[PeterSmith]

Rather than dump my first character into Hero Labs, I decided to...recreate him based on the failings of my first. I'm working on the background, I'm leaning towards the son of a salaryman who was enamoured with the UCAS Marines. Oz (placeholder name) started training as a rigger, his first exposure to Black ICs showed that his brain just wasn't wired properly to defend himself. Rather than waste the time he put in by dropping out with a medical discharge Oz trained to be a member of an extraction team.

After finishing his tour Oz joined a local (Seattle) legitimate security company contracted with Ares to test facility security. Due to a bureaucratic SNAFU one of their tests wasn't reported to the on duty head of security at one of Ares research facilities. The incident escalated to a live-fire situtation, and a Water Spirit got loose. Trying to defend himself and his team, Oz tossed a grenade behind a set of hydrogen tanks. The explosion lit half of the lab on fire, the Spirit tried to use its form to drown Oz. Fortunately for him the fire spread so quickly that the Spirit departed. Unfortunately for him the assault left him psychally and physiologically scarred - contact with sea water is severely diabilating, and a magician noted that the Spirit left its version of a "kick me" on Oz.

That's where I'm at. Haven't really put much thought into how the Contacts tie into his life. So I hand it over for some groupthink. Questions, comments, concerns? If you have suggestions for changes, I do ask you that you explain the reasoning. As indicated above, I'm still a Shadowrun novice. These characters are learning experiences for me, I'd like to not repeat mistakes.

[UmaroVI]

I see no problems with your backstory, so I'm going to nitpick your character sheet.

You are paying a significant amount of points to be human. You could be an ork, save 10 bps, gain +1 body and low-light vision, and otherwise keep your stats the same. You could also be a troll and pay 10 points for +2 body and +1 strength, +1 reach, thermographic vision, and dermal deposits over what you have.

Willpower 2 is not a hot idea. 3 is the lowest I'd go - it's +1 Stun monitor box, and it's what you use to defend against a lot of powers.

You misspelled "Design" a few times in your skills.

Dodge, Gymnastics, and Unarmed aren't all needed. Unarmed+Gymnastics will do you just fine; I'd drop dodge.

Getting a rating 3 medkit is silly. Cough up 300Y more for rating 6.

I am not in general a fan of either the Firearms group or the Close Combat group. The reason is that both of them essentially load you up with redundant ways of rolling Agility + Skill to hurt someone, and while all of them have some advantages and disadvantages, you're better off being good at 1 close combat skill (I suggest Unarmed) and 1-2 ranged combat skills (not Longarms) than being mehhh at a lot of them. Pistols only, Pistols + Automatics, Automatics only, Pistols + Heavy Weapons are all sensible choices. Pistols are weak and easy to hide. Automatics are very flexible and above average at everything. Heavy Weapons has machine guns, grenade launchers and "sniper rifles," but isn't concealable.

I would seriously rethink both Cybereyes and Cyberears. You can wear contacts and earbuds that do the same thing for a lot less money and none of your soul.

Datajacks are just fluff in 4e; you can have one if you want but it doesn't really do anything.

Implanting your commlink is similarly largely a fluff thing on a non-hacker.

I will QQ about your choice of weapons, but I suggest you figure out what types of weapons you want to use first.

In general, this character strikes me as a bit unfocused. You are ehhh at a very wide variety of abilities, and I'm not sure what you want to be good at.

[UmaroVI]

I should note that if you really do want to be human, then you really want a 6 edge; that's the big draw of being a human rather than a meta.

[baronspam]

Shadowrun in general, and build point characters in particular, is a game of specialists.  Decide what you are good at, and make it more of a priority to be better at those particular things.

You do have a good init. and three passes.  Excellent for a character focused on physical combat.  You dodge fairly well, but not exceptionally well.  My advice is to focus on your gymnastic skill for dodge, drop regular dodge, and get a few levels of a bioware called Synthacardium.  It bonuses your athletic skills, including gymnastics.

