[gilga]

Marco reads Blake response and think 'here goes nothing let's hope Blake will catch the bait. That feels like big league now.' Marco forwards the message to Arc.  Marco finds it a bit odd that Arc did not ask for healing but after the treatment Firefly got out of his hands he cannot blame her. He then tries to keep Dana talking and  thinking he say:
"So your lab assistant is cooking magical drugs for competing street gangs, but not for the Stardust  - where do the Stardust get their batches from then ? who could possibly cook for them?" Asks Marco.

Did I get that part right that the one she identified was the mage from Arc/Subaru/the children's run?

[SgtBoomCloud]

Arc shook her head, raising up a hand in recognition of the message Marco passed on to her.  "Could be...but then again, maybe she was third party, therefore unaware?  The gang I trashed that we saw her at used to cook for the Stardust, they just decided to take the cut for themselves..."  Holding her head, she worked through her thoughts as she went over the message.  "Likely they got other operations to cook their drek...maybe, I don't fragging know..."

<<Blake, Arc.  Note our interested party is expecting delivery.  Gonna need a bloody good excuse.  Think your powers that be can work something up so we in the clear?  thanks omae>>

<<@Team: Hoi, maybe got a way outta this mess we in, but there's big drew going down.  Try to get to the shop within twenty, aight?>>

[Mercy Merchant]

Yelena takes a hand and gently places it under Firefly's chin, lifting it so she can look her in the eyes.  "Is true.  Decker mage not yet ready give justice to killers of parents.  Yelena can teach that.  Is not true that Arc not want Firefly.  Are part of team.  Need training.  Need experience.  Is also not true that Marco try hurt decker mage.  Yelena not know magic.  Not really trust magic.  But know too much magic is drain and make slinger weak.  Make careless.  Marco did much magic for team.  Made Yelena octopus.  Made mind speech with Yelena.  Made gangers slot each other.  Make Yelena and others invisible.  Yelena think much drain.  Then Marco try heal with demon.  Demon see Marco weak and take advantage.  Demon magic good if caster strong.  Bad if weak.  Demon inherently evil.  Marco should know.  Marco should not try healing from demon when weak.  Yelena talk quiet to Marco about that.  But Marco not evil.  Not want Firefly hurt.  Is mistake.  Firefly much hurt.  Yelena wish take hurt away.  Can teach decker mage to be strong to beat demon next time.  Yelena live in shadow.  Demon live in dark.  Shadow stronger than dark.  Demon afraid of Yelena and shadow.  Yelena can show Firefly how, but Firefly has to choose.  Yelena not know much about Allah, but shadow life maybe against teachings.  Can decker mage make choice?  Is hard for some.  Too hard.  Not for Yelena because never really believe in anything else.  Believed in love once, but no more.  Love is illusion.  Shadow is real."

Her talk is interrupted by Arc's message.  Yelena frowns and says.  "Firefly ready?  Can pick up things here and go back chop shop.  But Yelena serious.  Too many say they are shadow runners when they know frag-all about the real shadows.  Most runners piss selves when finally get chance to see real shadow.  Yelena can take.  Can show.  But decker mage has to choose.  Shadow is way of life, not profession.  Not job.  Not hobby.  Shadow simply is and most never ready to even see, much less enter.  Is life of danger.  Of solitude.  Of one with shadow.  So think.  Tell Yelena if want what she can really show or just learn to kill.  Yelena wait until decker mage ready."

[Shaman_Yuri]

Firefly listens intently to Yelena, averting her eyes only once at the mention of Allah.  As Yelena finishes she simply nods and stands to go.  It really is amazing that the state of her jumpsuit isn't drawing more attention, or even more that the normally shy and modest Firefly isn't aghast at the bare flesh of one side of her torso showing to the cold world.  Her right nipple isn't...quite...showing, but the curve of that small but growing breast is unmistakable.  The angry wound is closed but still visible as an angry welt with purple bruising discoloring her brown skin.  It can't feel very good but the girl gives no apparent notice to it any more than she does to her modesty.  Her eyes seem determined but no longer angry or outraged...and very, very deep in thought.

