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Sort of Burnt Out Mage

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TheKT

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« on: <02-03-16/1635:13> »
Okay, I'm not great at chargen, and even less so at Mage chargen, so a burnt out mage should be no problem right.  Anyway, he's going to be a back-up character for a game that I'm in, so let me know what you think and if there's anything you recommend that I switch around.  Standard Karma generation.

Chummer file - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3Q3bae31Fl0cWFkU0NsZ3JlWU0/view?usp=sharing

PDF Character Sheet - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3Q3bae31Fl0Z1FlcDc5MTJtUFE/view?usp=sharing

Thanks guys and gals.

== Info ==
Street Name: Poterya
Name: Nathan Volkov
Movement: 8/16
Karma: 0
Street Cred: 0
Notoriety: 0
Public Awareness: 0
Human Male Age 28
Height 6'0" Weight 235 lbs.
Composure: 9
Judge Intentions: 10
Lift/Carry: 5 (30 kg/20 kg)
Memory: 10
Nuyen: 880

== Attributes ==
BOD: 3
AGI: 2 (4)
REA: 2 (4)
STR: 2
CHA: 4
INT: 5 (6)
LOG: 4 (5)
WIL: 5
EDG: 2
MAG: 4

== Derived Attributes ==
Essence:                   4.01
Initiative:                7 (10) + 3d6
Rigger Initiative:         10 + 3d6
Astral Initiative:         12 + 2d6
Matrix AR Initiative:      10 + 3d6
Matrix Cold Initiative:    6 + DP + 3d6
Matrix Hot Initiative:     6 + DP + 4d6
Physical Damage Track:     10
Stun Damage Track:         11

== Limits ==
Physical:                  4
Mental:                    7
Social:                    6
Astral:                    7

== Active Skills ==
Alchemy                    : 1                      Pool: 5
Animal Handling            : 0                      Pool: 3
Arcana                     : 1                      Pool: 8
Archery                    : 0                      Pool: 3
Armorer                    : 1                      Pool: 6
Artificing                 : 1                      Pool: 5
Assensing                  : 1                      Pool: 7
Automatics                 : 6 [Assault Rifles]     Pool: 12 (14)
Banishing                  : 1                      Pool: 5
Binding                    : 1                      Pool: 5
Biotechnology              : 1                      Pool: 6
Blades                     : 2                      Pool: 6
Clubs                      : 2                      Pool: 6
Computer                   : 1                      Pool: 6
Con                        : 1                      Pool: 5
Counterspelling            : 4                      Pool: 8
Cybercombat                : 0                      Pool: 4
Cybertechnology            : 1                      Pool: 6
Demolitions                : 0                      Pool: 4
Disenchanting              : 1                      Pool: 5
Disguise                   : 0                      Pool: 5
Diving                     : 0                      Pool: 2
Escape Artist              : 0                      Pool: 3
Etiquette                  : 1                      Pool: 5
First Aid                  : 1                      Pool: 6
Forgery                    : 0                      Pool: 4
Free-Fall                  : 0                      Pool: 2
Gunnery                    : 1                      Pool: 5
Gymnastics                 : 1                      Pool: 6
Hacking                    : 0                      Pool: 4
Hardware                   : 1                      Pool: 6
Heavy Weapons              : 1                      Pool: 5
Impersonation              : 0                      Pool: 3
Instruction                : 0                      Pool: 3
Intimidation               : 4 [Interrogation]      Pool: 8 (10)
Leadership                 : 1                      Pool: 5
Longarms                   : 1                      Pool: 5
Medicine                   : 1                      Pool: 6
Navigation                 : 1                      Pool: 7
Negotiation                : 1                      Pool: 5
Perception                 : 3                      Pool: 9
Performance                : 0                      Pool: 3
Pilot Ground Craft         : 2 [Wheeled]            Pool: 6 ( 8 )
Pilot Watercraft           : 0                      Pool: 3
Pistols                    : 1                      Pool: 5
Ritual Spellcasting        : 1                      Pool: 5
Running                    : 1                      Pool: 4
Sneaking                   : 2                      Pool: 6
Software                   : 1                      Pool: 6
Spellcasting               : 6 [Manipulation]       Pool: 10 (12)
Summoning                  : 1                      Pool: 5
Survival                   : 0                      Pool: 4
Swimming                   : 1                      Pool: 4
Throwing Weapons           : 1                      Pool: 5
Tracking                   : 0                      Pool: 5
Unarmed Combat             : 2                      Pool: 6

