[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

"Nah, this ain't drama. Anytime ever'one smilin', that ain't drama. Reckon the first question is what you was plannin' on doin' all night if ol' Al'd gone gallavantin' off with li'l Janet..."

Alyce gave Al an odd look.  "If you had gone with Janet, I would have shagged Brad in his cabin, but I am not really interested enough to leave you to do that and would rather spend some time with you."

Al snapped his fingers. "Well o' course ya would. But begs the question...an' I ain't criticizin', jist tryin' ta git into yer head, an' maybe my own a little bit...if ya rather be with me, then why'd ya even put that shit on the table? An' ya say ya ain't even all that innerested in young Brad, but ya still planned ta let 'im have ya, er, intimately. Why? Hell, what happened when you two went ta the head? I mean, I guessed it from the git go, but which of ya brung it up? How's a conversation like that even go down? Shit, sorry. Pepperin' ya with questions. Don't mean ta interrogate. Understood ya were inta all this...but I already had a question or three...an' now I been face ta face with it, well, almost...hoo-eee woman, ya do know how ta keep a day innerestin'."

[Mercy Merchant]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076


Alyce looks at Al and nods.  “Fair questions.  I put it on the table in case you were interested.  I am not completely sure why you are not bedding me and had hoped that you would explain that at some point, but I am pretty sure from some things that you have said in the past that you have had intimate relations with women and did not find that to be distasteful.  I am hoping like hell that you eventually decide to crawl into my bed and make love to me, but you have encouraged me to go to one of my sharing parties and would probably have encouraged me to take Brad to bed tonight and I wanted you to know for sure that you have the same flexibility and can bed whomever you bloody well wish without me thinking one bit less of you for doing so.”
 
“To me, sex is just that, most of the time.  It is an act of intimacy and sharing and can be a ton of fun, but most of the time it is just sex.  I am not all that interested in Brad, but I am very interested in sex.  To me, the partner does not really matter most of the time.  I am a very skilled lover and know many ways to please a sex partner and try to give every encounter my best effort and I am sure that I would have left Brad groaning, knowing that he had just had some really terrific sex.  As for the conversation in the loo?  That was initiated by Janet.  She seems quite taken by your bad boy attitude and wants to see what sex outside her marriage bed is like but does not want to cheat on her husband.  Not yet, at any rate.  They might be good candidates for a sharing party, just to see if they are really interested in something a bit more than straight married sex.”
 
Alyce pauses, then adds, “I look at love entirely differently than I look at sex, Al.  Like I said before, sex is just sex but love is special.  I have never really made love to a man, not really.  I was once engaged and we were sexually active with each other.  Actually, I am sure that I was not his first conquest, but he was certainly the first man I had sex with.  But I knew nothing about sex at that time.  It was all just spreading my legs and enjoying the experience.  Do not get me wrong, I did enjoy those early experiences very much, but there was something missing.  Something that might have developed between us if he had not been killed.  But he was killed and I never really even knew what I was missing…………just some nebulous something.  I did not find it in any of my subsequent sexual encounters, even though I was getting into sharing and expanding my sexual horizons.”
 
“Then I met you and you turned my entire world upside down.  Suddenly, I had my missing something and he did not want to bed me.  He wanted to look at me, sometimes even touch me, but he did not want to have sex with me.  You, Al Guthrie.  You are my missing something, that nebulous thing I have been looking for my entire life.  I have a hard time breathing and my insides ache when you are not around.  That eight years was…….well, unpleasant.  I think about you all the time.  You are a maddening, stubborn, sometimes grumpy man, but I cannot get you out of me.  So love.  Yes, I am in love and like I said, love is special.  I just know that when you finally make up your mind that I am the woman for you and come to take me to bed, that the experience will be so much greater than anything I have previously done.  I am sure that my first time with you will be the greatest sexual experience of my life to that time, and that every time after will only be better than the one before.”
 
Alyce holds her arm up.  “Look, I get goose bumps just thinking of being in bed with you and you kissing me and telling me that you really do want me.  I do not really know what more to say.  I do know that if you ever give me the chance to show you, I will rock your world.  Now, I do not know everything about your past and you may have or had another woman who you have loved and who loved you and perhaps I am coming up short in a comparison.  I have no interest in replacing anyone or causing you to cheat on a memory or a living woman.  If you never take me to bed and make love to me, I will have to live with that.  No drama, just truth.”

"So, next question?"

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

"Next question?! Yeah, alrighty, I got plenty more, but gimme three ticks ta git my head around that last batch."

Damn, what he'd meant to be a lighthearted chat about an admittedly arousing topic had reversed right back to the heavy stuff.

