[Lonewheels]

Hello people,
I am new hear and not a native english speaker

I am building a new character.

He is new to seatle and looking for his sibling that dissappeared in seattle.
the shadowrunning he does is for finding his sibling or getting money.
for the character  i use a modified NAM soldiier pack

body 4
agility 4
reaction 4
strength 3
charisms 3
intuition 3
logic 3
wiilpower 4
edge 4

long range NAM Soldier kit 3 bp
 
Camouflage suit  4700
 Insulation rating 6
 Thermal dampening 2
 Fire resistance 6
 Chemical protection 4

Weapons
Survival Knife
Tomahawk
Garrote
   Ruger superhawk
   5 speed loaders
   Quik draw holster
   Ak-97
      Imaging scope
    Low light vision
   10 spare clips

30 regular  ammo heavy pistol
380 regular  ammo assault rifle


Gear
Backpack
Sleeping bag
Survival gear
Climbing gear
Rappeling gloves
200m standard rope
Medikit rating 6
3 smoke grenades
3 high explosive grenades
12 meter detonation cord
Grapple gun
28  rations (1 month
15 water purefying tablets (1 tube for  me)
 Mosltov
 Respirator rating 6
 5 trauma patches
5 antidote patches (choice) seven-7 is main
Wire clippers
Chisel
Tag  eraser

for skills 160
3 athletics skill group 30
2 electronics skill group 20
2 outdoors skill group 20
1 armorer 4
3 automatics 12
3 blades 12
1 dodge 4
1 escape artist  4
2 ettiquette +2 (militairy)   6
1 exotic melee skill (garottte) +2 6   
2 first aid 8
2 infilttraitom 8
2 perception 8
3 pistols 12
2 throwing weapoms 8
3 unarmed combat 12

Knowledges not  yet 18 of 18


10 bp for gear including kit

no qualities  thinking  about it

10 bp remain
thinking about con and negation

currently no cyber and biowear at start

[emsquared]

I'm not sure what you want from us here, are you asking for a true character critique (i.e. how "good" is my character)?

Because you're going to get two very different sets of input depending on what you want from us. If you are asking us how to make your character better, the answer is going to be basically; start over, pick two maybe three things you want to be good at (2 or 3 things that are central to your concept) and then build your attributes and skill-set around those 2 or 3 purposes. If you are asking us... I don't know ... I don't know what else we could really offer you, because it seems like you're building a highly concept-driven, "average Joe", for a specialized campaign, focusing on someone who is poorly prepared for being thrust into the shadows, in which case I don't know that we are in any position to give you input - just do what your concept requires.

And I'm sorry if this sounds mean, I'm not trying to be mean, it's just true, none of your dice pools are more than what my runners would expect to see in the average beat-cop or ganger. So, we just need to know what you really want from us.

One bit of advice that will apply either way is, take the 35 BP you can get from Neg Qualities. Something that would seem to fit your concept would be "Big Regret", have it be related to why your brother is missing maybe, and/or "Vendetta", for the same reason. Neg Qualities are great for flavor as well as getting more BP. Just find things that you can see in your character.

[Ghoulfodder]

Speak to your GM find out what the general power level of their game is going to be.

If they expect characters (and the rest of the group fit in with this) with dice pools of 18 for the key areas of expertise, 10 for secondary, then your character is sadly worthless and I can't see you having any fun. If the level is 12-15 for specialism and 6-9 for secondary, then with a fair amount of tweaking you can probably be ok. If it's 7-10 primary and 3-6 secondary (although this seems very low to me and I'm not particularly into big dice pools) then you're away with a pretty solid all-rounder.

Personally, I'd go for a power leve of about 12-15 and 6-9 for dice pools. I'd try to keep my number of skills down to no more than about 6 or 7 (and I like to cover all my bases), or a few higher if you're using the some of the themed groups.

I don't think your attrubutes are that bad, although you might want to look at boosting at least Agility. Unless its specifically against concept I'd use some cyber / bioware to beef you up.

Not gone through it with a fine toothcomb as any advice people can give you completely depends on how your GM is going to be running the game.

As emsquared has said though, the basic advice is you are spread too thin.