== Knowledge Skills ==
Combat Tactics             : 1                      Pool: 6
English                    : 3                      Pool: 9
Magic Traditions           : 1                      Pool: 6
Music                      : 1                      Pool: 7
Russian                    : N [Fenya]              Pool: 7 (9)
Sprawl Life                : 1                      Pool: 7
Street Drugs               : 1                      Pool: 7
Vory                       : 2                      Pool: 8

== Contacts ==
; Vory Shestiorka (2, 5)

== Qualities ==
Big Regret
Biocompatability (Bioware)
High Pain Tolerance (Rating 1)
Mentor Spirit (Oracle)
Mystic Adept
Paranoia
Pie Iesu Domine. Dona Eis Requiem.
SINner (Criminal) (Russia)

== Spells ==
(Tradition: Chaos Magic, Resist Drain with WIL + INT (11))
Armor                      DV: F-2
Chaotic World              DV: F
Heal                       DV: F-4
Improved Invisibility      DV: F-1
Levitate                   DV: F-2
Mana Barrier               DV: F-2
Physical Barrier           DV: F-1
Poltergeist                DV: F-2

== Powers ==
Astral Perception
Combat Sense Rating: 2
Improved Ability (skill) (Automatics) Rating: 1
Improved Reflexes 2

== Lifestyles ==
Medium  1 months

== Cyberware/Bioware ==
Bone Density Augmentation Rating 1
Cerebellum Booster Rating 1
Cerebral Booster Rating 1
Cybereyes Basic System Rating 3
   +Image Link
   +Flare Compensation
   +Smartlink
   +Low-Light Vision
   +Thermographic Vision
   +Vision Magnification
   +Vision Enhancement Rating 2
Datajack
Muscle Toner Rating 2
Orthoskin Rating 1
Reflex Recorder (Skill) (Automatics)
Sleep Regulator
Synthacardium Rating 1

== Armor ==
Armor Jacket                        12
   +Fire Resistance 4
   +Nonconductivity 4
   +Concealable Holster
Helmet                              2
   +Biomonitor
   +Gas Mask
   +Micro-Transceiver
   +White Noise Generator Rating 6

== Weapons ==
AK-97
   Pool: 12 (14)   Accuracy: 5   DV: 10P   AP: -2   RC: 2
Ares Alpha
   +Gas-Vent 3 System
   +Personalized Grip
   +Shock Pad
   +Sling
   +Smartgun System, Internal
   +Spare Clip
   +Weapon Personality
   Pool: 12 (14)   Accuracy: 8   DV: 11P   AP: -2   RC: 8
Ares Predator V
   +Silencer
   +Smartgun System, Internal
   Pool: 5   Accuracy: 7   DV: 8P   AP: -1   RC: 2
Grenade: Fragmentation (Aerodynamic)
   Pool: 5   Accuracy: 4   DV: 18P(f) (-1/m)   AP: +5   RC: 2
Minigrenade: High Explosive
   Pool: 5   Accuracy: 0   DV: 16P (-2/m)   AP: -2   RC: 2
Savalette Guardian
   +Gas-Vent 3 System
   +Smartgun System, Internal
   +Spare Clip
   Pool: 5   Accuracy: 7   DV: 8P   AP: -1   RC: 6
Unarmed Attack
   Pool: 6   Accuracy: 4   DV: 2P   AP: -   RC: 2

