as I want!
B: Stun damage overflows.
A: I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome this is.
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You guys are working too hard for it. Short and sweet is the watchword here - if you take too long to get to the gold, no one will care about it. Try this 10-minute clip of some of the greatest insults of all time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSEYXWmEse8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSEYXWmEse8)
Change as appropriate for the setting, and all is good! My favorite one I plan to use when I play my Ork next - "Sit your five nuyen ass down before I make change!"
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From my sniper character , "don't run, you'll only die tired!"
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Bad Wolf, Hobgoblin Merc, to Dwarven teammate:
"Shhh! Grown-ups talking!"
-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist
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However I'm having trouble thinking of a good original pre-mortem one liner, all the ones I come up with have already been used in movies, and even then I can't think of very many.
I know this all too well. For some reason this is all I can ever think of when it's one-liner time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFWAO_WYr5Q
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I shouted this while playing RE5 with my husband, but it's easily applicable to many situations.
"Stand back! I'm going to commit SURGERY!"
Whilst standing nigh 1 foot away from Jil, with an M500 about to shoot the implant on her chest.
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"Yeah and? It's a Rule. A damn good rule. A damn well thought out rule, nevertheless a Rule. And our kind has a tendency to break rules."
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"Stand back! I'm going to try SCIENCE."
<cue team with "oh god" groans diving behind cover>
Also, "Trust me, I'm a doctor."
<whisper> "Is he really?" "Yeah, absolutely. I've even seen the mail order diploma."
-k
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"Stand back! I'm going to try SCIENCE."
SCIENCE!
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An old link brought me back here, so I thought I'd do some Narcothreading and put in a few lines from the games this... Far too long.
After Crazy Talks (The Most Interesting Vegas Shaman In The World) was arrested due to a practical joke at a drive-thru: "I should have brought my bow and arrows. Those are sound suppressed." "Those were seized in the station wagon." "I can make new ones."
And, later about the Station Wagon: "We can take my car, but it's still in lockup. It's still evidence, but it's been downgraded from homicide to arson."
And more about the damned car: "A very nice police officer down at the station burned my car to a crisp. Strangely enough, I am OK with this."
And about the PC that caused the problem around the Station Wagon: "I didn't even learn the name of the guy that got me in jail. I didn't have time! Chunky?" "Well, he was buried in a Salsa Tub."
"I Ainten't Dead" - Sign on Crazy Talks when he goes Astral
"You brought grenades to a business meeting?" "I left them in the car!"
Shadowrunner Ink (Tattoo shop covering a illegal trid-porn studio covering a Shadowrunner crew) grabbing random PC guy number 3 for a 'run: "Oh dear Ghost, I just came in for a Prince Albert!!!"
"So here's an Edge for your roll to be tattooed." "Because you've messed up this guy's life enough all ready."
"Why is a tattoo parlour calling me?" "We're trying to expand our business. You're our one-hundredth caller. That we, um, auto-dialled."
"Actually, his shipping container home improved the property values of the tattoo shop." "Yes, I actually have a white picket fence." "What did you built it out of?" "Broken pallets."
"That's Buddy, he's our special forces. Very special forces. Short bus to the combat zone special."
Also about Buddy: "Where did you get a kilo of novacoke?" "From my shorts." "Where did it come from?" "The shorts fairy?"
"Crazy-Talks, it takes you almost three weeks to feel spiritually clean after that one shift at the call centre." "I visit Buddy to sit next to his Meth Lab, it'll help me feel better."
"They're hunting the cock-blocking roosters." (Cockatrices, but it still fits.).
"And then we rode a giant snake into battle!"
The Pornomancer, literally she is the director for Shadowrunner Ink movies, trying to distract some Humanis thugs at a church meeting: "Look, we brought you an elf!"
And, later, a different group of Humanis Thugs: "I could approach them as I'm a human. And you're a human. And you..." "No."
"For once, we didn't get our way through violence."
"And make it so that he can see trial." "Yeah, because you guys are all about law and order."
"If we kill this guy and take his stuff, I might try to buy his house." "Making opportunities in the rental market."
"Hello, have you heard the Good Word of the Spirits?"
"So we have Neo, Neo, Mad Scientist, and Extra From Tombstone."
Introducing the new PC's vehicle of choice: "He is driving the van from that Pepsi commercial, while *MY* van gets spray painted!"
