[nojosecool]

I think this hardcore attitude about showing up to every session may be one of the leading contributing factors to the decline of roleplaying as a hobby.  How can newer players get into a game once it transcends being simply a game and becomes a hard commitment?  Guys, it's a game, and we're talking about it like it's a budget meeting or something.  We're all grown-ups and things come up.  I've missed gaming sessions just because I was too tired to play, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.  No actual negative consequences will result from me missing a game.  The game will be different that night, but that's it.

That being said, I've never been a habitual absentee from gaming, and I usually motion to drop habitual absentees from my gaming groups.  There's a line between "life happens" and "I'll show up for about half the games if I feel like it."  Sometimes, though, life happens at the last second.

Here's the way I do it.  If someone doesn't show up to a session that all have already committed to, we have an understanding that their character will be played by another player.  The receive no karma for the run, their characters cannot use edge for any reason in their absence (just started this one, but it hasn't come up yet), and if they die they die.  That's incentive enough.  We don't need to concoct an appropriate punishment, rationalize a PC's absence in mid-run, fill a role left vacant by a missing player, etc.  The best part is that the game goes on as scheduled, and the negative effects on the other players are minimized.  Isn't that the whole idea?  This solution works to solve the problem created by the absent player rather than to seek retribution for the problem that was created (for deterrent purposes or otherwise).  Plus, there is a deterrent effect to not controlling your own character (especially if edge is out).  It's not like they're skipping out on babysitting your kids or something.  They just didn't come to game night.  Now sure, if it's a regular thing, then the PC will not be joining the next run and you can start looking for a new player.

I don't think we can talk about respecting schedules if we are going to demand explanations for absences, and impose punishments if said explanations are found to be inadequate.  Tell them when the game is, let them know that if they don't show up their character is in the same danger with no chance for a karma reward, and play the game.

[Onion Man]

+1 nojose

Denver Doc: I would almost certainly drop out of a game you ran.  As soon as you start talking about tweaking game mechanics to punish players for not attending a game (something most of us do to roll some dice while we have some laughs with friends), you're not talking about a cooperative exercise anymore, you've made it GM v. PCs and announced that you'll change the rules if you feel like it.  Bad form.

Note: I ahve NEVER dropped out of a gaming group before.  Not even the group nojose and I were in for RIFTS where the GM was seriously and specifically killing my characters off, deus ex machina, to entertain his girlfriend who didn't like me.

[Cass100199]

to entertain his girlfriend who didn't like me

Not me. There would have been some very hurt feelings before that was over.

Gotta agree with the last two. This is supposed to be fun. When it starts altering your RL attitudes, it's time to put it away for a little while. I'll be honest, you start hounding me with emails, I'll answer once to make sure we're on the same page, then you won't get another response from me. And If I'm really ticked, I may be late just to be an ***hole.

[nojosecool]

Note: I ahve NEVER dropped out of a gaming group before.  Not even the group nojose and I were in for RIFTS where the GM was seriously and specifically killing my characters off, deus ex machina, to entertain his girlfriend who didn't like me.

Yeah, but in spite of the orks that switched from ICBM's to waterguns the moment you changed into a vampire (yes, that's intercontinental ballistic missiles), and the bug that crawled into another character's ear and ate your brain because you listened at a door, you got the last laugh.

You should post your duffel-bag-of-grenades story on these boards somewhere (Gamemaster's lounge?).  This story shows that no matter what the GM thinks, he does NOT hold all the cards. 

[FastJack]

I've always questioned why (non-gamer) friends and family will sit there and not question you not being available on Saturdays if you're in a softball league, knitting club, etc.; but the moment you say you game on Saturdays, everybody expects you to skip the game for their plans.

[Neurosis]

I think this hardcore attitude about showing up to every session may be one of the leading contributing factors to the decline of roleplaying as a hobby.  How can newer players get into a game once it transcends being simply a game and becomes a hard commitment?  Guys, it's a game, and we're talking about it like it's a budget meeting or something.  We're all grown-ups and things come up.  I've missed gaming sessions just because I was too tired to play, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.  No actual negative consequences will result from me missing a game.  The game will be different that night, but that's it.

That being said, I've never been a habitual absentee from gaming, and I usually motion to drop habitual absentees from my gaming groups.  There's a line between "life happens" and "I'll show up for about half the games if I feel like it."  Sometimes, though, life happens at the last second.