[All4BigGuns]

I will say this, I suggest dropping that Edge to 1 (if metahuman) or 2 (if human) and putting those points into Bod and Will. Going to a 5 in those will get you another condition box in both physical and stun. Alternatively, you could drop Edge and reduce Will to a 3 (same Stun boxes) to get a 5 Bod, 5 Agi and have points left to put into Intuition.

Edge is a very mixed bag, unless your GM refreshes it every session (not every Run) or even more often, then it is completely worthless.

[Lonewheels]

thanks for the advice

[Lonewheels]

Thanks for al the advice  I have a rebuild including augmentation
have 460 NY left
Changes metatype elf to human
 

Backstory Martin Robertson
Born to two wagemages at Ares, He is the eldest of a pair of twins.
his younger twin dissapeared after the crash, (the family was fleeing the corp housing)
he is the dissapointment of the twins not being magical.
In a attempt for parental approval he joined ARES Security.
first station Africa warzone security.
here he met a fellow outcast a Troll by the name of John .
In one of the figthing zone they saved the life of a Johnson.
After this Martin and John got a job as bodyguards for the johnson,
After their tour in Africa both security men where  downsized.
Martin is know back in Seattle and looking for work and his sister
he has a feeling she is not dead and hired a private investigator to find her.





== Attributes ==
BOD: 5
AGI: 5 (7)
REA: 3
STR: 3 (5)
CHA: 4
INT: 3
LOG: 3
WIL: 5
EDG: 1

== Derived Attributes ==
Essence: 4,95
Initiative: 6
IP: 1
Matrix Initiative: 6
Matrix IP: 2
Physical Damage Track: 11
Stun Damage Track: 11

== Active Skills ==
Animal Handling : 0 Pool: 2
Animal Training : 0 Pool: 2
Archery : 0 Pool: 6
Armorer : 2 Pool: 5
Artisan : 0 Pool: 2
Automatics : 4 [Assault Rifles] Pool: 11 (13)
Blades : 0 Pool: 6
Climbing : 1 Pool: 7
Clubs : 0 Pool: 6
Computer : 2 Pool: 5
Con : 2 Pool: 6
Cybercombat : 0 Pool: 2
Data Search : 2 Pool: 5
Demolitions : 0 Pool: 2
Disguise : 2 Pool: 5
Diving : 0 Pool: 4
Dodge : 0 Pool: 2
Electronic Warfare : 1 [Jamming] Pool: 4 (6)
Escape Artist : 0 Pool: 6
Etiquette : 2 Pool: 6
First Aid : 0 Pool: 2
Flight : 1 Pool: 7
Forgery : 0 Pool: 6
Gunnery : 0 Pool: 6
Gymnastics : 1 Pool: 9
Hacking : 0 Pool: 2
Hardware : 2 Pool: 5
Heavy Weapons : 0 Pool: 6
Infiltration : 2 Pool: 9
Instruction : 0 Pool: 3
Intimidation : 3 Pool: 7
Leadership : 2 Pool: 6
Locksmith : 0 Pool: 6
Longarms : 0 Pool: 6
Navigation : 0 Pool: 2
Negotiation : 2 Pool: 6
Palming : 2 Pool: 9
Parachuting : 0 Pool: 4
Perception : 3 [Visual] Pool: 6 (
Pilot Ground Craft : 2 Pool: 5
Pilot Watercraft : 0 Pool: 2
Pistols : 2 [Semi-Automatics] Pool: 9 (11)
Riding : 0 Pool: 2
Running : 1 Pool: 7
Shadowing : 2 Pool: 5
Software : 2 Pool: 5
Survival : 0 Pool: 4
Swimming : 1 Pool: 7
Throwing Weapons : 2 Pool: 9
Tracking : 0 Pool: 2
Unarmed Combat : 2 Pool: 9

== Knowledge Skills ==
Afrikaans : 1 Pool: 4
Area Knowledge: Seattle : 1 Pool: 4
Ares : 2 Pool: 5
Combat Tactics : 3 Pool: 6
English : N Pool: 0
Firearms : 2 Pool: 5
Gangs : 1 Pool: 4
Literature : 2 Pool: 5
Magical Theory : 1 Pool: 4
Security Tactics : 3 Pool: 6
Sports : 2 Pool: 5