More about the van: "I have a flatbed trailer being towed by a van with a metal album cover on the side. Nothing about this is legal."
"Usually when you're knocked out, you're missing things." "Typically all of your money and most of your dignity. Or all of your dignity and most of your money."
Another from Crazy-Talks: "OK, so I go into the toy section, find dolls, and get my Mass Animate spell ready..."
Again, Crazy-Talks: "What am I going to do, shoot a taser arrow into him and steal his pants?" "No, you'll do it like a proper Indian. You'll scalp him like the French taught you." "You'll feel a slight tingling, then absolute agony."
"My character does not have faith with this crew." "I hate to break it to you, the regulars don't either."
"I kind of feel bad, I killed a Power Ranger mech." and, later, "Man, we're doing society a favor for doing this. Ukrainian Super Sentai, you can't trust them." and continuing, "This thing was made with love. And it was destroyed by porn star love." "That's called lust."
"He is stronger than is physically possible. He has cybernetics that make him more human than human. Despite being a troll."
"You wake up to the forensic shaman staring at you and a puddle spirit humping your chest." "Not the strangest way that I've woken up."
"So, when you wake up, the bleeding is not my fault. I do take credit for the bruises."
"Do I get experience point for killing the airbag?"
"You're probably wondering why I'm wearing this gas mask. Surprised you're not asking why I'm not wearing pants."
"We're on a mission for Hentai?" "You've seen live-action Hentai."
"A high pitched screaming comes after you open the door." "Watcher spirit?" "Something more mundane, a home alarm."
"I think it is a Germanic language?" "From the Umlauts, yes. Either that, or it is a Metal band."
"This troll stole my land, gave me a corner to live on it. I'm thinking of making a casino." - Crazy-Talks, Las Vegas Exile
"Wait a minute, we actually get experience?" (After months of weekly games and no karma spending)
"Bill, you are my best friend today." "What do you need?"
"You see all the walks of life for magical traditions. Looks like they are equal opportunity exploiters."
"But can you do Feng Shui?" "Hey, I'm a Contractor, I can break ANYTHING." "I can believe it."
"Hey, let's mess up the Feng Shui by taking the porn studio mop bucket and mix it with paint..." "No, that'd destroy the building."
"I have the skills to change the plumbing in the office." "Yeah, but you have three days, and no permission." "That's a problem."
"They're going to build a wall between the CAS and Aztlan." "Oh?" "Too many hillbilly redneck illegal immigrants stealing all the good Mexican jobs."
"I can go in for a interview." "I'll go into HR and hack him a appointment." "You could hack him a full-on job in HR." "True. Want a job?"
"What's he being reprimanded for?" "Losing the desk and keeping the headset."
"Not like there's any social stresses in Shadowrun." "Eighteen hour shifts at a call centre." "Oh, right, we forgot Crazy Talks! He's going to be working the whole shift. Without a desk or chair." "In all fairness, all he needs is a headset and a connection."
"He's in my damned country, learn the language." "Actually, you were in HIS country. It is a AA-Corp."
Bad Russian: "I have to go check Captain, see if drunk. If sober, must get drunk, can only navigate while drinking."
"I'm in Hawai'i! Don't ask! It involves Garden Gnomes!!! I think they're walking!"
"How would you like to buy some term life insurance? No? Are you sure, I know a guy with a really big rifle..."
"I heard this was gang territory. How much is a hunting permit?"
"You want me to smoke them out? Burn them? Take them to a Disco?" "I'm digging the Disco thing." "I'm going to need five Watchers and an Earth Elemental made of Diamonds!" "What?" "I need a disco ball."
"I'm going to mount this thing's head on my van."
"I think we all have vehicles to stash." "I don't. I took the bus." "Dude, send the bus back home!"
"I don't want Technomancer abilities! It's downright unnatural!" "Yeah, unlike magic." "Exactly!"
"Yahtzee!" "That doesn't work in Shadowrun."
"What's a Clue Bat." "It's a Wiffle Bat with a Taser attached."
"I've made bigger things than you by eating Fiber."
"They only want me for my car, why do they never want me for my body!"
"I'm here to do two things: Drink liquor and save your life! And the store is all out of liquor!"
"Souls aren't worth that much, especially in this neighborhood."
"Please don't hit the crane. It's already broken enough as is." "I try to hit the crane on my way out, like it's an accident. I casually have an accident."