Holy freaking moly, he thought, no pressure, right?

Well, he'd asked. And she'd answered. Straight up. He couldn't fault her.

He smiled at her, and then reminded himself he still wasn't sure..."Okay, hey, can you see when I smile or whatever, or should ol' Al text ya emojis or somethin'?...Never mind, detail fer later....Okay, reckon I took all ya jist said on board. Appreciate yer candor. We'll git back to it some night the drama quota ain't full. So movin' on, then. Ya said ya had this, what? Circle or tribe o' sharers. They got these ritualized mask parties. This a big group? I mean, ya go ta one them parties like ya t'other night ya described, ya know ever'one? Scratch that, they's all in masks. But all o' ya at the quiz night knew each other, an' you an' Mister Perfessor onna train here know each other. What, ya ditch the masks an' go fer coffee after? Or is these masked deals the tip o' the sharin' iceberg an' yer into a lot more on top o' that? Sorry, toots, jist tryin' ta picture what I'm in for here, cuz it's clear this ain't jist a hobby fer you, it's a whole world, a whole subculture yer a part of. An' since ol' Al, by virtue o' bein' here, is obviously seriously considerin' bein' a part o' this world...well...ya got a lot o' lovers ya see outside o' these shindigs?"

[Mercy Merchant]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076


Alyce chuckles as she nods.  "I belong to more than one sharing group, Al.  There are a number in London and they tend to have parties on different days so that people from one group can go to parties hosted by another group.  I also belong to a group up in Cambridge and I attend parties up there if they coincide with one of my visits to see Gem.  The masks allow us to preserve a bit of anonymity but sometimes you just know.  A scar, an accent, something will let you know who you are talking to or having sex with.Still, the rules of sharing  mean that you pretend to not recognize people when in public, although there is no prohibition against that when in private.  On occasion, I have had intimate relations with someone outside of a party, but not often.  After all, I do not feel that I need to be sexually active only at parties and sometimes sex with just one person is good, too.  Sometimes I meet someone and things click and we end up in bed.  I am certainly not against having sex with complete strangers.

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Al laughed, relieved that the tone had lightened. "Well, glad ta hear that, at least sometimes, sex with just one person's good, too. Cuz that's gen'rally been my limit, jist speakin' as an eccentric, o' course." He shook his head as he opened the minibar to retrieve a beer. It was good to laugh with her. Hell, a mere twelve hours ago he'd been catatonic in some totem-induced fever dream, then she'd tried to kick him to the curb, then attempted to hook him up with some strange young woman, all the while walking around a small village mostly naked, buying a huge house, and meeting a ghost, punctuated by regular protestations of love and adoration.

He figured he'd picked the right traveling companion.

"So, as a gen'ral rule, an' excludin' the, um, higher emotions, ya prefer great piles o' folk ta jist makin' the beast with a paltry two backs?"

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Alyce smiles and shakes her head.  “No, Al, that is not what I mean.  I am comfortable with any number of sexual partners and I get just as much enjoyment out of a one-on-one as I do when I am pleasing and being pleased by a couple or a small group.  Most of it is spur of the moment and unplanned.  At a party, I can walk into a room and join in with others or I can take one person into a private room.  No one is ever forced to do something they are not comfortable with or just do not want to do and, in fact, many of the people at these parties are not into group sex; they are just experimenting with different solo partners.  And most of my random encounters are with only one other person, like that hot inker from the tattoo parlour the other night."
 
She grins a bit.  “You know, I could give you a good demonstration of how much I enjoy a one-on-one encounter, but it would require you taking your clothes off and climbing into bed with me.  I am pretty sure that you would get a greater understanding of me and what I can do for you, for us, with a hands-on experience.”
 
Alyce pauses.  "If that is not on your agenda for right now, what is your next question?"

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Al chuckled and wagged a finger at her.

No question he was tempted. Like never before. And he wanted to make her happy, too.

Trouble was, happiness just wasn't - couldn't be - in the cards.

He had his magic tricks to practice. His trid to watch. His rides to work on. His dog to talk to. His Lucky Strikes to smoke. And if that wasn't enough, maybe this one for a friend to spend time with.

That'd probably have to be enough.

Ironic thing was, it was just a few hours ago she'd tried to give up on the whole thing for his sake. When really, if he had any integrity he'd be doing that for her.

But She said there was hope. And then again, She had four legs and wasn't real, so what did She know anyway?

It all flashed through his mind, as it had dozens of times before, in the time it took him to wag is finger. Smile never fading, he said, "Okay...let's see....yer obviously o' the elfin persuasion. An' all the 'dear friends' I run across so far been round-ears. That pretty much it, or ya git more exotic than that?"

