@Raider - great pic. Obi's not just a great artist, he somehow really get's a feel for what your character looks like based on what you've written. Honestly, i think it's uncanny how 'right on' he can be.
Liked your story. It showed a lot about your character and his relationships with other key beings.
You should try breaking your paragraphs up, if you want some constructive feedback. One giant block of text is not only unappealing to the reader, but robs you of the opportunity to use rhythm for emphasis.
Oh, and if your character especially loves hunting pedophiles, have you read any Andrew Vachss?