"We found the statue, that's what we were paid to do." "It's there, and there, and there, and there..." "I'll get a broom."
"Wait, you mean you're actually teabagging a kill?"
"I didn't know you could smoke a bowl of stupid, but you've proven me wrong!"
"Five guys in a van." "Five guys-One van." "Sounds like a typical Shadowrunnner team, actually."
"The subject may be too heavily dressed for this unit. Please use the armor-piercing scissors to cut open the clothing and attach the sensors directly to skin." "I'm waiting on my monofilament chainsaw."
"A troll, an ork, and a human walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them, and says, 'Hey, what is this, a joke?'."
"I'm going to use my typical test for a magician. I run my sword through him. If he dies, he was a magician."
"Oh, big question, is there a Community Watch in this area?" "A little late now!"
"An elf with a bow? Really?" "Chewbacca had a bow." "He wasn't an elf, and he has a laser bow."
"And now I need to visit the Underwear Fairy."
"Marco." ... "POLO!" "Holy, I can't believe that worked!"
"It's like The Littlest Hobo if he'd been force fed steroids since he was a puppy."
"Gel rounds. Knock them out, then we can wake them up and tase them."
"I use my action to finish my beer."
"Is 'Law' a Knowledge skill?" "Yes. The active skill for that is 'Con'."
"We're being exiled to Newfoundland?"
"How do you spell that?" "Correctly."
"I need a bigger 'deck." "There's spam for that."
"So you Gecko-Tape him to a Lamppost with a sign says 'From Your Friendly, Local, Neighborhood Shadowrunners'?"
"I headbutted a truck. ... I won."
In a mail van: "Can I open the packages, can I open the packages???" "No, don't commit a Federal Offense!"
And during the planning stage that involved Shadowrunners getting into a mail van: "You realize it's a Federal Offense to go through someone's mail, right?"
"He just summoned Satan, who would you be more afraid of?" "Jesus beat you like a moneychanger."
"Oh, Ghost, you're worst than /dev/grrl." - Bull: The Greatest Ork Decker You Never Met
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"You think the rest are gonna surrender?"
"Nah, I think the rest are being quiet because they're all dead."
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"Is this going to be a delivery, or a de-liver-y?"
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I think the most badass lines one of my players said worked so well because it was so simple and totally deadpan.
Once in a while I like to get my players manipulated by a nasty Johnson, just to remind them what kind of world there are in. The Johnson was of that particular run was especially nasty, lying or withholding information about nearly every aspect of the run. But at the same time... business is business, right?
So at the end of the run, the team gets paid but is not too happy they were tricked into doing some bad stuff without realizing it, and confront the Johnson with it. I don't remember the exact words but the Johnson is basically super condescending and tells them that runners should never forget who they are dealing with.
Cue to one of my players (a massive Troll with a heart of gold) putting his fist in the Johnson's smug face and saying: "Don't worry, now I'm never going forget your ugly mug."
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When Mungo says "Ooops" (situation self explanatory)
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"You seem to be mistaken on a few key points. When I said I did not wish to fight you, it did not mean that I was scared of you. I see myself as a pacifist. Unnecessary conflict is terrible for civilized society. So I avoid fighting when I can. However, that does not mean I believe in non-retaliation. On the contrary, I believe that when someone strikes you, you should turn and make an example of them that is so horrible to look upon that no one will dare strike you again. And in this way, I keep the peace."
Reminds me of another one:
"I'm a pacifist."
"But...you just killed those guys! Like, a lot!"
"Well, I never said I was any good at it."
-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist
..I really like that one.
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"Stand back! I'm going to try SCIENCE."
<cue team with "oh god" groans diving behind cover>
Also, "Trust me, I'm a doctor."
<whisper> "Is he really?" "Yeah, absolutely. I've even seen the mail order diploma."
-k
...I've got to steal that first one one for my kid demolitionist.
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When Mungo says "Ooops" (situation self explanatory)
That's a lot of syllables for Mungo, isn't it?
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When Mungo says "Ooops" (situation self explanatory)
That's a lot of syllables for Mungo, isn't it?
Mungo likes lots of sellables, means he can take dem to da fenz for cash
But no, you are thinking of Growler who pretty much has made an art of speaking in grunts and partial facial expressions, but then he had to since getting the partial cyberskull and his speaker system is still on the fritz, suspect gremlins or something because we have replaced that unit several times.