[JmOz01]

I was looking on an art thread on the forums, my daughter saw a pic she liked and asked me to write it up, so I did.  It is of an ork, dressed like strawberry shortcake, with a gun.  This is what I came up with (btw 20 dice pool on the assualt gun is insane.

Her ritual is actualy a cross between a ritual/talisman, as she needs to paint her gun every day.  While it is easier to replace than a normal talisman, she also has to do the work every day.  Most days it just needs 15-30 minutes of touch up, but if she looses it it will take a couple hours with a new gun to do take care of it. 

Tell me how I did, as I am new and learning the system

Shortcakes (Ork Adept)
B 5, A 5/6, R 5/7, S 4, C 3, I 5, L 3, W 3, E 1, Ess 6, M 5, Init 10/12, IP 1/3
Condition Monitor boxes (Physical/Stun): 11/10
Novatech Airwave Commlink Condition Monitor: 10
Armor (Ballistic/Impact): 9/5
Skills: Armorer 5 (Firearms +2), Athletics Group 1, Automatics 10 (Assault Rifles +2), Close Combat Group 1, Dodge 4 (Ranged Combat +2), Influence Group 1, Perception 4, Pistols 1, Stealth Group 1
Knowledge Skills: Cartoons 2, English N, Fiream Design 5, Japanese 3, Spanish 3, Way of the Gun 5
Metatype Abilities: Enhanced Senses: Low-Light Vision
Qualities: Adept, Aptitude: Automatics, Distinctive Style (1): See Pic, Enemy, Geas: Ritual: Must paint weapon, Hawk Eye, Incompetent: Hacking, Records on File: Ares, Sensei: Armorer, Firearms Group
Adept Powers: Improved Ability (1): Armorer, Improved Ability (3): Automatics, Improved Physical Attribute (1): Agility, Improved Reflexes (2)
Gear:
. . AR Gloves
. . Armor Clothing
. . Certified Credstick
. . Cindy Lu with Fake License: Ares Predator IV, Fake SIN, Low Lifestyle
. . Concealable Holster
. . Contact Lenses (3) with Flare Compensation, Image Link, Smartlink
. . Dodge Scoot
. . Medkit (5)
. . Novatech Airwave Commlink with Analyze (3), Basic+ Suite, Browse (3), Command (1), Edit (3), Iris Orb Operating System
. . Paints x5
. . Tool Kit, Armorer
. . Tranquilizer Patch (5) x5
. . Trauma Patch x2
Weapons:
. . Ares HVAR [Assault Rifles, DV 6P vs. B, SA/BF/BF-Lx2/FA(12), RC 4, 50 (c)] with Explosive Rounds x150, Firewall (1), Gel Rounds x50, Rigid Stock, Shock Pad, Sling, Smartgun System, Internal, Spare Clips
. . Ares Predator IV [Pistols, DV 6P vs. B-1, SA, 15 (c)] with Explosive Rounds x15, Firewall (1), Smartgun System, Internal
. . Attack of Will (vs. Spirits) [DV 3P vs. I]
. . Survival Knife [Blades, DV 3P vs. I-1]
. . Unarmed Strike [Unarmed, DV 2S vs. I]
. . Flash-Bang Grenade x2 [Grenades, DV 6S, 10m R vs. I-3]

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For some reason contacts do not show up, she has 3, a fixer, an armorer, and a adept (her sensei)

[All4BigGuns]

Looks like a good character to me. I also applaud you for not putting implants into an adept.  The only thing I'd really change would be getting rid of the Aptitude quality, but I've never really thought it was worth it for the most part. That could free up some quality points for one of the Way of the Adept qualities for ya.

[Black]

Does help give him a dice pool of at least 18 with assault rifles though... wow! 

Could someone please post the pic this is based on?  I just want to see it and think, sure she looks cute for an orc, but whoa, don't frag her off...

[Snaryl]

I second the request for a link to the picture you based this on!

[Zephraim]

I'm guessing he's talking about this one.

http://tacticalhamster.deviantart.com/art/Shortcake-262957239

[JmOz01]

yes that is the pic, and I take a sense of amusment of her having a 20 die pool for her main gun (Smart link gets her there...)

[Black]

And then she aims, 21DP.... point blank, +2 - 23DP. 

with a tight burst for extra damage because we know she's going to hit.

Take That Troll Tank!

[Glorthoron]

400 BP?

[JmOz01]

yes

[Glorthoron]

Crazy

[Ethan]

I don't know how to feel just now. I do believe I'll copy this particular gun bunny, if you don't mind. The fun thing about this is she's still not wholly pigeonholed into the shooting role.

[JmOz01]

Be my guest, I would sugest that you play with her gear a bit, carring a Predator was not the best choice, but otherwise I found it to be an interesting learning experience (Still very new to making characters), and to know others would be using her is an honor to me.

[Glorthoron]

One problem I see with this character (and this is really only meant to be constructive criticism, not destructive . . . . even though it probably sounds like destructive):  She's invested so much into one skill that she seem's pretty useless outside a combat setting where she can use assault rifles.

Also, how did you manage an armour of 9/5?

If I am reading this right, you've combined the armour clothing directly with your body to get these numbers, which would be deceiving because if someone hit you with a -4 Armour Penetration weapon, your total dice to resist damage from ballistic weapons would go down to 1, and Armour Penetration should only reduce armour, not Body. . . . . hope that helps.

[Ethan]

For optimization purposes, I'd drop the Pistols skill altogether and the Influence group. Give her 2 points in Etiquette so she's not a complete anti-social person.

The Predator can stay, even if it's just a showpiece. But then you can apply your Automatics skill by using some machine pistols, like the Ares Crusader or the B&P MP9.

But overall, I like it very much.

[JmOz01]

One problem I see with this character (and this is really only meant to be constructive criticism, not destructive . . . . even though it probably sounds like destructive):  She's invested so much into one skill that she seem's pretty useless outside a combat setting where she can use assault rifles.

Also, how did you manage an armour of 9/5?

If I am reading this right, you've combined the armour clothing directly with your body to get these numbers, which would be deceiving because if someone hit you with a -4 Armour Penetration weapon, your total dice to resist damage from ballistic weapons would go down to 1, and Armour Penetration should only reduce armour, not Body. . . . . hope that helps.

I realised she is a one trick poney,  However moderate stats and a bit of other skills should help her out.  Having said that, yah, definatly a one trick poney, for team play and a player who wants to excel in combat and willing to behave while we investigate.  In a campeign she would be a character who would be best served by expanding horizontaly instead of verticaly (Becoming more rounded)

As for the armor, I would assume that is what the program is doing, not sure, but would say that it is...