== Commlink ==
Common Denominator Element (ATT: 0, SLZ: 0, DP: 2, FWL: 2)
Renraku Aguchi (ATT: 0, SLZ: 0, DP: 1, FWL: 1)
Sony Angel (ATT: 0, SLZ: 0, DP: 1, FWL: 1)
Transys Avalon (ATT: 0, SLZ: 0, DP: 6, FWL: 6)
   +Mapsoft
   +Tutorsoft (Automatics) Rating 6

== Gear ==
Ammo: APDS (Assault Rifles) x150
Ammo: APDS (Heavy Pistols) x60
Ammo: Regular Ammo (Assault Rifles) x420
Ammo: Regular Ammo (Heavy Pistols) x300
Ammo: Stick-n-Shock (Assault Rifles) x50
Ammo: Stick-n-Shock (Heavy Pistols) x30
Army Surplus Duffle Bag
Bug Scanner Rating 6
Certified Credstick, Standard x25
Cram x10
DocWagon Contract, Basic
Earbuds Rating 3
   +Select Sound Filter Rating 2
   +Audio Enhancement Rating 1
Fake SIN (Bill Withers) Rating 4
   +Fake License (Automatic Weapons License) Rating 4
   +Fake License (Concealed Carry Permit) Rating 4
   +Fake License (Driver's License) Rating 4
   +Fake License (Mage License) Rating 4
   +Fake License (Restricted Bioware License) Rating 4
Fake SIN (Glen Frey) Rating 2
Fake SIN (Tony Iommi) Rating 1
Flashlight, Infrared
Grenade: Fragmentation (Aerodynamic) x6
Magical Lodge Materials Rating 6
Minigrenade: High Explosive x6
Psyche x5
Reagents, per dram x100
Restraint, Plastic x50
Subvocal Mic
Trid Projector

== Vehicles ==
Honda Artemis (Car)
   +Sensor Array Rating 2

== Description ==
Poterya is an average sized human male. He has medium length black hair and his eyes are pure chrome. He is usually seen wearing a long black trench coat. He is constantly looking over his shoulder and never stays in the same place for too long

== Background ==
Nathan (or Natan in his native tounge) was born on November 2, 2047 in Vyshny Volochyok, Russia. He was a utterly average child, he was the middle child out of seven, and he still isn't sure that his mother could pick him out of a line-up. He did fine in his studies, but again, no one seemed to even notice him. However, things all changed when he "awoke" at the age of 15. People started noticing him, it was mostly the wrong kind of people, but Natan didn't care, they acknowledged that he was there, and to a lonely teenager that was enough. He started running with a street gang, boosting electronics, pedling drugs and general hooliganism. He got busted knocking over a Stuffer Shack and wound up serving 2 years of a 5 year sentence.

While he was in the joint he attracted the attention of the local Vory sindicate, they told him what he needed to hear, they would take care of him and they could arrange for him to learn about these awesome gifts that he had, the street gang was just using him, they were going to let him rot in jail after all, not like the "Family", they'd have him out in no time. So he jumped ship and started working for the Vory. They got him out of the slammer and did treat him well, as long as he did what he was told and didn't ask any questions. They even got him some magical training, Gregori, Natan's "instructor", was batdrek crazy, but he knew his mojo, he taught Natan a few spells and about how to take all the insanity that the sixth world could whip up and mold and shape it into his spells. "Ditya", as the Bratva had taken to calling him, was good at what he did, he could throw lightning bolts and flame throwers with the best of them. He was put on a special hit squad that would take care of "problems" the brotherhood had, and he loved it. Breaking someones kneecaps sent a message, but the message was heard all the more clearly when the guy breaking them did it from across the street, without breaking a sweat. He stayed busy with the enforcers until he was 25, when a few members, including Ditya were asked (read told) to travel to New York to secure the Vory influence in the area.