== Contacts ==
Arms dealer (3, 1)
Fixer (2, 1)
Johnson (3, 5)
private investiigator (2, 1)
Troll Mercenary John (2, 5)

== Qualities ==
Addiction (Mild) (Alcohol)
Big Regret
Gremlins (Rating 1)
Low-Light Vision (elf)
Prejudiced (Specific, Biased) (Mages)
Records on File (ARES)
SINner (Standard) (ARES)

== Lifestyles ==
room above drinking hole 4 months
Comforts: Low
Entertainment: Squatter
Necessities: Low
Neighborhood: Squatter
Security: Low
Qualities: Commercial Zone [1LP]
Homegrown Farming [1LP]
Donut Shop (Rating 1) [-2LP]
Loud Neighborhood [-1LP]
Network Bottleneck [-1LP]
Trigger-Happy Landlord [-1LP]

== Cyberware/Bioware ==
Muscle Augmentation Rating 2
Muscle Toner Rating 2
Sleep Regulator
Synthacardium Rating 1

== Armor ==
Form-Fitting Full-Body Suit6/2
+Fire Resistance 4
+Insulation 4
+Thermal Damping 2
Lined Coat 6/4
+Chemical Protection 4
+Fire Resistance 4
+Insulation 4

== Weapons ==
Ares HVAR
+Advanced Safety System
+Shock Pad
+Spare Clips
+Spare Clips
+Spare Clips
+Stock
+Personalized Grip
+Skinlink
+Smartgun System
Pool: 13 (15) DV: 5P AP: - RC: 4
Ares Predator IV
+Silencer
+Spare Clips
+Spare Clips
+Spare Clips
+Personalized Grip
+Skinlink
+Smartgun System
Pool: 11 (13) DV: 5P AP: -1 RC: 1
Shock Glove
Pool: 9 DV: 5S(e) AP: -half RC: 0
Unarmed Attack
Pool: 9 DV: 3S AP: - RC: 0

== Commlink ==
CMT Clip (1, 1, 1, 3)
+Vector Xim
Novatech Airware (3, 3, 3, 3)
+AR Gloves
+Simrig
+Subvocal Microphone
+Simrig
+Iris Orb
+Suite: Pro User [Analyze 4, Browse 4, Command 2, Datasoft 3 (seattle), Edit 4]

== Gear ==
Ammo: Regular Ammo (Assault Rifles) x400
Ammo: Subsonic Rounds (Heavy Pistols) x120
Backpack
+MOSLTOV
+Medkit Rating 6
+Autopicker Rating 6
+Wire Clippers
+Chisel
+Tag Eraser
+White Noise Generator Rating 6
+Jammer, Area Rating 4
+Plastic Restraints 50
+Professional Camera
+Laser Microphone Rating 6
+Rappelling Gloves
Contact Lenses Rating 3
+Flare Compensation
+Smartlink
+Thermographic
+Vision Enhancement Rating 3
+Vision Magnification
+Skinlink
Earbuds Rating 3
+Audio Enhancement Rating 3
+Spatial Recognizer
+Skinlink
Fake SIN (Martin Johnson) Rating 4
+Fake License (Bodyguard) Rating 4
+Fake License (bioware) Rating 4
+Fake License (Firearms permit) Rating 4
+Fake License (concealed carry) Rating 4
+Fake License (Drivers license) Rating 4

== Vehicles ==
Indian Pathfinder (Racing Bike)
+Vehicle Sensor

For know:
did i miss/make any gear mistake
stats skills are they balanced and not to spread

[Prodigy]

Are you Prejudiced against Corp mages? If so, I guess he hates his parents? Also why have Sub-Sonic ammo with no silencer for your pistol? Lastly drop Low Light vision as a 5pt quality. There is a ridiculous amount of cheap gear that does that.

[Lonewheels]

Do you mean sound suppressor?

Ares Predator IV
+Silencer
+Spare Clips
+Spare Clips
+Spare Clips
+Personalized Grip
+Skinlink
+Smartgun System

low light is elf quality

changed to general dislike for mages
Mostly his parents but met also some other mages just a general dislike for mages

[emsquared]

So, are you playing a 1-player campaign? I ask, because it looks like you're trying to do everything. If you are playing in a 1-man campaign then ignore everything below. But if you are not, if you are playing in a group with other people, allow them to fill roles that deserve dedicated players and allow yourself to RP trusting them (or trying/pretending to).

