[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Alyce pauses in her eating and softly says, as if more to herself than anyone else, “Al, I will need you for the rest of my life.”  She is not certain if he has heard her and does not expect a response.  She sighs a little than talks louder.  “I can make use of an off day.  I can catch up on some reading or maybe watch some trid.  What about you, Grace?”

Grace nods.  “A day off sounds good.  Al, you can practice your card tricks on me if you like.”

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

"Li'l darlin', if'n I could practice 'em on ya, then it wouldn't hardly be practice no more, now would it. That bein' said, mi casa su casa. Could always try tyin' me up. Either way, an at-home day's soundin' better the more I think on it. Nice little stay-cation in the middle o' the vay-cation.  Y'all finish yer grub, reckon I'm gon' go git started. Worlds ta conquer."

Back in his compartment, Al contemplated the wonderland of possibilities before him. He had his cards, his cuffs, his Tales chips, his cigarettes. Or, if feeling diligent, he could call up one of Sensei Ryder's tutorials on the lavish entertainment system. So many choices. He needed to lie down to consider them all. And within moments he was asleep.

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Alyce and Grace finish their lunch at a leisurely pace then go down to their compartment to check on Al and see what he wants to do.  Alyce stops Grace from calling out and tells her that Al is sleeping.  Grace gives her one of those how-in-hell-do-you-know-that looks but remains quiet as they go to the connecting door and find that Al is, indeed, asleep.  Grace shakes her head and looks at Alyce again, perhaps starting to believe some of the things Al has been saying about this woman.  After a whispered consultation, Grace lies down on the bed in their cabin to take a lazy nap and Alyce strips her clothes off and takes her book into Al’s cabin, where she sits and reads silently from her book as she listens to her companions sleep the afternoon away.

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Al woke before he opened his eyes. It was mid-afternoon. He heard the soft sound he'd come to know as fingers rapidly tracing Braille, the occasional turning of a page. Without moving, he said, "So here's a riddle for ya. What's a cute girl with a mutant eidetic memory need a book for at all? Once ya done read 'er the first time, can't ya jist read 'er in yer head after that?"

[Mercy Merchant]

Monday, August 4th, 2076



Alyce chuckles softly and speaks so as not to waken Grace, who is sleeping soundly in the next cabin.  "Yes, Al, you are right. I have the book memorized and do not need to read the hard copy.  When I was a baby, my father had just taken a job at a small company that would later become EVO Corporation.  A short while after he was employed there the Russian State Security Service came to take me away to one of their re-education camps because I was UGE.  Because I was different from everyone else.  My father's boss found out about it somehow and brought three Vory gunmen with him and told the security men that he was going to take me and my parents with him and they decided he was not going to do that.  He and the Vory gunmen killed the state security guys and three local policemen that were with them and took me away.  This man was very important to me as I grew up; sort of like the uncle I never had, you know.  He was my guardian and my friend.  He stood with me as I grew up and was my counselor in practically everything I did. By that time he was very, very important in EVO and did not need to do that, but he did.  He was genuinely interested in me and he loved me, although he never said as much until he was dying.  He stood with me when I was in the hospital, rarely leaving my room and making sure that I received the very best implants available at the time.  He arranged for EVO and Vory security guards at the hospital and told the hospital administrator to go fuck himself when he complained.  My parents were buried long before I was finished with the million or so surgeries I needed to be put back together, but he took me to their graves so that I could say my own farewells.  He supported my request to be involved in tracking down the Yak assassins and I am sure that I would not have been allowed to go if he had not forced the corporate suits to give it a green light.  I could call him any time of the day or night and he would not mind talking to me."

Alyce's face is streaked with tears by now and she pauses to take a breath and control her emotions.  "He got sick when I was fifty, but he passed it off as nothing.  His daughter had to call me to tell me to come home, and be right quick about it if I wanted to see him.  I was on the first sup-orbital back to Vladivostok.  I didn't pack anything.  I came alone.  I had no visa to be back in Russia.  His daughter used her contacts at EVO and they made it all happen for me.  There was a car waiting at the aerdrome and I had an official escort to his home.  You should have seen the people there, Al.  One bomb could have destroyed three quarters of the heads of EVO and the Vory and they were all there for this one man, this one fragging man.  Someone had the word out and I was passed through all sorts of security without stopping.  But everything worked and I made it in to see him.  He was sitting up in his bed and joking with everyone there.  He had this book on the table near his bed.  He had it made for me for when I would go home, only I never went home until that day.  It is made of some sort of metal alloy so I can take it anywhere.  It is nearly indestructible, or at least it has come through everything I was ever in.  It is very light so does not add to my weight much.  But I would not care if it was plastic, Al, or tissue paper.  This book is him. My friend, my surrogate father, my guide, and my protector.  I don't need it to know the story.  I could recite it by rote and get every word and every inflection right.  And I do not need it to remember him.  But when I touch the characters, it is him talking to me, and that is something special"

She sits in the chair, silent for a moment.  "And that is the answer to that riddle, Al."