[ismilealot]

@ Marco  Dana looks at Marco and says, "The drug is still very much in it's experimental stages. It's not supposed to be in production at all, much less being sold at a club. The first I knew about that was when I heard it from you. But, then it made a few other things make sense. The scene with Han. Leonard not pushing me to get this in production form. My research assistants taken off the main project and told to try and make a few other of my experiments 'marketably viable' when I'd scrubbed them as to addictive despite effectiveness." she pauses. "They were supposed to be working on making it less addictive. What are the odds that actually happened?" she says bitterly. "If Suri was using her knowledge to make drugs for them than odds are Jaime is too. Jaime is Jai On-Yang Mao. Those two are thick as thieves. They joke about being brother and sister since they share the Mao surname. But, more than that they're both very, very friendly with the other staff. I've noticed that they have a way of schmoozing and gaining trust that's really unusual with the Chinese. Most of my staff is Chinese, and Suri and Jaime are the very few that have reached out to the non-Chinese members and do a little clubbing with them. I was glad at first, but, here lately I've noticed they both are in just a little to good. I've suspected some password compromise and now, knowing that the drug is being produced and sold it's fairly certain." She pauses thinking. "A few others among my staff have been suddenly fired by Leonard as well. But, in each case Leonard told me he fired them with a phone call. And someone else picked up their things and took them to them. They never showed back up at work. Leonard always said it was because he didn't want a security compromise as he already suspected them of it. So now, I'm guessing that they were how this Stardust club got their drugs."

[Mercy Merchant]

Yelena nods as Firefly stands.  The young woman's movement stretches the fabric of the jumpsuit and exposes the wound.  Yelena frowns at the sight of what will almost certainly be an ugly scar that will remind Firefly of what happened for the rest of her life.  Yelena reaches out to trace the scar with a finger.  Looking up at Firefly, she says, "This bad wound.  Firefly lucky be alive to have anger for Marco.  Important thing is decker mage is alive.  Always think that.  Alive means not dead.  Alive means another chance.  Alive means can get justice for parents.  Yelena show how beat demon.  How get justice.  But not if Firefly dead."

As Firefly turns, Yelena's eyes are drawn to the partially exposed breast.  The torn material stubbornly refuses to show her nipple, but not a lot is left to the imagination.  Yelena resists the surprisingly strong urge to finish the job the tear began, reminding herself that the girl is Muslim and young and has shown no interest in exploring that side of her sexuality.  Sighing to herself, she stands and helps Firefly get some food and a couple sets of clothes, one of which should fit the mage at the chop shop.

Finished shopping, the pair walk the short distance to the garage to see how things have progressed there.  Yelena enters behind Firefly, ready to step in if the woman's emotions get the better of her, but suspecting that she is under control of herself for now.

[Mercy Merchant]

Yelena and Firefly enter the garage to a cacophony of noise.  Several halfers are intently tearing apart one of the vans that the team had brought in.  It is hard to see how many of the little cutters there are doing the work, but she counts at least six.  Yelena reaches for two sets of hearing protectors that are hanging on hooks near the entrance and gives one to the decker mage next to her.  The noise is abated only a bit, but enough to make it painless.  Looking around, she does not see the others, but there is a side door that must lead to a back room and she assumes that is where Arc, Marco, Tuskaloosa, and the mage are.  Yelena hands off her bag to Firefly and nods her head at the door, sending the young woman off to find the others while she goes over to look at the van.  Seeing her approach, one of the halfers lowers a cutting torch and motions to where everything from inside the vans is neatly stacked.  Nodding, Yelena goes to the stack and finds her treasured rifle carefully placed to one side with a note attached to the trigger guard indicating "NOT FOR CHOPPING OR THE KEEB WILL GUT US ALL - AND THAT IS NO JOKE".  Yelena smiles as she picks up the rifle and looks at the halfer, saluting.

Walking to the door she notices that the other van is waiting for a decision to be made on its future.  Yelena would rather see it chopped as well and reap something from the parts as take a chance that it be identified by some wandering Jade Dragon ganger later.  Although, in her mind, the fate of the Jade Dragons was certainly up for discussion.  If they were in fact working for the Yaks, the gang is likely to be much smaller after failing in their mission.  Yelena pushes open the door and steps into relative quiet.  Firefly, Arc and the mage are not visible, but she can hear their voices from behind a large blanket that Tuskaloosa is holding up.  Nodding at the Troll, Yelena places her rifle against the wall near the ratty couch, noting that the halfers and Arc must have the same interior decorator.  She moves over to where Marco is sitting with his back to the activity.  Putting a hand out, she gives his shoulder a squeeze.  "Yelena say thanks for the mojo tonight.  Much help in getting mage and getting vans.  Much harder without you.  Yelena hear things.  Need smoke.  Marco come talk Yelena?"