What happens with a 400BP build when you're trying to do everything is that you're not actually good at anything. You're Automatics pool is now passable, but you have an abysmal REA and only 1 Initiative Pass. It appears that your main function is "combatant", as such you (in my humble opinion) you NEED at least 2 IPs and should have 3. You're still spread too thin on your skills, you're trying to be a Street Sam/Face/B&E Infiltrator/Computer-Guy and you're crappy at all of those roles.

Personal recommendations, in general, you're an Elf, so you're primed for the Combatant/Face/Infiltrator role. Therefore, cut back on non-AGI/CHA skills (i.e. LOG skills), and emphasize your AGI and CHA skills.

Specific Recommendations:
1.) drop the Electronics skill group, all you need from it for B&E is Hardware. So focus on that, this should be your only LOG skill, which you should have at 4.
2.) drop Armorer completely, you're not good at it and you can outsource this stuff (to contacts or stores) easily, or maybe you have someone with a dedicated LOG skill-set in your group who should have it anyway (like a Rigger)?
3.) drop Electronic Warfare (Jamming), you're not functional at it, and maybe your group has an actual Hacker?
4.) put your favorite skill at 6 (Automatics?). This is pretty much purely for BP efficiency (4 BP is a cheap skill 6) i.e. it's the smart thing to do, but also, you should probably be this good at something so your Johnson's have a reason to employ you.
5.) decide which is more important to you, the Stealth Group or the Influence Group, raise the more important one to 4 by dropping the other to 1 (or by picking the most important single skill out of the less important skill group, and raise it to 4).
6.) drop Pistols and use those BP to bump Intimidate and Perception both to 4. Pistols is just redundant for your combatant role.
7.) drop Pilot Ground Craft to 1, once you get some initiative boosting 'ware, you're REA should be good enough that 1 Rank will make you a Formula 1 talent.
8.) drop Throwing Weapons to 1, you're AGI will carry you there until you can spend Karma on it
9.) use the BP from Ground Craft and Throwing to bump Unarmed up to 4, this will make you capable of at least defending yourself competently if a razor-boy/girl comes at you.
10.) personally, I'd eliminate the Athletics group and drop those points into Gymnastics, because Gymnastics can be used for full-defense and there's 'ware and gear to make you a good Climber/Swimmer/Runner.
11.) in my humble opinion, it's better to have a few solid, diverse contacts then a bunch of poor, redundant contacts. Case in point, Fixer and Arms Dealer, combine those two contacts. Again, assuming you have other players in your group, let them get some contacts too. Drop ether the Troll Merc or P.I. and make 1 solid contact and maybe 4 BP for a skill or 5 BP for a martial art, maybe, or use the BP for Y for improving your initiative situation.

None of these recommendations will decrease your capacity to RP your character, you're only losing a skill-set that you were only good enough with to be dangerous to yourself and your group while using, and they will only make you a more functional member of a cohesive group - and probably therefore more fun to play.

[emsquared]

Just noticed your armor could use some work. I would go: (Encumbrance Values listed)
FFFBA                      3/1
Bike Racing Armor    4/7 (it's discreet but good)
Ballistic Mask            2/1
PPP Vitals Protector 1/1

Although the Ballistic Mask is from WAR! so if you can't use that book:
FFFBA                                       3/1
Urban Explorer Jumpsuit            6/6
A "1/2" Helmet (there's several) 1/2
PPP Shin Guards                       0/1

[All4BigGuns]

Actually, not being a hacker, you don't really need any programs other than Analyze and Encrypt. With Encrypt the Electronic Warfare skill is pretty darn good, just switch the specialty in it to encryption. This way you can do your own 'strong encryption, 1 day interval' which should make it nigh impossible for you to be feasibly hacked.

If you go this route, make both programs rating 6 with the Ergonomic and Optimization (difference between your System and 6) program options. Maybe pick up a rating 5 Response module so that you can upgrade your System and Firewall to 5 (Firewall may not be limited by System, but it damn sure should be limited by Response like the other is).