Your agility can use some love.  Muscle Toner is a good option.

You have alot of skill groups.  At first glance skill groups look like a great bargain, but they eat up build points fast.  They are only a bargain if you really want at least three of the skills listed in the group.  I would suggest reviewing your skill groups and asking yourself if you would have taken everything included if they had not come as a package.  You might be able to save some points there, and then either raise your primary skill to 6 or a couple of skills to 5.

Your character isn't bad, per say, and you have a wide skill base.  You can pick up just about any weapon in the game and use it.  But you can't really use it that well.  Sure, compaired to joe wage slave you use them great, but 8 in all firearms, thats 10 with a smartlink, is honestly kind of meh.  Thats about as well as a well trained police vetran.  Thats good compaired to the guy on the street, but its not elite.  If you are tying to be a black ops for hire firearms specialist you want to be elite.  This goes back to my first point.  Its really better to be able to use a few types of weapons really, really well than to use every gun and melee weapon in the game sort of well.  Some more agility would help across the board, but in general I think you need to stop trying to be good at everything and focus a bit more.

P.S.  I agree with just about everything that UmaroVI said.

[DWC]

Somehow, average physical toughness and below average mental toughness don't seem right for someone claiming to be a veteran of a primarily ground combat service arm.  Also, Firearms and Close Combat are both terrible skill groups.  I'd swap to a 4 in Automatics, a 3 in Pistols, and keep 1 dot in Longarms so you don't have to default on the rare occasion that you have to shoot someone with a breaching shotgun.

Also, 2 dice in the Close Combat group leaves you with a DP of 6 in Unarmed Combat which means any ganger in the sprawl is going to tear you a new asshole in a bar fight.  Instead, you can grab a 4 in Unarmed Combat, ignore Blades and Clubs, and wear Hardliner gloves everywhere.  Or just get Bone lacing.

Also, find a way to get a boost to your Agility. When the thing you're best at involves a DP of 10 before penalties, you're going to do a lot of missing. The alpha ware, while classy, is really a waste of cash for everything other than the wired reflexes. I'd downgrade them and spend the saved money on Muscle Toner 2, and a Reflex Recorder for Automatics.

I like having the Electronics group, but since you're already spread so thin, there's something to be said for taking just Computer and Hardware, leaving Data Searches to an Agent and going back to the shotgun to open maglocks.

Given the character's issues with the matrix, the alpha grace implanted com link seems even stranger.  Also, how does someone running without a sim module get their egg scrambled?

It's an interesting concept, it just feels like some tweaking would help the mechanics better fit the vision you've presented.

[Onion Man]

Welcome to the hobby.

These other guys have said just about everything I would, so I'll keep it brief.

Automatics is your best bang for the buck ranged combat skill, as it covers machine pistols, SMGs, and Assault Rifles all with one skill, and is best if backed up with skill in thrown or heavy weapons.

I lean toward clubs for a melee skill for pistol whips and butt strokes, but it's sort of potate-potato between clubs and unarmed when it all comes down to it, so go with flavor.

Numerically, there is very little reason to ever go with anything at less than the maximum rating you can get with your starting availability, so unless you've got some great role playing reason to have anything mediocre, go right to the top.  You can still play the mediocre medic with a rating 6 medkit.

Have fun, don't get caught, and if you do get caught lie like your life depends on it (it does).

[PeterSmith]

I took some of the advice here and updated the character. I'm sticking with straight-up human for simplicity sake, and I messed around with the gear/augments. Attributes total went up seven, took a slight hit to Initiative, and skills were obviously affected. There's a reported bug with Synthacardium, so the numbers will change a bit. Tightened up the skills, though I did stick with the Athletics group as I wanted all four skills. His early background will be adjusted to indicate that he was a very athletic kid growing up, and while he has issues with seawater he doesn't have them with treated water/freshwater.