Yelena reaches for her cigar case and heads for the rear door that opens into a narrow alley.  She removes a thin cigar from the case and lights it as she waits for Marco to join her.  By habit, she offers him one of the acrid things, knowing that he will probably refuse.  She pulls the shadow about her for warmth and takes a few pulls before saying, "So.  Yelena hear of demon healing.  What Marco side of story?"

[Duck N. Cover]

“Damn Peter and his pickled peppers. I'll pick this anyday!”

After double-checking the locks, Tuskaloosa carefully picked her way back, curious to see what could make the Hatter so excited.
He was practically bouncing, his arms wraped around himself in a vain attempt at containment.
When she got a good look in the floor compartment she understood why.  First it's way too much money.  Now it's way too many connections.  “Lotsa luck, chummer,” she drawled. “I'll be lucky just to pick that up.”

It took a bit of work to get the Ares Archon out of the floor and onto its tripod, but it was worth it.
She found the slots in the floor near the side door, clearly for when there was an opportunity for door-gunning.
The mobility and battery power of the Rover, coupled with the flexibility to still move it from the vehicle to the best firing position available.  All for a freeking laser.  The brilliance of the setup made her giddy.
At the same time, it also made her blood run cold:  Worst case: we could have been staring at the wrong end of this.
 I guess sometimes it really is better not to know the odds... “You said you'd pick this.  Do you even know how to use one?”
“Not I.  But I spy with my little eye a Cheshire Cat, and a cat that likes a laser pointer loves a pointy laser.”
 
____

“I'm sorry.  It's not you—It's me.  It's not your fault...so I apologize.
I'm sure you believed yourself indestructable: you'd be going strong long after the rest of us answer the Worm-feeder job app.  But maybe that was your problem:  you're too strong.  If you'd been a little weaker, a little more approachable, I wouldn't be saying adios.
...Actually, I take that back.  It's not your problem—you are who you are.  Like I said, it's me.  If  I weren't so paranoid—and gutless—it wouldn't have to come to this.
If it makes you feel any better, you aren't the only one who came up short tonight...and  your parts will mean other cars and trucks will get to live another day.  Or...who knows?  Maybe you'll be taken apart, cleansed of trace-ables and shipped to someplace new for reasembly.  You're all there, after all...it could happen...”
She pressed her knuckes to the window in a final fist bump. “Adios.”

Hatter had given her some distance.  At a gesture from his boss an idle member of his crew passed her: likely to finish the unpacking of their loot.  The symphony of dissasembly continued unabated in the other bay of the cavernous garage.  It seemed unnecessary, but she made the request anyway: “When the time comes, don't torture—make it quick.”
He nodded sagely.  “Trolls have big hearts, 'tis true...but an Extra, Extra Large beats within you.”
She simply shrugged. “Not like these Rovers got to choose who bought them.  Now, if you'll point me in the direction of wherever you've stashed my group...”

She quietly steeled herself.  Arc had not been happy at her for making the counter-offer during negotiations with Hatter and his munchkins, and she didn't blame the mechanic one bit.  If Fortune—and the aid from the choppers themselves—hadn't favored her and Yelena's bold actions, she could have turned a frying-pan situation into a flambe'. I have some music to face.



In the end however, Arc had been too busy working on a way out of their current 'mess' with Marco and their prize—and staying upright—to say much.  “Back safe?  Good...see if you can get a sheet or something.”  When Firefly came in with a bag of clothes and groceries she said simply “make a wall” and exiled Marco to the other side of it.

The troll accepted the orders quietly, intending to speak only when spoken to.

