What the hell? Where is the old font. You know, the old Shadowrun font that was hard to read; small, with weirdly shaped "a"s and "e"s and with "t"s that when placed before an "i" would make it look like an old man "f" with a cane. I hated that font so much it was like the abusive older sister that I never had. And it never translated to the computer screen well, like it was half blurry, half drunk, and half incontinent...yeah, small font but big older sister. But by the dark gods I used it, on every file. Just. To. Piss. My. Players. Off. They'd wine and cry and weep that their eyes were bleeding from trying to read "The Shadowrun Font." And I'd just laugh and yell "suck it up, asswipes!" as I threw more and more toxic-blood-gestalt-cyberzombie-bug-spirits at them. It made them strong! (or bug food).
And that's why today's Shadowrunners are anemic and week! The reading is too easy. Their eyes see it but the content don't stick. They're Carebear unicorns at an imaginary car wash! Think it's a joke,
well recent cutting edge totally-anecdotal neuroscience research says it ain't! You've got to make players scratch and bite and claw their way through each word, each letter, so they not just understand the text...but they become the text!
Now I love my abusive older sister...but she's gone...gone from all the books that are now too easy to read and too easy to not remember what it was I was reading about like when you're driving to work and you're thinking about how you need to find that bit of taco bell meat that fell behind your desk yesterday but you were always just too busy to find it but by now it's probably started to smell a bit, or at least attract some kind of other living organisms like mice or chickens, like the chickens my uncle used to raise, they were all white with red feathers on their wings, he said he just painted the red on to mark them as his, but I never believed him, he was always pulling my leg, speaking of which the legs on that girl at the coffee shop were amazing but that was probably because of all the...what? Oh. Yeah.
Damnit! Where's my font! Where's THE font!?!
(This is a tongue in cheek post. Just to be clear this is an attack on no one. It's just a geek-rant with a smile
).