Here's the way I do it.  If someone doesn't show up to a session that all have already committed to, we have an understanding that their character will be played by another player.  The receive no karma for the run, their characters cannot use edge for any reason in their absence (just started this one, but it hasn't come up yet), and if they die they die.  That's incentive enough.  We don't need to concoct an appropriate punishment, rationalize a PC's absence in mid-run, fill a role left vacant by a missing player, etc.  The best part is that the game goes on as scheduled, and the negative effects on the other players are minimized.  Isn't that the whole idea?  This solution works to solve the problem created by the absent player rather than to seek retribution for the problem that was created (for deterrent purposes or otherwise).  Plus, there is a deterrent effect to not controlling your own character (especially if edge is out).  It's not like they're skipping out on babysitting your kids or something.  They just didn't come to game night.  Now sure, if it's a regular thing, then the PC will not be joining the next run and you can start looking for a new player.

I don't think we can talk about respecting schedules if we are going to demand explanations for absences, and impose punishments if said explanations are found to be inadequate.  Tell them when the game is, let them know that if they don't show up their character is in the same danger with no chance for a karma reward, and play the game.

I have literally never dropped anyone from one of my gaming groups because a) they are my friends in real life first and foremost and b) I doubt I could replace them. Because I pretty much only play with people I know and am comfortable with--I need to have something more in common with them than playing SR, but they also have to be someone I can talk into playing SR. Which is a very limited pool of people.

I mean, I'm a very atypical SR player. I have never played in an online game of any kind (PbP, IRC, Skype, Forum, PbEM, etc.) and I've barely done any convention play. SR has always been an activity I've done with at least reasonably close friends.

In any case, less than half of them show up to half of the games even half of the time. But I mean, it's not that they don't show up to games so much as we can't SCHEDULE games. No one will agree to a weekly or bi-weekly game day, so we have to schedule each and every session on a case by case basis which is really, really, really hard to do. Often even getting in touch with them is hard.

It sucks.

[Charybdis]

I've always questioned why (non-gamer) friends and family will sit there and not question you not being available on Saturdays if you're in a softball league, knitting club, etc.; but the moment you say you game on Saturdays, everybody expects you to skip the game for their plans.

This happens to me a lot, and gaming is only one night a week for me ATM.

In regards to OP question, we have a schedule running a month in advance. It's normally on a set day, but if there are public holidays or other plans we know of, then that's exactly what we move days around for.

It's been mentioned by others on this thread, but is worth repeating. Sounds like the group has commitment issues (how many of them are blokes? ) and in truth, most people can't be bothered behaving courteously (responding to messages, etc).
I've worked for some time in Project Management, and the issue you're reporting (people not responding if there's an issue, not getting back to you regarding proposed dates etc) are exactly what happen with the majority of people in business as well. It sucks when the same issues are inherent in our social circles, but peoples is peoples.... and most of them are inconsiderate and self-absorbed....

Note: If you can plan three months in advance, I highly recommend a Project Management career for you. Most people just can't wrap their head around the mindset, but it sounds like you've got it sorted

[Blond Goth Girl]

Project Management - I schedule many things and plan projects - I used to plan trade shows:)

Very true about how folks will not expect someone to change their plans if they say they're attending a sports event but gaming is a different story.  I simply try to schedule around the game. 

[John Shull]

Its pretty simple schedule for our group.  We game on our weekly gameday, Saturday as it is right now.  If you have a emergency, family issue, etc. you call and we will see you next week.  If we lose three players for a session we go to plan B and movie, video games, or something.  When you make having fun the rule #1 everything else seems to work itself out.  I have had people miss 3 games and I told them I was dropping them out til they could show regular but that is as far as I have ever had to think into it.  We have two buds stuck up in Michigan right now and they skype in on games, a married couple who are at the mercy of sitters who get better offers, a few working stiffs who are at the mercy of overtime gods, a great dad who is going to about a million softball games a summer, and my best friend who is a good deed doer of the first order and schedules around helping everyone he has ever met do everything but alchemy each weekend and we still find a way to show up and roll dice.