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Al sat up on the bed. "Fair enough," he said with a shrug. He had a few sentimental items of his own, so he could understand where she was coming from.

With Grace sleeping in the next room and nothing else to do, She nudged him to resume Her plan. "So what's it look like?" he asked Alyce.

She answered a questioning glance.

"I mean," he continued, "Ever' so often when yer gender-compelled need fer jibber-jabber overwhelms yer good sense, ya been known ta ask me what I want outta all this, or from you, or whatever. Well, ta be honest toots, that is percisely the question ol' Al's been hankerin' ta put ta you. Now, I know that ya think ya been all open like a book with all that, layin' yer heart out with a lotta words 'bout ferever an' true love an' soul mates an' whatnot. An' I apperciate yer bein' open 'bout how ya feel. But feelin's an' three nuyen, toots, that'll buy ya a pack o' smokes an' precious little else. Practical application, woman, not a bunch o' cotton candy clouds. This whole togetherness, right fer each other-ness, how exactly does that play out inna real world o' gravity an' mass an' energy an' time? Cuz honestly, toots, I been turnin' it over in my mind, an' I can't think o' what'd be diff'rent ta how things is right now. Well, aside from knockin' boots - I'll concede I been a source o' some understandable frustration on that front. Aside from that, though, yer gon' hafta tell me jist what it is ya want, or what ya envision. I mean, I know given yer druthers ya wouldn't be innerested in no kind o' monogamy nor emotional exclusivity. An' o' course any sort o' cohabitation's completely out o' the question. So is it some sort o' label yer after? Or do we gotta start makin' appearances at each other's social events - yup, that'd be a pretty one-sided deal. Family introductions or other forms o' self-torture?"

He shook his head in bewilderment. "Or would jist addin' in the sex fix things? I know that's damned important for ya. Is that really all yer after? Cuz I can't really picture what else might even be diff'rent."

He held up a hand, staving off her answer a moment longer. He'd come this far, and though it was not in his character to reveal so much of his...private thinking...he was a man, and a man led from the front, not by hiding behind a woman's petticoats. "Ol' Al ain't afeared ta paint a little picture o' my own. Listen. Assumin'...jist assumin'...things was ta move forward after this here trip...an' I'm jist talkin' hypertheticals here...lots in my mind still ta work out...but in terms o' how things might be assumin' we wanted ta go deeper after this here train wreck..er, trek...meant ta say train trek...well, assumin' that, then - an' I don't wanna scare ya off or nothin' - but layin' things onna line here...reckon I'd like ta see a lot of ya. An' by that I mean see a whole lot of ya...I'm talkin', well, jist say if it'd be too much...I'd surely understand if'n ya thought it were too much...but I could see us meetin' up twice, maybe even three times a month."

There - he'd said it now. No going back. Hell, he'd come this far, he might as well lay the next one on her, outrageously intimate though it was..."In fact, assumin' we moved things forward, jury's still out, jury's still out, mind, but assumin' that, an' assumin' things kept goin' well, then reckon I could see ya, well, after three, four years or so, reckon I could see ya comin' by my place once in a while."

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Alyce nods at Al, thankful that he has not said anything about her tears this time.

As she listens to him continue, it feels like a large part of her heart just stops beating.  She shivers at how cold it feels to almost not be alive any more.  She had feared some of this and had thought that she was prepared to hear it.  She wasn’t. Her immediate reaction is to almost pass out, but she struggles through the rest of what he has to say and tries to get a grip on her emotions.  At the end, she is calm.  He has, in fact, given his version of the future and has asked her for hers.  He deserves to know what she wants.

