[nojosecool]

All my veteran GM's out there...

What do you do to reign your players back into the game when the conversation wanders to elf on orc porn (and lingers there for a little too long)?

[Makki]

shout "role Perception"

[kirk]

start rolling dice. wait. roll again. wait. Roll again, chortle nastily, and jot down a note. roll Again, and ask a player what their perception is, again.

If they go on long enough, the ambush is perfectly executed.

[nojosecool]

+1 to you both for good solutions and good laughs

[CanRay]

Newspaper and spray bottle of water.

If that doesn't work, there's a metal bar in the newspaper and vinegar in the spray bottle.

[Blond Goth Girl]

Have them attacked via a surprise attack where the PCs get no initiative.  It works.

[Stahlseele]

Are they doing something important?
Start with appropriate consequences.
For example, have their COMPLETE discussion be LOUD and IN CHARACATER . .

Are they NOT doing something important?
Roll with it. It's your job as a GM to make the world react to them.
Have some random NPC chime in with some really nasty stories for example.

[Teknodragon]

Speaking more as a player, if things get sidelined during an important moment (like being shot at), if I'm up, I put out a suggestion, ask for counters... then count down if they're still distracted and tell the GM we're going with my plan. As a GM, I'd tell a distracted player they lose their action for not staying on the ball... then again, we have a limited time slot for gaming amidst various work schedules.

[Crash_00]

Newspaper and spray bottle of water.

If that doesn't work, there's a metal bar in the newspaper and vinegar in the spray bottle.

This guy uses the same tactics as me. Add in Taser and pepper spray for a third layer and you've got it made. Solid attention for every game from that point on.

Ok, so not really, but as a side note, never say "I haven't been tased before, I think it'd be cool" if you're going to get pissy about it. The pepper spray, well come on, he'd already had the taser experience, he knew better.

In all seriousness though, I have a five minute rule. If I've tried to get the groups attention back on track for five minutes, I'll skip to the next scene. If it's combat its a twelve second rule and I jump to the next character in line.

[CanRay]

I know a Chilean RPGer, so pepper spray won't work on him.  And I don't think Mace is legal in Canada.

[The Big Peat]

I take the speculation on metatype too far hereby inducing my players to focus on the game again double-time before i continue and give them a bad case of traumatising mental images.

This only works if you're less easily squicked than your players admittedly.

[kirk]

In seriousness, you need two things.

The easy thing is a clear and obvious signal that this needs to end, now. It could be a stock phrase. I knew a GM (not me) who had and used a 60 second hourglass for "wind it up". The signal doesn't matter as it's the easy thing.

The hard thing is enforcing it. When you use the rule, mean it. If they continue, game time passes. Bad guys move, bombs tick closer to exploding, things happen.

hmmm. Add a third, and possibly the hardest. Learn when and how to break. Sometimes all this is a clue that the group needs a break; maybe a short snack break, maybe a "see you next session" break, but a break. Sometimes it's just necessary, and forcing it anyway starts turning the game from fun to a chore.

[Walks Through Walls]

I don't have this problem too often. Though I did during the tournament at Gencon this year. Two of the players were going on about something out of character as I was trying to start the next scene. I just stopped and looked at the two of them (OK maybe glared is a better description) and held my gaze until they realized something had changed and the rest of the group yelled at them then continued.

I also find the perception roll trick works well, but Kirk is right sometimes it is a sign that the group needs a break for a minute.  My current game is being played in a gaming store so everyone so far seems to stay pretty focused because there is enough other distracting stuff going on they don't need to add more themselves. It is a new group so some of it may be the getting to know each other and be comfortable.

So the fact that you are having this problem in a way is a good sign in that it shows your group gets along and feels comfortable together.

Hope this helps

[nakano]

Honestly, I expect a bit of off track from my players.  Our games are as much social as play driven.  Cooking a dinner, catching up etc. 

That being said when it is go time I just simply wave my arms.  Corny I know but it works.  Its simple, straight forward and effective.  You know, the Hey!  Over here! gesture.

To be honest I find that going off track tends to be as much about the enviroment as anything else.  I am currently running two different groups.  The first, at a table is pretty focused by and large.  The second, in a living room is a little less focused, though thank god there is no TV in the room.  TV = DOOM!! in my experience. 

Now that is mostly cause I am always curious as to the score of the game, but hey thats me.

[Blond Goth Girl]

I'm all about focus.  To me game time is time to game.  I had to break from a group not long ago because it was anything but.  When I write a background, put forth a character sheet and lug all my gaming stuff for/to said game, I wanna game. To just chat, I don't want to put forth all the aforementioned effort. I'll meet them for coffee or something and put forth my $2 which I have done in the past with other gaming friends and still do.

As a GM, I put even more work into a game.  Before game, after and with a couple breaks we'll chat but I tell folks if you're not here to game, I don't need to waste my time putting forth so much effort.  We all get together aside from game for social stuff.