[gilga]

Marco thinks about the Mau’s something do not add up, if this was a secret drug and they took it off from the Yaks then how come their club was still intact? In the middle of the Barrens where all it take some violence,some shooting and people would not come. The Yaks were probably capable of burning that place in methods that I cannot even imagine. Were they so blind of the theft? They paid good money and the people that stole the technology did so openly in the middle of the Barrens with neon lights and fancy AR displays. If they are hiding they are not very successful.

“Who exactly were you working for? Indirectly I mean - a smart girl like you? Somebody put some serious money into research and development whose scale would be suitable to the corporate world - this was not some street chemists trying to cook the big street drug.  Somebody paid the bill - why would anyone pay so much ?

Then your colleagues 'steal' the drug and sell it to some business that openly sell it in the same city, in the public? With drugs that set up a new standard megitech and chemistry.  We are missing something I know that. "


Marco sighs, the girls have arrived.  He said "I'll wait outside the cold air will do me good. I know that I am a persona non grata around here."  and walked outside. The technical magic that was liquidating the van into scrap metal was inspiring. He avoided forming eye contact with Tuska or Firefly - he was ashamed.

He is happy when Yelena joins him and politely refuse the smoke. When she speaks he say. "You do not waste time do you?"   He sighs and then speak searching his soul for the words. “It is the tragic place where Firefly's superstition encounters my own negative emotions. Mages summon similar kind of spirits - these spirits have no physical form as they are not part of the physical world. The physical form they create is shaped by their  telepathic connection with their summoner.

Only physical creatures can summon - spirits despite being able to teach you about conjuring can never do so themselves. Some shapes of  magic simply requires you to be a physical form.  Therefore, spirits do not rape and even if they did such things they would not rape your physical body.”

Marco then sighs “It is not easy to be me, have you ever read these self aid books that claim that if you want something really bad you can ‘think’ it to happen to you? These are my life and it is not as fun as it first sounds.

My compassion heals people, I have no knowledge of medicine and yet I can place my hand on a person and take away some of their pain. My lust - well you saw what my lust can do to people as will the entire city. My curiosity ? This is what transformed you into an octopus and what linked our minds.“

“But if my positive emotions can do these wonderful things - what do you think happens when I express Fear, anger, rage or revenge? Can you imagine how dangerous these emotions are for me? Can you imagine how many of these emotions I hold inside?

My own parents gave me away ? How can this wound ever heal? The priests that raised me they were only interested in my mojo - I was a tool for them and nothing more. Then I met Shilla only to discover that her emotions are also nothing but manipulation - and she wanted me as a tooI. No person have ever loved me and if it wasn't for the love of Christ, and Agrat and spirits - I could not become who I am.  Ever since I understood how dangerous I am, I embraced Christ into my heart and vowed to only express positive emotions.  I dedicate my life to compassion, to curiosity and to lust but I really let go of my darkness?

Greed?
Anger?
Rage?
Revenge?

These emotions pave my path into toxic magic. Mages are not very emotionally stable, we are all bordering insanity. This is why I had to believe that even the Smiley killer could be restored. If she could then perhaps - so can I.   There is a child in me that is hurt, a part that thinks that humanity are all scum - and that the entire world should burn.  Some part of me will never forgive and never forget what was done to me. When that part looks at the adult I grew up to be it rebels - it is disgusted. It considers compassion to be weakness and only value strength, survival instinct and self defense. It is incapable of love and its only lust is to see everyone else suffer like him.

That part of me constantly scorns me - and the Daemons see both parts of me - this is why they are shaped like what they are. If my conscious half controls the Daemon than my other half shapes it. A Daemon that heals in the most absurd manner?! This is nothing but a symbol to the struggle inside my own personality. Daemons reflect what I really am - and that image is far from the person that I aspire to become.

It is very possible that my entire Christianity, my morality and positive emotions are all futile attempts to stop the tsunami of negative emotions  that have built up inside me over the years. I afraid to become like the Smiley killer -- killing people indiscriminately in a metaphysical attempt to avenge humanity for the wrong that was done to me. "

Marco is silent and then adds -

“Christianity struggles with summoning - they do not understand it. Church already said that spirits are not saints or angels or daemons.  They are no longer believed to have religious significance. Yet my spirits always challenged this formal believe - and were always banished on sight just in case. Please - do not let your eyes fool you they are not evil - I would have never survived without spirits. I was summoning since I was a little boy - it came as naturally as talking to me. My technique improved with practice and arcane training - but for minor spirits I could intuitively summon them when I was a little boy.


