Clearly we have different experiences with both games, as SR can be about slaughter if you want it to and D&D can be about the opposite. But as long as you're having fun, I don't mind you playing differently. 
The nice thing is that the experience in SR is given out in a more open way for things the PCs do while in D&D experience is allocated neatly based on challenges (some of those being RP challenges, others being combat). Honestly, both games have extensive combat system rules while most RP is still based on a single roll, which are rather dry from a rules context.
There are games that are simpler in all their actions and everything requires a single dice roll like
Cold City or systems with elaborate social rules such as
Burning Wheel's Duel of Wits system; both of these options offer a more well rounded approach by offering social and combat rules.
You can run D&D and Shadowrun similarly, but SR lends itself more to gritty, noiresque styles (being more lethal and all), while D&D is much better as a heroic game where single powerful warriors hold off entire legions of orcs. The basic idea of going into a dungeon/corp facility full of goons and traps are the bread and butter for both games.