The crew picked right back up where they left off in Mother Russia, knocking some Mafia operations down a peg and reigning in some of the more obstinate opposition to the Vory's protection services. Natan even got a bit of work done, he wouldn't be average anymore, he was smarter, stronger, and faster now with his new body and he made sure everyone saw it. However, their victories were short lived, the Mafia had it's own goons and they had their own mojo man. There were a few skirmishes at first, with neither side getting the upper hand, but as these things often do, it came down to one night with one group in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Bratva were hunkered down in a small neighborhood just outside of the Barrens and they thought they were relatively safe for the time being. A few of the brothers were playing cards and doing a bit of drinking, Ditya had drawn the first watch of the evening and settled into his spot a top the church tower. It was a pretty quiet evening, even the constant gunfire from the Barrens seemed to be relenting. Then he saw them, they were approaching from the east, roughly 10 or 12 of them came out from behind an abandoned factory, when Ditya turned around to yell to his team it hit him. It was almost like he had no control of his own body, he wanted to yell to his brothers to grab their weapons and get ready for a fight, but what came out was not a warning but a fireball. He fried his team, his friends, his brothers... Their screams still keep him up at night. After Natan pulled free of the spells influence it was too late, they were already dead. It was all a blur after that. He gets flashes at night sometimes, the power that came out of him that day almost killed him, but he was able to get about half of those svolochi before he blacked out.

When he came to about 18 hours later, the place looked like it had been bombed. Buildings lay crumbled to dust, cars were nothing more than smoking craters. He somehow survived the collapse of the church that his group had been holed up in, but none of his team could say the same. How could they, he had killed them before the mat' lokhi even had the chance. He was lost, "Poterya" and had no idea what to do next. He couldn't go back to the Vory, they would know what he had done, and would put him in the ground for it. He was a stranger in a strange land. So he burned the few favors he had left and gathered as much nuyen as he could and headed for Chicago.

Now he's constantly looking over his shoulder, just waiting for the Vory, or the Mafia, or der'mo even the ghosts of his brothers to be there ready to make him pay. Growing up, he had always wanted people to notice him, now he wished he could disappear again.

If you check the chummer sheet you will see that I am over by 1 karma, however chummer won't let me pick a native language, so it's charging me that extra karma point
« Last Edit: <02-08-16/2049:23> by TheKT »

TheKT

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« Reply #1 on: <02-03-16/2137:47> »
Is everyone able to see the sheet?  Would it be better if I transcribed everything into the post?

FST_Gemstar

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« Reply #2 on: <02-04-16/0222:22> »
Backstory is sad... but I like it.  I'm not sure of your creation method, but that would help clarify the rest of this.

Red flags for me:
High In Debt value. In Deby 6 is like owing 4.5k a month of just interest, before you actually pay down your actual loan. It's a lot of money to owe, and I'm not sure you are getting enough value out of your 'ware to justify it.

Burnout Way/'ware: I don't think you are burning out enough to make this worthwhile. You can still be a cybered mystic adept without this quality, but you it will free up some karma for you. I bet if you take Bioware Compatibility, even for standard 'ware, you can probably get almost every piece of 'ware you have and still be over 4.0 essence.  I would also question some of the 'ware choices.Like, why the high logic investment, including the logic 'ware? You don't have any Logic linked skill areas, don't use Logic for Drain. I might drop the cerebral boosters, as I'm not sure what they are getting you besides a higher mental/astral limit (which I'm not sure you need with a lower Magic rating). A Cerebellum Booster would do more for the character in my opinion (Drain, (Astral) Perception, Defense, Initiative, etc), and would still be cheaper. Or if you'll have some extra money and  karma about if you drop Burnout Way and the Cerebral Boosters, maybe look into some Foci ideas.

Maybe shift some investment into Charisma? I know the character is a loner, but Charisma is also used to successfully keep people away from you (intimidation/con, etc.).  It will also give you a bound spirit limit upgrade, helping you call on more help if needed.

Skills are a little scattered too. It's tempting to spread out those skill groups, but you may miss out on a whole other specialty for your arsenal. I would be partial to Conjuring or Stealth for this character.

Adept Powers/Spells:
Combat Sense would probably do you more than Improved Automatics in the long run... As for spells, they seem on the support end. That's ok. Is there another mage in the group? If not, you may want to diversify a bit as your team might be appreciative of a wider ranger of spells (magical attacks, heal, etc.).