There was a couple of points brought up by some other posters I wanted to chime in on.  I don't think you should hit characters with penalties in game for something the players do outside the game.  I understand the logic of it and can relate.  GM is using his juice to run the game to straighten out a situation that affects his game.  I have never seen it work out well.  It takes time away from the good boys and girls gamers who are there so you can have a pissing contest with a friend who is having a bad night and is sharing it with the class.  Best thing to do is let them vent with a good ol fashion shoot em up.  Lets everyone clear their head and you can get on with it.  I like to make the game an escape and leave everything at the door.  The only exception I make to this is for those who bring snacks, music, art, etc used for the game.  That kind of good Karma may follow you around in game, as it should.  If anyone rolls in late I work their characters in, ie they get bonded out of the drunk tank, turn their comm on from visiting their moms house, or escape the death trap their enemy concocted for them this week.  The other players catch them up and life goes on.  I do want to say I understand getting frustrated with players.  I have not always acted in accordance with my better angels in dealing with someone who rolls in and wants to express exactly how big a jerk they could ever aspire to be.  But thats what the game is for to help them with a fun distraction with friends.   

[Denver Doc]

It is a game and I play and run to have fun.  But it is also a group event that relies on all or at least most of the members to show up.  One person cancels or doesn't show up and the rest of the group suffers for that.  These are people that have set aside time, made commitments and sacrifices to have this time slot available.  It isn't fair to the rest of us who are committing  to come together.

If it was a board game it wouldn't matter much.  If it was something that was easy to drop pieces in and out of the same.  But it isn't.  It is a team event and just like your favorite sports team the entire team is greatly effected because one of the players decided he wanted to go to <insert other event here>.  I view a game as a commitment just like I view playing on the soccer team, except it is rougher on the team because their isn't a bench to draw from. 

Some people are fine with hit and miss games that take place when they can.  Some people are OK with canceling regularly scheduled games because a person or persons are absent or busy.  I am just not that kind of person.  I want to play my game, I want it to run smoothly and I want to have fun.  If people can't show or games are regularly canceled that isn't fun for me.  I put a lot of time in as a GM and typically even as a player and I don't want my time to go to waste. 

My style isn't for everyone, but after decades of playing and running I have come to understand what I need to have the best possible time is a regular event where people are as committed as I am.  If someone simply can't do it, we can hang out other times and do other things together if we are friends but they need to find another game.  It isn't a big deal, they aren't banished from the friend circle we just don't roll dice together. 

I don't think minor penalties in game is too harsh to encourage players to attend.  I would rather doll out a known minor punishment then have my passive aggressive DM take it out on me in game anyway.  (Please note I am not trying to indicate any of you are like that, it is just something I have observed fairly regularly in my gaming experience).

In the end we all have to find games, players and GMs that suit our own personalities.  That, after all, is the true gamer struggle, finding people we look forward to spending our designated gaming time with.

[Neurosis]

It is a game and I play and run to have fun.  But it is also a group event that relies on all or at least most of the members to show up.  One person cancels or doesn't show up and the rest of the group suffers for that.  These are people that have set aside time, made commitments and sacrifices to have this time slot available.  It isn't fair to the rest of us who are committing  to come together.

This is even more true when there are only two or three PCs, which is sadly the most I've been able to muster at one time for almost my entire life. The games where we have 4 or even 5 characters are the ones that are few and far between.

In fact, two of my regular players are standing me up for Shadowrun right now as I'm making this post, haha.

[Onion Man]

I have the exact opposite problem.  I have only rarely been in a group with 3 or less players.  Most of the time I'm in groups that are turning people away.

[Neurosis]

rub it in why don't you : P

[Blond Goth Girl]

It used to be that recruiting was difficult but it now I've GM'ing to slightly over my limit (7).  All are very regular and give excellent notice if they are out.  Partly - I think its my style which may not be for everyone.  I'm very atypical as a GM from what folks tell me. 

Partly - when it comes to my intolerance of BS.  If someone just doesn't mesh or is flaky, I give one warning in a very straight-forward but polite manner and if the behavior continues one more time - GONE with no apologies.

Partly - because I'm reliable to the extreme. 

All that combines to get the folks that are awesome to stay because they won't need to tolerate BS.  That or its my cooking

[bigity]

See I mostly game with people who are already my friends anyway, so you have to deal with occasional BS just because people are people, and sometimes they have to deal with my BS for their part.

But I agree there is no reason to keep someone around who is just a disruption.