Alyce takes a deep breath and starts talking, her voice level and calm because there are no tears left to cry over this.  “Fair question, Al.  Thank you for being honest with me.  You have asked for what I want, without the trappings of my feminine emotions and so I will tell you what I had wanted out of this.  Put most simply it was your name.  I wanted to marry you, to live with you, to have your children.  I wanted to travel wherever you wanted to go and have a home somewhere that we could go back to between whatever it was we were doing.  Where the home is or what it looks like is immaterial, just that it be our home.  I had hoped that you would want to take me to see your family and be proud to introduce me as the woman you loved, to show me off and make me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world and a real catch.  Some part of me wanted to introduce you to my sharing lifestyle, but I would have been more than willing to give that part of my life up to be with you.  I was hoping that we would be partners in life, talking about dreams and plans and working together to get there.  I wanted to bear your children so that you could see what a brilliant father you would be.  Mostly, I just wanted to hold you in my arms every night and wake up with you every morning so that I could feel your love for me and I could kiss you and tell you in words that cannot be misunderstood that I loved you with all my heart and soul.  Every day, Al.  Every day.  That is what I wanted.”

Another deep breath.  “Now, it seems that what I want and what you want are not the same thing and are actually pretty far apart.  If there is no compromise in you and no desire to work towards my wants, then we have an issue.  If you are willing to talk about accepting my love for what it is and moving onward, then there may still be hope for us as a couple.  Whatever we decide, you can be sure of two things that will never change in this life.  The first is that I will never stop loving you, ever, as what I feel for you can withstand anything and remain strong.  The second thing is that I will always be your friend.  I will always be there for you and will try to have your back whenever you might need that.”

Alyce removes her dark glasses and turns her glossy white eyes to him.  “Now that we have both put our wants out on the table, so to speak, where do we go from here?  If you decide that my friendship is all you want, I will stop bothering you about sex or relationships and just be your friend.  If you want to love me then tell me so and let’s work together on that.”

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

For a moment Al forgot even to smoke, much less breathe. He had expected her to be overjoyed at the prospect of the unprecedented intimacy he'd posited, but instead she'd countered with an illustration quite beyond his wildest imaginings. The surprise, however, was overwhelmed by the soulstopping allure of it. With each word she spoke, sitting nude in the chair beside his bed, with each picture her words had painted in his heart, he had been drawn to her as never before. What she described screamed to his center as home, happiness, hallowed ground. Every detail she uttered meshed with the others to form a perfect whole - a vision of bliss it was all he could do to refuse. He suddenly wanted her - and this life with her she described - more than he had ever desired anything. Ever. More than air.

But not more than himself.

Even if he had a right to such happiness - which he did not (and now there'd be no need even to have that discussion with her - yes, She was wise) - even if he had the right to such happiness, it would cost him who he was. It would be someone else's happiness. Some other guy's. Because he wouldn't be there anymore.

So although he could see in his mind's eye reaching for her, taking her mouth, her breasts, her sex in an embrace that promised eternity, he did not move. More even than before, it was now impossible.

He mentally slapped himself. It was all crystal, no need to think further. He could bemoan his fate later. Right now he had to do what he could for her, and keep her somewhere in his life.

"Listen. I love you too. From the moment I met ya, I ain't been with no other. Thought about ya ever' day fer the past eight years. These days, think on ya ever' minute. Love ya as a friend. Love ya as a womern. Want between yer legs an' in yer arms like only a man in love can. An' ta me, that's love. Real damned McCoy. But maybe that ain't what love means ta you. Cuz all o' that what ya described...that ain't never gon' be me. Not ever. If in your mind that means ol' Al don't love ya, then that's your mind ta make up. So if it's all or nothin' with you, then so be it. But fer me see, it's jist as impossible that - how'd ya put it? - that friendship could be all I want. But maybe if I ain't gon' go the whole route, then that's all I'm good for. Hell, reckon I admire ya, with yer all-or-nothin' attitude. S'pose anythin' less is jist playin', an' ya rate better'n that. But I'll hold ya ta that always bein' my friend part."

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Alyce carefully analyses what Al has said to her and has to admit that it rings of truth.  That every bit of it is true does nothing to dispel the immense pain and sadness she feels  It is like she is in some horrible B-trid where two lovers are kept apart by their own errors and misadventures.  She fights back the tears and the urge to just leave the room, knowing that neither of those responses would help much right now.  Some part of her realizes that Grace is awake in the other compartment and is listening while trying to stay quiet enough to not interrupt, but Alyce does not really care who overhears her right now.  She takes several breaths and calms herself enough to speak.
 
“Al, my love for you is not all or nothing, it is everything.  You asked me to tell you what I want from this and I told you.  I want you.  I want you to be happy.  I want you to be happy every day of the rest of your life, even at the expense of my own happiness, because you are more important to me than I am.  My take on what you said is that seeing me two or three times a month outside of whatever work we do together is enough for you to be happy and I can accept that version if that will really make you happy.  And just to clarify something, you said you want between my legs and in my arms, but will you actually allow yourself to make love to me or is that never going to happen, either?”