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Alice gives Al a rueful smile.  “You mean besides the dogs I let shag me years ago?  Yes, I have tried lots of people and have no particular preference for any race, although I am usually restricted to oral or digital sex with male Trolls as I am just too small for what they have to offer.  Orks, Dwarves, and other Keebs are not usually a problem and there are a number of them on my 'dear friends' list.”
 
“Next question?”

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Al very nearly swallowed his cigarette before she'd finished her first sentence. Still unsure how she was with facial expressions, and knowing his spiked pulse could be taken any number of ways, he did his best to just act nonchalant.

She'd mentioned that before, albeit in less graphic terms, but he had somehow decided to unhear it. He had to keep his cool now - asking her about all this stuff and then acting or even seeming, shocked or derisive at her frank answers would be a low-down thing to do.

"Next question issss...howzabout we watch trid together till dawn - only not Tales - somethin' you fancy? Got the munchies, too. They's the 24-hour room service, or I hear they got the all-night buffet back in the plebe seats - ain't the same hoi-polloi fare we git up here, but lots more choice."

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Alice nods to herself then says, “Sure, Al, we can watch a trid if you want.  I have a good copy of Pride and Prejudice loaded to my ‘link that I can slide to the player here.  There, that is done.  Now, to go back to one of your earlier questions that I did not answer; most of my normal senses besides sight are enhanced with implants and or I have had to rely on them in lieu of sight for so long that they are much better than those of a normal sighted person.  Smell, taste, hearing, and touch are all improved.  I can detect differences in someone’s breathing, sometimes their heartbeat, or their sweat.  Over the years I have become a pretty good guesser as to what people are doing just be paying attention to what their bodies are saying to me.  Also, I cheat.  I use very small drones in my hair, one looking to the front and another to the rear and I tie their sensor feeds to my comlink.  This can many times be better than what someone else sees with their eyes.”
 
“Before we start the trid, may I ask you a question, since it seems that you might be done asking yours for the night?  Can you tell me why you do not wish to make love to me?  No drama, just truth.”

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Seeing her prepare the chip, Al replied, "Sounds like yer optin' fer the room service. What'll it be?"

He called them up and ordered two Angus beef burgers with onion rings and steak-cut fries, asked if they had those jammie-wheelie things, which they did, then ordered whatever else Alyce wanted.

Call placed, he settled back into his chair. No, he didn't want to get into this. Yes, she was a dear friend, and it was a fair question.

"Well, I can promise no drama. And while I can't promise all the truth, I can promise it'll all be truth."

He watched her face through the crazy steampunk shades she always wore, even when otherwise buck naked. He reckoned he had her attention.

"Now the smart-ass but true answer is, yer askin' the wrong question, when ya ask why I do not wish ta make love to ya. Shee-it woman, all those high-falootin' sensors yer sportin', sure ya know this ain't the first time The Elephant's been threatenin' ta tear a hole in my pristine five-oh-ones here. An' it ain't jist The Elephant wants ya. It's all o' me, ever' part that thinks or feels wishes ta make love to ya."

What he also wished was that the food would get here, to rescue him from his conversation. But he soldiered on. "So why's its stayin' jist a wish? Ya said you thought ya knew, an' I'd honestly be curious ta know yer theory. Maybe you'd be onto somethin'. Fact is, toots, they's a multiplicity o' reasons. Some I reckon I'll git round ta talkin' 'bout. Lord knows She's antsy for me to. Some I may not ever. Or I will, cuz they'll need ta come out, I reckon, fer my wish ta ever come true."

He stubbed out his cigarette, reached down to unlace his boots. He still wanted to try the plebes' buffet some night, though.

"S'pose that ain't too satisfyin' an answer, but it's what I got for ya right now. I can clear one thing up, though, misconception ya seem ta be saddled with. It ain't about no one else. No one livin', dead, or remembered I got no loyalties to, not in that sense." He thought of something, and shrugged out of his ever-present jacket. "Back ta Andoung Tuek I done showed ya my Troubleshooters tat. Well, I got a helluva lot more'n that, lemme show ya one more."

He was reaching for her hand to let her feel his skin when the knock came at the door.

[Mercy Merchant]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076
 
 
Alyce’s heart almost explodes at his words and her face lights up in a radiant smile.  “Yes, Al, it is not that difficult to know that your body wants mine, but after all, your elephant starts to stir when you look at any pretty girl.  That is just a part of nature.  You have never before come out and said that every part of you that thinks or feels wishes to make love to me.  That is new.  It answers some questions and leads to others that you apparently do not wish to talk about at this time.”
 
