The troll slots Ace's credstick. "Thank you, Mr. Hardwood," she says, misreading Ace's severely slanted writing. She takes Doc's name, then Chino's. She seems to be loosening up a bit now that the cred has been transferred.
"Here are the house rules:
1) My name is Kimama and I am the madam of the house. You may call me Madam or, if you are feeling flirtatious, Mistress. [She winks covertly at Chino.]
2) No in-and-out privileges. Once you gone, you gone. We will be locked in until your departure time.
3) No wireless, no spirits, no ritual sorcery, nor anything else that may be tracked here. [Doc notices that there's no wireless signal, either from the remoteness of the location, or from wifi inhibitors in the velvet wallpaper, or signal jammers, or all three.]
"The rest is negotiable. Jacquez here -" she pronounces it zhock-kwez "- will fetch your friends and your luggage. Follow me, please."
Jacquez returns the keys that the Madam had given him and runs outside to Eurovan. He hops into the driver's seat, his head barely rising above the dashboard. He removes an ingenious contraption that allows him to work the pedals despite the fact that his feet fall well short of the floor. He gives a polite nod to Sam and Ivana but otherwise acts as if small boys in purple outfits hijacking your vehicle are an ordinary occurrence.
He puts the Eurovan in gear and pulls forward down the snowy road. Suddenly he veers to the left and drives it straight into the hillside. The hill opens up then slides back into place behind the van as it enters. Jacquez parks the van in the middle of a small cave, then hops out and begins looking for bags to carry. He grabs an armful of guns, stacked in his arms like cordwood, and goes down a flight of stairs that leads him to a passageway that travels underground, underneath the creek, and then up a flight of stairs into the basement of the house.
Inside, Kimama leads a tour around the house. It is old-fashioned but luxurious, with dim lighting and creaking wooden floors. The only things missing are external windows and the aforementioned wireless signal. Kimama leads you into a room with a long table lined with chairs. The table is set with cutlery, china place settings, and linen napkins.
"This is the dining room. The kitchen is through those doors. You may provide for yourselves or you may order meals through Jacquez. Meals are not included with your stay and will be charged accordingly."
She leads you into a room lined with books. Actual, physical books in bookshelves that might be made out of real wood. Maybe it is vat-grown hardwood but it still looks good. There are comfortable plush chairs for sitting.
"This is the library. Books may be taken to your room but not from the premises. Cigars and brandy are served in here after dinner. Additional charges apply."
She takes you next door. There is a billiard table along with tables for playing cards.
"This is the game room. As we do not offer wireless, more traditional amusements are provided. Other services are available upon request. Contact myself or Jacquez. Charges apply."
She leads you upstairs, where the guest rooms are. She unlocks a door with a physical key and pushes it open. The room is dominated by a bed large enough to comfortably fit a troll. There is a bedside table with a small lamp, as well as a bureau for clothing. A small private bathroom adjoins the bedroom. It is barely largely enough to accommodate a troll, but it offers some privacy, including a narrow shower.
Kimama turns and drops the key into Ace's hand.
"To protect your privacy, a Renraku Manservant will turn down and tidy your rooms. I will send up a razor and some shaving cream, Mr. Hardwood. If you prefer a more personal touch, I will send up one of the girls. Or boys. Rates available upon request."
She assigns rooms to the rest of the group and the looks to see if there are additional questions. Jacquez continues to shuttle baggage back and forth as quickly as his small legs can carry him.