By this time, Alyce is almost certain that this part of her life is ended, but she gives it one more try.  “Listen, Al, you asked me to be honest with you and you have been pretty honest with me in telling me that my dreams of us are never going to happen.  Not ever.  I would like to ask for one more bit of honesty from you, if I may.  Can you tell me why not?  Tell me why you can never live in the picture as my husband and raising our kids together.  Is it me?  Have I ruined everything with my immoral ways, my careless disregard for sex with other people or my past as a whore?  My being blind or an Elf?  Or is it something else?  You have not talked about it, but it must be very important to you.  Can you be honest enough to tell me why we cannot be together?  I am a big girl and I am just about out of tears anyway, so you can be as brutal about it as you need to be.  I just want the truth.”

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Al didn't think much of the way Alyce framed him not wanting to yoke himself to another for all eternity, not wanting to dive into some sort of soulmate spirit meld as selfishness on his part. Or the way she was now offering to sacrifice herself for his happiness, as if looking down and granting him his freedom from her made her solely responsible for any future happiness he might enjoy, and at the conspicuous cost of her own endless sorrow. None of that sort of thinking was healthy for her. But he figured she was into it, so why take it away from her. Besides, if she was hurting half as much right now as he was all the time, then she was hurting pretty bad, and he didn't want to make that any worse than she wanted it to be.

"Well, that's a mouthful o' big questions all in a rush."

It was high time for a cigarette. He lit one for himself and left the pack and the Zippo on the table between them.

"Sex? Din't know that were still onna table here in the world o' wedlock-or-just-friends. But then you are Alyce Krait. No, wouldn't say never. But if the path ta carnal bliss were fraught with dire complexities afore, it's a fuckin' moon-shot inna frogstorm now."

He forced himself to keep looking at her as he spoke. Her words were still ringing in his ears and soul, her vision of what could be between them. And it still called to him like a siren song. Every second spent looking at her he felt weaker, closer to just smothering her in his embrace and promising himself to her forever. But dangerous as it was, he wouldn't let himself take the easier path of looking anywhere but into her ageless face. Besides, she'd actually straddled the hardest question, asking only the two easy ones that lay to either side of it. Still no need to talk about anything he didn't want to.

"The playin' house thing, woman, that ain't you. That were never inna picture from long afore we met. It ain't yer sex hippie ways. It ain't yer past whoredoms. Ain't yer blindness nor yer keeb defect. Ol' Al jist ain't never gittin' hitched nor no facsimile thereof. Plain an' simple an' 'nuff said."

[Mercy Merchant]

Monday, August 4th, 2076


Little sparks of life ignite on the ashes of what had been Alyce's heart and she picks up her head as she listens to Al.  When he is done, she stands up, keeping her face directly at him, and walks the few feet to the bed, where she sits down next to him.  Her bare thigh is against his clothed one, but she can feel the heat from him and he has to pick up the faint smell of her musky scent rising from her.  She puts a hand on Al's thigh but does not move it higher.  She continues to let him look at her dead eyes as she licks her lips.  "Oh, Al.  One of us is not communicating well, and it is probably me.  I seem to lose a lot of my sense when I am close to you.  I think that you are working under a great misunderstanding so I would like to clarify some things.  If I continue to confuse you, please let me know and I will try again, and I will keep trying until you understand exactly what I am saying and what I mean."

"Now, first of all, you are dodging the question and that is not fair.  You should be as honest as possible.  You say that the future that I want is not possible, but not for the reasons I had put to you.  In essence, it is not because of my sex hippie ways or my past whoredoms, nor my blindness or my Keeb defect.  In short it is not me at all.  That sort of leaves you, since there are only two of us in the room.  I heard you say that you are never getting hitched or any facsimile thereof, so I am assuming that simply living together without being married is also out.  OK.  I can manage that.  But then you say it is plain and simple and nuff said.  Well, Al, that is the part I do not agree with.  There have been plenty of times in history when most people have said something is impossible and would never happen, nuff said.  Yet someone tried hard and found a solution.  If everyone had believed things were impossible, we would not have airplanes or boats or trains.  We would not have cured cancer and most of the other medical plagues of the last couple of centuries.  Keebs are impossible, as are Halfers, Orks, and Trolls.  Magic is impossible and yet we know that is not true.  So, I ask you, what makes living with me so impossible?  There is always a chance that we could put our heads together and figure out a way to make the impossible possible.  Now, I can understand if you believe it to be impossible and I can understand you not wanting to talk about it, but let me say this about it and then I will drop the subject unless I have not made myself clear.  I want to help you.  I will wait and hope that you decide to ask me for help.  I will wait as long as it takes.  Knowing that you love me makes it easy to wait.  I will be sad if you die some day without ever telling me, but I will not bring this up again unless you do."

