Hehe, that's pretty funny about the battering ram. Hmm... My favorite item? That is really hard to say.
"Ultra-Glide Industrial Lubricant" seems pretty hilarious, though they left out one big issue with it... "...almost impossible to removed without specialized solvents..." So if it's on the ground and I slip in it and fall over, now it's all over me. How am I supposed to be able to walk at all with it all over the bottoms of my shoes and junk? Seems like, in reality, it'd be waaaaay more of an obstancle than just a once-and-done grease trap.
But, you know what? I'd say my favorite has got to be the HK XM30. It's a good gun, with an awesome looking illustration, and though it has unfortunately high Availability, I'd still totally buy it. Probably only ever make use of the LMG, Carbine, and Grenade Launcher forms though (which assumably use Automatics still). It does need a bit more clarification though. Like "does Sniper or Shotgun change its ranges" for one.
It also another example of a carbine that is startlingly accurate.