[Helping Bear]

First of all, I want to say that I think this is a pretty cool character. Red Cobra is a pretty sweet street name. Playing a mafia character also is quite an interesting addition to any shadowrunning group. He is definitely weaker than your typical shadowrunner, but it's okay to play a weaker character sometimes. His combat skills and attributes are quite low, but every shadowrun completed will make him stronger. Here are a few things I can suggest off the top of my head...

1. You have an elephant rifle and a knife. After your first shadowrun, I'd start working on your longarms and blades skills. You can get them both at rating 1 after the first shadowrun.
2. A character named Red Cobra wearing Red Samurai armor is pretty cool, and so you should get your body up so you won't take encumbrance penalties.
3. People are going a little hard on your character, but role playing is not all about min maxing, it's about having fun.

Once again, this is a pretty cool character concept. A little weak in combat at the start of the campaign, and so I would advise starting out working for a low level Mr.Johnson.

[UmaroVI]

i think red cobra is a pretty cool guy, eh bakes muffins and doesn't afraid of anything

[emsquared]

Congratulations, Shadowjack, you have officially won the Internet! Or at least, you can have my share any time you would like.

Now if I could only figure out if this thread warms the cockles of my heart or destroys my faith in humanity.

[Bewilderbeast]

God help me, I was inspired.

== Info ==
Street Name: The Muffin Man
Name: Billy Winters
Movement: 10/25, Swim: 5
Karma: 0
Street Cred: 0
Notoriety: 1
Public Awareness: 0
Human
Composure: 8
Judge Intentions: 10
Lift/Carry: 5 (45 kg/30 kg)
Memory: 7
Nuyen: 0

== Attributes ==
BOD: 2
AGI: 2
REA: 2
STR: 3
CHA: 4
INT: 6
LOG: 3
WIL: 4
EDG: 5

== Derived Attributes ==
Essence:                   6
Initiative:                8
IP:                        1
Matrix Initiative:         6
Matrix IP:                 1
Physical Damage Track:     9
Stun Damage Track:         10

== Active Skills ==
Artisan                    : 7 [Baking]             Pool: 15 (17)
Chemistry                  : 4                      Pool: 7
Data Search                : 1                      Pool: 4
Demolitions                : 4                      Pool: 7
Etiquette                  : 4 [Food Service]       Pool: 8 (10)
First Aid                  : 4                      Pool: 7
Instruction                : 4 [Baking]             Pool: 8 (10)
Negotiation                : 4                      Pool: 8
Pilot Ground Craft         : 1                      Pool: 3

== Knowledge Skills ==
Chemistry                  : 1                      Pool: 4
Cooking Trid Shows         : 4                      Pool: 10
English                    : N                      Pool: 0
French                     : 4                      Pool: 10
Muffin Smuggling Routes    : 4                      Pool: 10
Muffin Syndicates          : 4                      Pool: 10
Muffin Theory              : 4                      Pool: 7
Muffins                    : 6                      Pool: 12

== Contacts ==
The Muffin Master (Fixer) (2, 2)

== Qualities ==
Aptitude (Artisan)
Day Job (20 hrs/week)
Incompetent (Con)
Inspired (Baking)

== Lifestyles ==
Middle  4 months

== Weapons ==
Extendable Baton
   Pool: 1   DV: 3P   AP: -   RC: 0
Unarmed Attack
   Pool: 1   DV: 2S   AP: -   RC: 0

== Gear ==
Fake SIN (Billy Winters, Baker and Entrepeneur) Rating 4
   +Fake License (Business License) Rating 4
   +Fake License (Driver's License) Rating 4
Tool Shop (Bakery)

== Vehicles ==
GMC Bulldog Step-Van (Van) ("The Muffin Mobile")
   +Vehicle Sensor

== Description ==
Before you stands a potbellied gorilla of a man, out-of-shape but standing at an impressive 6'4". He wears at all times a smock smeared with batter and the blood of his enemies. His eyes are wild and green, his hair matted and black. He has a terrifying, troll-like aura of intimidation and brutality about him. He also smells faintly of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls.

== Background ==
In the darkened alleys of Seattle, gangers speak in hushed tones of the dread and terrible Muffin Man, and his equally dread and terrible Muffin Van. While bakery-related heists are admittedly rare, those who can reach him agree there is no equal in terms of professionalism, moistness, or deliciousness. Whether bran or blueberry, banana-nut or pistachio, the Muffin Man delivers (Monday through Friday, with a 5 nuyen fee for deliveries to Redmond).

