Jane barely heard the near machine ask about splitting the taxi. And as wrapped as she was in self-disgust almost missed it. She mulled it over for a moment debating on the pro's and con's of riding with a stranger over saving part of the fare. She needed the cred, but the thought of being in such close proximity to someone she didn't know was frightening. She'd be riding with him in a few hours anyway. Riding with all of them. But, she just couldn't make her self do it. She continued walking toward the door both relieved that she wasn't going to be in the cab with a stranger and disgusted by her own fear.
And then her fathers voice, and a memory of him teaching her to swim. She'd had a deathgrip on her father, the 3 foot end of the pool well above her head back then, "Valor no se encuentra en las cosas grandes, pero en el pequeño." "You are small my Jane, but in you I see courage to face even things much bigger than yourself." "Come, we will start here, and I will hold you." "And you will find in yourself the courage to face every big thing." She hadn't believed him, but he had so much love and trust in her that she'd had to try, and she had eventually learned how not to sink. And he'd been proud of her even for that much. He'd promised she'd learn more, that he would teach her, and the pain knifed her gut again. She'd never had the courage to try and swim without him. But, she could find the courage to face a stranger.
Jane walked back to the table and looked at the near machine. "I'd be willing to split the taxi." she said. There, it was out. "He probably wouldn't hear her anyway." Jane clutched at the relief that that thought brought her. "That's right, no one ever hears me, neither will he." "But, that's not my problem." Jane thought, "I offered."