"Secondly, you have told me several times that you do not want me to change because then I might not be Alyce Krait.  I suppose that you also think that any changes to you would mean that Al Guthrie is no longer Al Guthrie.  I think that you would be right in both cases.  Neither of us would be the same as we were.  But I think that we would grow into something better, something combined.  That sort of change would only make us stronger, not destroy us.  You are already different from the man on that boat with the toxic monster and even more different from the boy who attacked a toxic creature with his bare hands to save his family.  You are the sum of your experiences and there is no way that you are the same man as you were even last week.  I believe that being together would be the greatest adventure of all time, but I will accept that you believe otherwise and will also not bring this up in conversation again unless you do or if you need further clarification on my point."

"My third point is that there has never been a wedlock-or-just-friends issue between us.  I have always looked at you as a friend first and foremost.  Wedlock without friendship is a recipe for disaster.  I will always be your friend, no matter what.  Let me repeat that, no matter what.  I would like very much to have the wedlock as well, but I also know that trying to force someone into marriage can easily backfire.  I just want you to know that I love you enough to want to be your wife.  I can understand that you have some reservations about that and will also not bring this topic up again.  You know my stand on the issue and I will be ready should you ever change your mind."

"So, I hope that I have been very clear on those three things.  Please ask me to be more clear if you have any questions.  Otherwise, you know my feelings on them.  Now, however, on to the fourth point.  Sex has never been off the table, Al.  No matter how much we agree or disagree about anything, I would never use sex as a weapon or withhold it to make a point.  I think that any complexities you see are completely in your mind.  What is really stopping you from letting me please you?  From feeling the warmth of my already wet and willing sex as you slip into me?  From feeling the exhilaration of letting your cum flood into me?  You said you wanted to be between my legs and have for a long time.  What is stopping you?"

Alyce's hand has not moved an inch from where she had put it when she sat down, but she knows that he can feel her desire in her accelerated breathing and the rise of her breasts that are so close that he would only need to move his hand a few inches to cup them.  She goes quiet and waits for him to speak or take her or move away from her. 

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Al was pretty sure he was the smartest guy in the world. And then he'd let that upscale doc in Seattle talk him into a small fortune in further noggin enhancements. But he was still scrambling to keep mental notes on all Alyce's questions.

And then the weight of her last couple of lines simply eclipsed all his cerebral scribblings.

There were times, thanks to the voodoo gods, when he could literally feel the trajectories of bullets winging their way towards him. They often whispered in his ear the moment before crisis struck. Now, with Alyce's last words, their shouting was threatening to overload his dampers.

Though physical death was off the table for Al, there were graver threats. And this one was the mother of them all...no pun intended.

Still, no need for panic. Like all the really bad things that could befall a man, this was entirely within his control. He just had to make the correct choice.

If only he always had.

For now, though, he simply spoke the truth. And the truth he spoke was simple. There was no need to complicate it with stuff that was no one's concern but his own. "Woman, I done told ya. It ain't about you. I ain't gittin' hitched ta no one. An' I ain't never presumed ta let anyone think diff'rent. Gon' live my own life my own way. Some folks, happy ta have around it. Some...well, some I'm happy ta have in it. But none are gon' be a part of it. It's all mine, an' I don't disagree nor care that maybe this combination, self-abnegation thing makes fer somethin' better. Like how I am, not innerested in better. I ain't a combination guy. I'm Alouicious Harlan Guthrie. One feller, indivisible. Complete package. No assembly required. Reckon I wanted ya close, want ya close, but warn't lookin' ta co-opt yer entire life. S'pose you bein' a woman, all that immersion in the other person stuff sounds grand. But partnerin' up, bindin' down, yokin' together, that ain't fer Al. Never was afore you. Never will be after. I ain't never done nothin' suggests or promises otherwise, an' neither shall I." 

He didn't like the way he sounded. He had no desire to be harsh. He did his best to soften the sandpaper snarl that was his voice. "it ain't a problem ta solve. It's what I am."