I might play with priority selections to try to balance what you're going for. If you don't need so many skills (as indicated by the spread out skill groups), maybe you could get more resources so you can afford 'ware without all of that in debt.


Hope this helps!
« Last Edit: <02-04-16/0238:37> by FST_Gemstar »

ZeldaBravo

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« Reply #3 on: <02-04-16/0228:58> »
If you use Chummer do print -> text only.
Copy and paste the text.
*I have problems with clarifying my point in English, so sometimes I might sound stupid or rude.*

Strange

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« Reply #4 on: <02-04-16/0344:45> »
I would also suggest combat sense with that .5, it allows you to always get a perception roll for surprise no matter what.  Second, put the guy on a diet.  His weight definitely doesn't match the picture.

TheKT

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« Reply #5 on: <02-04-16/1433:04> »
Well he does have rating 2 bone density augmentation, so I figured he would be a little heftier than his shape would show.   And I'll post the text file when I get home.

Whiskeyjack

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« Reply #6 on: <02-04-16/1604:42> »
  Would it be better if I transcribed everything into the post?
IMO yes.
Playability > verisimilitude.

Pap Renvela

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« Reply #7 on: <02-05-16/1820:13> »
  Would it be better if I transcribed everything into the post?
IMO yes.

No, no, no- don't listen to Whiskeyjack...
he's absolutely right on this.

TheKT

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« Reply #8 on: <02-08-16/1738:44> »
Okay, I've got the original post edited with the text file.  Sorry it took so long, chrome wouldn't let me access the site for about a week.  I built him using the standard karma character generation, so 800 karma. 

Let me know what you guys think. Thanks. 

ZeldaBravo

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« Reply #9 on: <02-08-16/1829:39> »
I like that you have so many skills, but at the same time I cannot say that your character looks like a ex-convict and Vory enforcer. Maybe get a little more Intimidate and a couple of points in Unarmed? Etiquette (Vory) and Language Dialect (Fenya) are pretty important too.

A few things regarding the backstory:
- Nathan reads "Natan", not "Nafan".
- "Poteryal" is a verb, not a noun. It can be used as a street name but Russian verb nicknames are usually associated with notable quirks of behaviour. "Poteryal" can be roughly translated as "I lost [something]". I suggest "Poterya" (literally "a lost thing"), which when it is used as a nickname can mean both "The lost one", and "The one who lost [something]". If self-claimed, it also hints that the person feels regret, remorse, or guilt for something they have lost or for being lost. And it also sounds very Vory-like.

Cheers!
*I have problems with clarifying my point in English, so sometimes I might sound stupid or rude.*

TheKT

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« Reply #10 on: <02-08-16/1846:40> »
A few things regarding the backstory:
- Nathan reads "Natan", not "Nafan".
- "Poteryal" is a verb, not a noun. It can be used as a street name but Russian verb nicknames are usually associated with notable quirks of behaviour. "Poteryal" can be roughly translated as "I lost [something]". I suggest "Poterya" (literally "a lost thing"), which when it is used as a nickname can mean both "The lost one", and "The one who lost [something]". If self-claimed, it also hints that the person feels regret, remorse, or guilt for something they have lost or for being lost. And it also sounds very Vory-like.

Cheers!

I am not very well versed in the Russian language so I was using google translate, thank you for the advice, I will definitly change the name, as that is what I was going for.  And I'll try and move some skills around too.  Thank you very much.

TheKT

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« Reply #11 on: <02-08-16/2043:38> »
Okay guys, I tried to take all of your advice as best I could.  I dropped "burnouts way" which made me have to lower my orthoskin, bone density, and cerebral booster down to rating 1.  But, it did free up space for a few more augments and I was able to raise my charisma and a few of my skills.  I also replaced In Debt IV with Big Regret and I added the oracle mentor spirit to get the free astral perception, so that allowed me to pick up Combat Sense 2. 

Thanks all.