[Lonewheels]

Not a one player campaign
main build should be former security with minor face , shadowing infiltration (good security is unseen)

falling in old habbits spreading to thin.
Gear is also a problem  I might need that and that   (always be prepared)

Armor is a good thing mentioned
Might switch automatics to machine pistols or submachine guns
E. Warfare might be an idea secure communications is always good

thanks for the imput again

[Prodigy]

My bad. Didn't see silencer. It says changes metatype elf to human. No more low light vision for free.

[All4BigGuns]

Might I suggest that if you post a third version you remove all the skills that are at rank 0 from the list? It makes it much easier to read.

[Ghoulfodder]

== Attributes ==
BOD: 5
AGI: 5 (7)
REA: 3
STR: 3 (5)
CHA: 4
INT: 3
LOG: 3
WIL: 5
EDG: 1

== Derived Attributes ==
Essence: 4,95
Initiative: 6
IP: 1
Matrix Initiative: 6
Matrix IP: 2
Physical Damage Track: 11
Stun Damage Track: 11

== Active Skills ==
Armorer : 2 Pool: 5
Automatics : 4 [Assault Rifles] Pool: 11 (13)
Climbing : 1 Pool: 7
Computer : 2 Pool: 5
Con : 2 Pool: 6
Data Search : 2 Pool: 5
Disguise : 2 Pool: 5
Electronic Warfare : 1 [Jamming] Pool: 4 (6)
Etiquette : 2 Pool: 6
Flight : 1 Pool: 7
Gymnastics : 1 Pool: 9
Hardware : 2 Pool: 5
Infiltration : 2 Pool: 9
Intimidation : 3 Pool: 7
Leadership : 2 Pool: 6
Negotiation : 2 Pool: 6
Palming : 2 Pool: 9
Perception : 3 [Visual] Pool: 6 (
Pilot Ground Craft : 2 Pool: 5
Pistols : 2 [Semi-Automatics] Pool: 9 (11)
Running : 1 Pool: 7
Shadowing : 2 Pool: 5
Software : 2 Pool: 5
Swimming : 1 Pool: 7
Throwing Weapons : 2 Pool: 9
Unarmed Combat : 2 Pool: 9

== Knowledge Skills ==
Afrikaans : 1 Pool: 4
Area Knowledge: Seattle : 1 Pool: 4
Ares : 2 Pool: 5
Combat Tactics : 3 Pool: 6
English : N Pool: 0
Firearms : 2 Pool: 5
Gangs : 1 Pool: 4
Literature : 2 Pool: 5
Magical Theory : 1 Pool: 4
Security Tactics : 3 Pool: 6
Sports : 2 Pool: 5

I think you have a problem I have and its that you're still trying to cover way too many bases with your skills and you're ending up mediocre at pretty much everything.

You look like you're going for some sort of security / bodyguard / merc combat focused character and I think it has plenty of promise. Going on the basis that your main pool is assault rifles at a DP of 13 and assuming that's of a reasonable power level for your campaign I'd make these recommendations.

If you want to be good in combat, you should also boost your Reaction (it's what stops you getting shot and helps you shoot first) and get at least one more initiative pass. You could probably afford to drop Will Power a little, but that's fine as it is. Good selection of contacts, knowledge skills etc. I'd probably say that you should take MegaCorps with a specialisation in Ares rather than just Ares if I was your GM.

I've underlined what I would consider to be the skills necessary for virtually everyone. I''ve bolded what I'd consider to be your primary skills. And I've italicised what I'd say were your secondary skills. I've put a strike through the skills that I think are dead weight because you aren't good enough at them to make a difference and they're dragging down your others.

Based on that, you'd want the Influence and Athletics skill groups, but can ditch the Stealth one and just take Infiltration. With the points you save you can boost what you've got left and also probably afford to do something about your Reaction with Wired Reflexes. I know it's an essence hog, you may be better off with Muscle Replacement than the two bioware equivalents. You've got plenty of essence still, even if you're like me and like your characters to be mostly human. I like to stay above 3.5 but even that gives you plenty of wiggle room.

I hope that this is helpful. What advice is best for you, will always depend on the character you want to play and the people you're playing with, so it's hard for anyone here to be sure that advising what they'd do is helpful.

Remember a standard threshold is 2 hits, so if you can't average that (plus a bit of redundancy) then you probably shouldn't be using that skill much if you can help it. And if you need to use it regularly, definitely increase the pool.