[JustADude]

If your friends quit you over game stuff or you can't talk to them about issue their causing they are not really your friends is my thought.

From the other perspective, if you're part of a long-term group (talking over a year of weekly sessions) and you suddenly get the boot for an issue involving the word "lately" (as in "Lately you've...") without any sort of warning first... well, then they're not your friends, no matter how you felt on the subject.

[WellsIDidIt]

If someone can't get over being booted from a game, it's their issue, not yours. I've had to boot people in the past. 90% of the time it's over them either having a wildly different playstyle (more powergamer than RPer in our high RP group), being rude to the host (if someone invites you to their house, you follow their rules, clean up after yourself, and try your damndest not to wake the neighbors/family), or griping constantly at other players for not doing things the right way (right of course being how they would do it).

Having 4-6 people at the table, I don't think putting up with Problem A because he's your friend, to the detriment of everyone else's fun, is really an option.

Some players get that, we still hang out, they find different groups to RP with, and everything is kosher. Other players take it as a great personal offense that not everyone finds time spent with them to be sheer godly awesomeness, and lash out when they realize they aren't wanted to play in the game.

I generally do not find the later ones to be that much of a loss. They'll eventually get over themselves.

[ArkangelWinter]

If your friends quit you over game stuff or you can't talk to them about issue their causing they are not really your friends is my thought.

From the other perspective, if you're part of a long-term group (talking over a year of weekly sessions) and you suddenly get the boot for an issue involving the word "lately" (as in "Lately you've...") without any sort of warning first... well, then they're not your friends, no matter how you felt on the subject.

Touche. Everyone needs a few warnings, unless violence or racial slurs are coming out of the holster.

[Decade Rider]

To be honest iv only done a few sessions IRL and most of my games are PbP..now i never had any trouble (nothing terrible anyways) online..But those few sessions i did IRL i had a very annoying playing..wich is one of my buddie but that said buddy had an oversized Ego but is terrible at making (aka technomancer with no hacking skill or an Assassin..that is a magician..but wants to kill like a gunadept for some reason..and forgets to buy B&E tools) wich each time he took a shot or the rules didnt go in his favor he starting whining and throw a tantrum. FInally i just gave up GMing at least until i find other people for it

[Wolfboy]

i swear, it was a group dicision, and whats worse is that not only did we kill his characters but after doing so in a horrible fashion, we kicked the player out of the group and told him never to return.

heres the story:

were running DOA/DNA and the new player, a friend of the GM's son has decided that he would like to join. So we help him build a character and get him going. The phrase "Absolute Stupidity" comes to mind with this kid, not to mention rude, inconsiderate, and completely lacking in sense.
he tries to bring Hackmaster into the game and we squash that mercilessly. he gets handed the job of baby sitting the team van which is our tech's baby. He allows himself to be distracted by a hooker and the van is blown up. we go on the mission and he just keeps hosing us left and right, so we narcojet him and strip him of all his gear and leave him in the lecture hall for the monsters

[Critias]

i swear, it was a group dicision, and whats worse is that not only did we kill his characters but after doing so in a horrible fashion, we kicked the player out of the group and told him never to return.

heres the story:

were running DOA/DNA and the new player, a friend of the GM's son has decided that he would like to join. So we help him build a character and get him going. The phrase "Absolute Stupidity" comes to mind with this kid, not to mention rude, inconsiderate, and completely lacking in sense.
he tries to bring Hackmaster into the game and we squash that mercilessly. he gets handed the job of baby sitting the team van which is our tech's baby. He allows himself to be distracted by a hooker and the van is blown up. we go on the mission and he just keeps hosing us left and right, so we narcojet him and strip him of all his gear and leave him in the lecture hall for the monsters

That's...pretty lame on your part, in my opinion, and barely really on-topic.  The rest of us are talking about OOC repercussions for OOC activities;  someone being disrespectful to their fellow players, making them uncomfortable, off-color humor that's not appreciated, etc, etc.  People acting in a totally inappropriate way and being asked to quit the game, as a social activity wherein they made other people unhappy.  It's not about in-game stuff, it's about out-of-game behavior.

You're talking about kicking a kid, and first-time shadowrun player, from a group because he let something silly happen in-character.  You mention a bunch of other stuff happened, but the sticking point for you seems to be the thing with the van; which sounds an awful lot like taking a make-believe van more seriously than a real-life kid who might have been turned off of gaming forever by being socially kicked out of a group over it.

[All4BigGuns]

i swear, it was a group dicision, and whats worse is that not only did we kill his characters but after doing so in a horrible fashion, we kicked the player out of the group and told him never to return.

heres the story:

were running DOA/DNA and the new player, a friend of the GM's son has decided that he would like to join. So we help him build a character and get him going. The phrase "Absolute Stupidity" comes to mind with this kid, not to mention rude, inconsiderate, and completely lacking in sense.
he tries to bring Hackmaster into the game and we squash that mercilessly. he gets handed the job of baby sitting the team van which is our tech's baby. He allows himself to be distracted by a hooker and the van is blown up. we go on the mission and he just keeps hosing us left and right, so we narcojet him and strip him of all his gear and leave him in the lecture hall for the monsters

That's...pretty lame on your part, in my opinion, and barely really on-topic.  The rest of us are talking about OOC repercussions for OOC activities;  someone being disrespectful to their fellow players, making them uncomfortable, off-color humor that's not appreciated, etc, etc.  People acting in a totally inappropriate way and being asked to quit the game, as a social activity wherein they made other people unhappy.  It's not about in-game stuff, it's about out-of-game behavior.