She pauses to order her thoughts then shakes her head.  “I am not certain, Al, but I do have a few theories about why you are not shagging the bloody hell out of me.  The first is that you do not want to get too close to me for some reason.  Perhaps you have gotten close to other women and something happened and for whatever reason you moved on or they did.  A broken or torn heart takes a long time to heal and what sane person wants to risk that again.  Secondly, for some reason you are afraid that I will want to change you so much that you will not be Al Guthrie anymore.  And thirdly, you are afraid that we will get close and that you will hurt me.  Fourthly, you are indeed in love with me but want to be absolutely sure and you do not want to cheapen it by just jumping into the sack with me.  I suppose there is a fifth one; that you are afraid of getting old while I do not seem to age and that I will leave you or that I won’t and will suffer even more by staying out of pity and duty as you grow ever more feeble.”
 
“Now, I am not saying that any of these reasons is the correct one.  It could be some combination or an entirely different one.  I hope that you do tell me your reasons so that we can discuss them and see if they are valid.  I am ready to listen whenever you want to talk about it.”
 
She lets Al take her hand so that she can feel one of his tats when the porters knock on the door with their food.  Alyce smiles at Al and rises to go unlock the door and stands aside but in full view as the three men place the trays on the table and find several reasons to remain in the cabin for as long as possible while trying to get a good luck at the eccentric Keeb who seems to always be naked in her cabin.  This time, Alyce manages to brush her left nipple against the bare hand of one of the porters as she signs the chit for the meal.  She smiles as the man gasps in pleasure and thanks her repeatedly.  She can hear them talking about the experience as they walk down the corridor to the dining car.  "Bloody hell, did you really get a feel of her tit?"

"Damn right I did.  You think she would let us fondle her a bit next time."

"Probably.  You know how some of these rich women are.  But right there in the cabin in front of her boyfriend?  Now that is some serious strange drek  Not saying I didn't enjoy it, but seriously strange."
 
Finally turning back, Alyce walks over to Al and holds out a hand.  “Let me feel the ink, Al, then we can get to our meal and the trid.”

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

"Well, alrighty then, but we gotta make 'er snappy - nothin' worse'n cold fries an' rings."

He sat next to her on the bed and put her hand to his left arm. There, stretching down from his shoulder nearly to his elbow, was a list of ten names.

Annika
Sally Mae
Frankie
Portia
CHASTITY
Liesel
بسمة
إبتهاج
Akshika
黛玉

Except that each of the names, including the last, had a neat black X inked across it - each was still legible, but clearly crossed off the list.

"Some fellers wear rings, well, I always had this. Bad comparison o' course cuz I ain't never been hitched - reckon suicide's a mortal sin, after all - but if there's a name not crossed out, then I's spoken fer, an' if the last one's got an X, then ol' Al's a free agent. Lot a fellers, they git a tat o' some girl, inevitably regret it, then do some half-assed fix, turn it into a dragon or some shit. New one lady, she had a guy's name on her tit, so it'd show, right. Then had another name worked over that one. Then another. Pretty soon silly woman had nothin' but a mottled black blob on an otherwise perfectly good mammary. Nah, reckoned I'd go about such things in a more orderly fashion. Plus, gives me somethin' ta remember 'em by. Point is, yes, toots, I been with women, before, an' no, they's no one now. Hell, only one on the list I got any idea still livin' or not. So can we watch yer Austen chip now? Gittin' hungry."

[Mercy Merchant]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

Alyce happily sits down and begins to eat her salad, which was all she had wanted.  Except for the three packages of Jammie Dodgers.  After eating, she moves a second chair over so that she can sit next to Al for the movie.  She wraps an arm through one of his and leans against him a bit.  She turns her drone feeds off and just listens to the timeless dialogue, imagining the screen action and putting Al's face and body in for the hero, Lord Darcy.  Her lips move as she recites every word from memory.

She sighs deeply when the movie is over and wipes at a couple of tears on her cheek.  "Greatest story ever written and this is the finest screen adaptation ever made."

Sitting up, she turns to face Al.  "So, am I your girl, Al?  Would you like to add my name to your arm?"

[adamu]

Thursday, July 31st, 2076

"Heh. Fact is, 'bout a year ago, back in Seattle, I actually did. Or thought I had. 'Cept it din't turn out that way. Wild story sometime. Fer now reckon ol' Al's plumb tuckered out. Lord o' lightin', what a joyride of a day this's been, hey?"

He got up and went to his door.

"'Night darlin'."

And after he'd stripped and gotten into his bed, the movement of the train rocking his insomnia away, he realized with incredible chagrin why she'd had to be pressed to show him her favorite thing to watch...it was just so damned easy to forget she was blind...he smiled at the thought that she'd never said a word to set him straight...