[Mercy Merchant]

Monday, August 4th, 2076


And just like that the flickering lights of hope were snuffed out.  Robin removes her hand from Al's thigh and stands up, facing him.  He would see no more tears because there were no more left inside her at this moment.  She reaches for her glasses and puts them on before talking softly.  "I asked for brutal honesty and you gave it to me, so thank you for that.  I did feel that there was a bit more brutal in those words than I had wanted, but maybe it takes that for me to hear and get the message."

She scoops up her book and holds it to her chest as if it were armor of some sort.  "I love you, Al, and more importantly, I am your friend.  I will always love you and I will always be your friend.  It appears that no matter your protestations that you love me and want to make love to me, you cannot bring yourself to actually make love to me.  It is almost as if you are afraid that once you do, your body and heart might betray your brain and tell me all the things I long to hear from you.  I am not you, Al, so maybe those fears are justified.  In any case, it is not my place to judge you or your intentions or needs."

Alyce returns to her seat at the table opposite Al and opens her book to continue reading, relaxing in the presence of the man she loves but who does not love her enough.

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Al was crushed. Thirty minutes earlier he'd been hopeful. Not optimistic. He'd still been unsure if a path to happiness existed. But he'd had hope. And now....

He admired Alyce immensely for sitting back down and resuming her reading. As if nothing had changed. Making good on her promise to stay friends without even a moment's break. He knew she was not feeling as casual as she acted. He knew he wasn't. All he wanted to do was take off. Go for a walk. A very, very long walk. But with her unbelievable gesture, to leave the compartment now would be a real betrayal.

Had She known this would happen? It had been Her that convinced him to ask the question, to make what had been vague and amorphous concrete. The better to consider the options, She'd said, to find the best way forward. Like She'd wanted him to find that path to happiness with Alyce. Sure, She'd admitted she didn't know what the answer would look like, but that now sounded like nothing but pre-emptive CYA. Whatever, he was stuck with Her, and he'd probably never know what She'd been up to.

His heart was breaking seeing Alyce so far away and The Elephant was like steel seeing her so close and he felt like an idiot just sitting there doing nothing. He adored her beyond rationality. The last week had been a taste - one he knew he wasn't allowed - of what a happy life might be. He'd been scheming and contemplating, sussing out this scheme and that plan to work through his shit and be with her. He'd wanted to stay her closest friend and so much more. He'd wanted to be her boyfriend. Her lover. He'd thought that was a lot - hell, it had been all he'd even thought of - dreamt of - being able to offer.

And now he saw that - to her thinking, anyway - it was woefully inadequate. Wholly unacceptable, in fact. Despite his protestations, for her if the white fucking picket fence was off the table then all of it was. Friendship, sure. He appreciated that immensely. And apparently sex would always be on offer - but that was who she was - no particular distinction there. Neither would be enough for him, though. And what he had to offer would never be enough for her.

Whatever. Hopeful had equalled foolish. He'd known it was a long shot, and his disappointment that the charade hadn't lasted longer was just him wishing he'd kept lying to himself. Nuts to that.

He laid back down on the bed, stretched his legs, and flipped on the trid.

[adamu]

Monday, August 4th, 2076

Alyce sighs and puts her book down again.  She can sense the frustration in the air.  She knows that she is in immense pain and that Al must also be suffering.  She whispers to herself, “Damn and bloody hell.”  With ridiculous ease, Alyce finds the various mechanisms in the room and locks the door leading to the hallway and connects to the electronic hinges on the door connecting the two compartments, closing and locking that as well, the audible clicks certainly heard by Al.  Next, she accesses and shuts off the trid player.  Standing, she removes her glasses again and walks back to the bed, taking the now useless trid remote from Al’s hand and tossing it onto the table before sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning over on top of his chest.  She cannot see into his eyes, but she knows her own heart and is now going on instinct alone.  Without saying a word she bends over to lightly kiss his lips, sending her tongue to taste him, and shivering at the feelings this brings to her.  Sitting back up, she uses one hand to begin raising his  T-shirt while the other caresses the elephant in his trousers.  As she bends back over his face, she whispers to him.  “I love you Al.  Make love to me.  Don’t just fuck me, make love to me.  I want you very badly but I need you even more.”

After that, it is his call.  Her touch on his iron rod is feather light through his pants, but he can feel it nevertheless.  Her other hand continues to slowly raise his shirt until she can feel Al's bare chest pressing up against her own.  The feel of his skin against her breasts immediately brings her nipples to a rock hard condition.  She does not stop unless and until he makes her and she hopes that he will not stop her.