I'll try to give you my own version of a build.
400 BP build
Metatype: Elf
Role: Mage/Face
Tradition: Black Magic
Mentor Spirit: dragon slayer
Qualities:
Positive - Magician, Mentor Spirit, Surge III( Vomeronasal Organ, Glamour, Nasty vibe, - symbiosis, extravagant eyes)
Negative - 35 BP of Character Defects
The first thing i'd do is something like this.
This is going to give you +5 in social conflicts and an extra +2 in the field of your choice (hint negotiation), and an extra 1 when you're within 3km of your home, just make sure you live in a nice ish area.
It works quite well as a theme, as you do work with black magic which means you can have a nasty vibe, but at the same time you have a charimsatic "good side" as black magic isn't all evil it's just self centred. I think of it this way, dragons are charismatic creatures and they can come off if they choose to as very graceful and charismatic, but piss them off and suddenly they are scary mother****ers
After that, Well my opinion is screw the power foci, Just get a spell-casting foci, and a bunch of sustaining foci. Improved reflexes and improved charisma is a must. stunbolt is a good go to spell,
You could lower some stats and use more sustaining foci, eg, body 2, improved attribute and foci, which would cost 15bp but save 30bp, and makes your stats cheaper to upgrade with karma
also you can put reactions to 5, get combat sense and a foci and improved attribute reactions and a foci. This means you can dodge with 11 dice without losing IP's and you have the armour to back it up if it fails.
I'd drop the intuition, yes its useful but you're too short in points. intuition 2 reactions logic 2, str 1 agi 2,
So cash wise it will be something like this, spellcast foci 45k, 4 sustaining foci 120k, other gear 35k total
body 3(6) agi 2 rea 5(

str 1 , cha 7(10) intu 2 log 2 will 5 Mag 5
Spells charisma, reactions, reflexes, combat sense, body, stunball
Stats 200BP Meta 30Bp Gear40B Skils 78BP, spells 18Bp Bonding 15Bp, Oh you still have 19Bp left?
And lets not forget a social dice pool of 16-19, drain resist of 15, combat spellcasting 16.
With the extra bp get a contact and more spells, like analyze truth, levitate and so on, or alternatively, take a magic hit, get tailored pheromones and something else.