Spirits were reading me stories, helped me relax when I had a bad dream. I even summoned spirits to hug me. When my parents left me I had nobody else to comfort me I was so lonely and I needed someone - anyone- to reach out for me.

I had to secretly summon them but I kept doing so. In my first year at the monastery I'd sneak out of my bed to have a spirit sing lullaby for me. There was nobody else who could show me any form of affection. I used to close my eyes and imagine that I was loved and protected. These are the same spirits that did THAT to firefly, if they are evil than there is no hope for me. “

Marco's eyes are wet and the realization is now clear to him - "It is not the Church I should be afraid of - it is my own future. If I am not going to face my past and to dig deeper into what I really am - I will end up a toxic mage. "

[Shaman_Yuri]

When I enter the room with Arc and Marco the discomfort between the elf and I are palpable.  Fortunately Marco gets the hint with only a few words from me and the visible folded package of soy-based sweats under one of my arms.  As the troll uses a sheet to drape up a wall, I turn again to the mage hoping that this time she won't think of me as the 'good cop' anymore.  "Here," I say, tossing the package gently at the woman.  "It'll do more for your modesty than my hijab I bet.  Not to mention, it's warmer.  If you want to keep the jacket for now, feel free.  I still have my jumpsuit...or at least what's left of it."  While my battered torso is now covered by a sweat top, she's doubtless seen the shredded chest of my armor.  Best not to talk about it...

[Mercy Merchant]

Yelena listens to Marco talk while she smokes her cigar.  When he is finished, she strips the butt and lights another one, pulling on it before saying anything.  "Marco say much.  Yelena even understand some.  Much surprise.  But Marco wrong when say demon not physical rape.  Decker mage young woman.  Firefly much hurt.  Maybe die.  Marco send demon heal.  Demon channel Marco frustration, anger maybe weakness.  Demon say things Firefly.  Scare her.  Already emotional weak.  Demon make worse.  To her IS demon rape.  Mind tell rape so becomes rape.  Telling not real rape is wrong because was real to her.  Firefly now sure demon know her.  Has scent.  Wait for decker die and claim soul.  Nothing Marco say change that.  Nothing Yelena say change that.  Even Marco say not mean to does not help.  Yelena tell firefly she help teach be strong.  Beat demon.  Start small then maybe ask Marco help teach.  Girl need be much strong.  Will recover or die.  Yelena help as can.  Arc help as can.  Even Marco help.  Is maybe best not use demon magic on Firefly.  Use on Yelena.  Yelena much strong.  Stronger than demon.  But not use on Firefly.  She not trust demon.  Must learn trust Marco."

Yelena takes a couple more puffs then adds.  "Yelena go through hate period.  Was long ago.  Yelena true evil.  Kill babies.  Kill children.  Kill mothers and old people.  All for being human.  Much worse than Smiley Killer.  Many years of hate.  Much death.  Then hate self.  Long time.  Now not hate.  Yelena listen if Marco want talk.  Tell Yelena all.  Yelena hear then try help.  Marco not evil.  Yelena know evil and know Marco not evil.  Marco might become evil if Marco want.  Yelena help stop if ask.  Marco ask?"

[gilga]

Marco say " I do not say it was not real, I am saying that it was 100% me. I am a dangerous person and it is not the Daemon magic that is flawed, it is myself. Not only will I not stop, I'll dig into that magic deeper and ask my Daemons to stay longer - they will teach me about myself and about mojo and I will be able to look into my own soul.

I think that the fact that I cannot feel angry about my family is a defensive mechanism. It was like I locked all these emotions away and started building myself new life. The only way to move on and let go is forgiveness, but I cannot forgive something that I can feel no emotion from.

I cannot just dismiss it all on evil Daemon and decide never to summon again. My emotions will find some other way to surface and there is a deep part of me who scorns Firefly for being helpless, a part that does not approve of what I am and believes that self reliance and self preservation are the only qualities that are worth anything. That part scorns myself for choosing weakness over strength.