Do you know the Muffin Man? Because you're about to, omae.

== Concept ==
A slightly min-maxed muffin specialist, the Muffin Man should fit into any group. He may risk marginalizing other roles, however... who needs a face when you hand Mr. Johnson a gift basket full of piping hot cranberry-walnut muffins? Hello, extra nuyen!

Who needs a street samurai to combat a rampaging troll ganger when you can just hand him a bannan nut muffin instead? Everybody loves muffins!

Who needs a magician when you have the magic of a double chocolate chip muffin at your fingertips? Even spirits love muffins!

Who needs a hacker or rigger when something something muffins!

== Notes ==
Incompetence (Con): "I never need to lie about the quality of my muffins!"
Demolitions: Muffin bombs!
Chemistry: The possibilities or endless. Exploding mercury fulminate muffins! Poisonous arsenic muffins! Highly-illegal street muffins laced with combat drugs!
Etiquette: Proper buttering technique is vital to fully enjoying the Muffin Man's unrivalled muffins. Those phillistines that attempt to enjoy his muffins un-buttered will soon feel his wrath.
Instruction: For a select few, the Muffin Man may be willing to share his secrets... for a price.
Negotiation: Not really necessary, as these muffins practically sell themselves.
First Aid: For administering stomach-pumps in the event of muffin overdose.
Locksmith: For those rare occassions when some dastardly villain gets the better of the Muffin Man, locking him out of his muffin materials.
Data Search: For scouring the Matrix for more information on muffins.

[EternalZiggurat]

Bewilderbeast wins.

[Ernie55]

Mr beast, best.character.ever...

If he was a pc at my regular tabletop game we would never stop introducing him as *affects ginger bread man voice* "do you know the... MUFFIN MAN!" *2nd player* "the muffin man?"

And I'd love to know how one learns muffin smuggling routes though!

[emsquared]

Bewilderbeast wins.

Not really. Getting a bunch of people to respond to an obvious troll as if it was a legitimate attempt takes the cake (or muffin) by a long shot, IMO. Imitating said obvious troll? Not as impressive, again, IMO.

[Bewilderbeast]

Bewilderbeast wins.

Not really. Getting a bunch of people to respond to an obvious troll as if it was a legitimate attempt takes the cake (or muffin) by a long shot, IMO. Imitating said obvious troll? Not as impressive, again, IMO.

'
I will agree that the OP is the true genius here. Consider it an homage.

[UmaroVI]

Seriously suboptimal compared to an augmented adept/mystic adept muffin specialist.

[Shadowjack]

Indeed, this character was a joke. I just decided to whip up a fast character and see what people would say. Glad to see a few people had some laughs My primary motivation was to see if Umaro or emsquared would bite on this. However, I figured the chances were very low... but if I did somehow succeed I would been pretty happy about it Alas, when their posts finally came, it was clear that they did not fall for my ruse. Yes, it was obvious but if it wasn't, it wouldn't be as fun. So I decided to take a shot in the dark and see what happens

@Bewilderbeast, nice Muffin Man runner! Kind of reminds me of that evil baker on the Carebears from 20 years ago lol.

[Khepera]

So the gig is up. Part of me wanted to see this go on for some time.

[Padawan]

I believe you all missed the VERY important role this character fills.

If an old Keystone Cop/Three Stooges/Circus style run is planned, this character will be perfect because he can bake his own pies and then use his throwing weapons skill to throw them at others.

[emsquared]

My primary motivation was to see if Umaro or emsquared would bite on this. However, I figured the chances were very low... but if I did somehow succeed I would been pretty happy about it Alas, when their posts finally came, it was clear that they did not fall for my ruse. Yes, it was obvious but if it wasn't, it wouldn't be as fun.

I think you should be happy with results, the tell for me was that it was you Shadowjack, and I knew (or rather was pretty darn sure) you wouldn't put up that character for a genuine critique. Next time make a new account, I probably would have been like "What are you thinking!?"

[Shadowjack]

I might put one up for critique sometime but I usually don't because every time I make a new character I improve my understanding and technique Maybe I'll post my upcoming character when he's finished. About making a new account, I did consider it but it's not my style