You're talking about kicking a kid, and first-time shadowrun player, from a group because he let something silly happen in-character.  You mention a bunch of other stuff happened, but the sticking point for you seems to be the thing with the van; which sounds an awful lot like taking a make-believe van more seriously than a real-life kid who might have been turned off of gaming forever by being socially kicked out of a group over it.

Pretty much my thoughts exactly, except adding in that it seems to me like there was more than a bit of "RP Elitism" going on there too. I got this impression by the "...tries to bring Hackmaster into the game and we squash that mercilessly" bit. I find it unlikely that he was trying to bring anything into the game but what he felt would be fun especially since I got the impression that he was a first timer to any gaming...

[Critias]

I mean, maybe there's a whole lot more to the situation than what we got -- but the impression I received from that post?  Yeah.  Not the sort of proud moment I'd be bragging about on the internet.

[Mara]

I mean, maybe there's a whole lot more to the situation than what we got -- but the impression I received from that post?  Yeah.  Not the sort of proud moment I'd be bragging about on the internet.

Yeah..I mean, the one guy we had that was in the "come on and grow a clue," we kept giving him chances for years..
We never actually kicked him out of the group, either. We just stopped saving him from his mistakes.

[Kot]

In my case it has to be a group decision. It happened once, or twice, but also we had a few cases where people just didn't fit in, and we didn't have to tell them that. As for both aforementioned cases, one player was being a dick to guys in the group, and couldn't refrain from hitting on the girls in a very uncivilized manner. He also boasted 20+ years of experience, but obviously the concept of player growth was lost to him - he never went beyond killing stuff and screwing NPC's. So after a few failed attempts of communication we gathered and made a decision... after like 15 minutes. I had to play the devil's advocate, but despite doing it properly, even if against my own judgement, the vote was unanimous.
The second case wasn't that easy. The girl who had become a real problem was a decent player, and a nice enough person. But something in RPG's ticked her the wrong way, and her characters were all backstabbing, scheming and plotting against the other player characters. Not all of them - only those who didn't follow her blindly. She managed to convince two of them that they were a team, and it kinda went downhill from there. So in the end I called for a split. I even went as far as finding a GM for the 'team' of hers, an acquaintance who loved that playstyle, and fancied himself a good Vampire GM. In short: we managed to find a nice pair of players for our team, and our problem ended up marrying her new GM after a while. I really hope they won't breed, as that will take a toll on my karma... =='


P.S. I am with Critas on that one - that was way more immature and rude than what the kid did. You could've given him the talk, and help him get over all that stupid crap he had in his head. Instead you've just deprived him of the chance to learn something.

[Mara]

P.S. I am with Critas on that one - that was way more immature and rude than what the kid did. You could've given him the talk, and help him get over all that stupid crap he had in his head. Instead you've just deprived him of the chance to learn something.

Always try and talk things through. ALWAYS try and talk things through. Frequently, there is some mis-understanding behind
what is going on. Frankly, I hope the day never comes when I have to actually tell someone they are not welcome in our
group anymore.

[lurkeroutthere]

Last time my group removed someone they confabbed while I was running late to game (the player in question wasn't there that night) and decided between her attendance and some other issues they didn't want her coming back. The person running our FB group removed her and i had to give the actual bad news, which I found kind of shitty as I was merely ambivalent about here. But such are the trials of wearing the GM's hat.

[Redmercury]

I never boot players, I make them want to leave. It usually leaves the rest of the group with a good flavor in their mouths.

[foolofsound]

I've only ever had two players leave on bad terms, and both left of their own accord. The first was an RP drama queen who kept trying to re-centralize the campaign around his personal cliche revenge story. His character was one of the least useful party members, and had a tendency to IC threaten to leave the party/attack another character if some other member didn't change his behavior. Eventually, a party member refused, then continued to push his buttons until he attacked, at which point the party killed him, all without my interaction whatsoever. I asked if he wanted to roll a new, less polarizing character. He told us that we were all playing the game wrong, and quit.
The second was a decent if uncreative player who decided to play a social character. The problem was, he was basically incapable of RPing interactions; he basically expected to just throw dice at NPCs, which I wasn't cool with, and penalized him for (with explanation). He got frustrated, and I explained that he could either TRY to RP interactions, take his character in a different direction, or roll a new character. He decided to throw a big nasty fit on our campaign wiki, then quit.

I would never kick out a player unless one or more players had a major problem with him, or he was seriously detracting from the game.

[Simagal]

I was in a campaign were one play would have his character wander off alone to be the center of attention. He would then be disruptive when the rest of the party was playing. One of the other players told him to knock it of or go home, he went home.