You are not very different from that part yourself but you expressed your darkness already and accepted it. At the end of the day, you trust yourself - this is how you handled life for many years. You expressed your darkness until it was all out and eventually you overcame it. I do not want to take your path, I want to overcome my emotions without ever expressing that anger. I was not born to judge others - Christ do not need me as an enforcer.  It take faith to decide to limit yourself, to embrace weakness as a mean of doing good.  I am weak as I limit my mojo to positive emotions and I ignore some of the darker aspects of it.

But I have wronged Firefly and she needs you and you want to help her. This is my cross to bear and I am not as cruel as to remind her of what I did every single day of her life. She should not have to face me,  there is no place for me here anymore. She does not have to be strong all the time."

[Mercy Merchant]

"Yelena not know enough about demons.  Yelena not say stop calling demons.  Just not use demon magic on Firefly until she ready."  Yelena shrugs.  "Maybe never.  Yelena not know.  Maybe demon wrong because of Marco.  Maybe not.  Marco should learn.  Study.  Find out why demon did bad thing.  Marco right about Yelena.  Yelena accept darkness in soul.  Yelena embrace shadow and learn to live.  Much time.  Many years to learn because Yelena was alone.  Marco not need to be alone.  Marco say silly thing when say no place here.  Here is exact place for Marco.  Marco has friends.  This Marco family now.  Real family.  And real family not quit when hard things happen.  Marco can go.  Maybe find answer.  But take much time.  Faster with friends.  With family."

Yelena strips her second butt and starts to remove a third cigar when she notes that she only has four left in the case.  Frowning, she puts the case back in her pocket and thumbs over her shoulder at the door behind her.  "Decker mage need help, too.  Need Marco help understand what is demon.  Girl not ready yet, but soon.  Will need Marco help be strong.  All family need Marco help."  She puts a hand on his chest and adds, "After Poland, maybe go Italy.  Get Marco answers.  Close wounds.  Meantime, no more talk of Marco leaving.  Deal?"

[gilga]

No deal, said Marco. "They may be your family but they are not mine - I gave you my word for Poland but I am not welcome with your family in a similar way that Nikolai is not welcome. We are trying to see if  Blake can get mage lady some government deal. She is the one who invented magic drug. This means that we did what we were hired to do. It does not bring back Feathers but it should give whomever hired us information about the drug.

Once the mage is transferred and you are safe, I am gone. The day after tomorrow I have some gig for Blake and I should be okay but it would be nice to have backup in case that they discover the ruse. After that I do not plan to be seen much I'll find myself a safe house to study in until we leave."

[Mercy Merchant]

Yelena looks at him closely then shrugs her shoulders and nods, but her eyes turn to a cold shade of death.  "Frag you, Marco.  Marco not listen Yelena.  Is Marco choice.  Yelena tell that Marco heart not in Poland.  So Yelena release Marco from promise.  Marco stay and learn about self.  Yelena not drag friends to help.  Poland dangerous.  Not want half-heart.  Get self or others killed if half-heart.  And now Marco is only half-heart."

"Marco wrong to turn away from friends.  From family.  Marco blind if not see family.  Yelena cannot make Marco see truth.  So Marco go try alone.  Not listen Yelena.  Not listen Arc.  Finish Stardust club then Marco go.  Yelena still friend.  Yelena never half-heart about anything.  But sometimes Yelena wrong.  And maybe Yelena wrong about strong Marco.  Runner life not for weak.  And shadow life even worse for weak.  Marco need get strong.  Better with friend help.  Faster.  But Marco want go alone.  Then good luck.  Always place with family if Marco change mind."

Yelena wraps the shadows about herself to conceal the hurt she feels.  Turning, she opens the door and starts to head in, stopping with one foot in the room.  She looks over her shoulder at Marco and whispers, "Yelena right all along.  Words of love are lies.  Love not exist.  Foolish Yelena to start believe again."  With that, she goes into the building, leaving the door open for Marco to follow her in or stay out.  Without looking at the others, she goes out into the main garage, barely even seeing the progress on the van before exiting through the front of the building to the street outside.  Once back in the cold air, she calls the shadows to her and cloaks herself to try to work past the pain.  And the shadows, her constant companion and ally since she was five years old, do not disappoint.  She is almost invisible in the shadow as she heads down the street, going nowhere, but allowing the shadow to comfort and heal her.