>>>>>[Speak of the Devil, and he shall post! All-Father, what a more incompetent crew of kidnappers I have never met, and I was grabbed five times in three days in some Eastern European country that I rescued myself out of every time, with my expensive hunting gear! My Afrikaans is far more than rusty, but I could understand the words "Room 21" perfectly fine. I was in room 12 on the VIP floor. Their accents were horrible, however, and I think what they wanted me to do was read out a confession on paper that they taped to the tank. Of course, if they're mistaking my pale hoop as some African Ambassador to Seattle... No, just looked it up, he is Caucasian. Just proof one should never assume.
Anyhow, these "Freedom Fighters" (Yeah fraggin' right!) grabbed the wrong tank and was wondering why the hell I couldn't understand them, and couldn't read some badly spelled letter to the people of who-gives-a-frag to release some... Names coming up now, oh holy son of a slitch! These guys make Lord Torgo look like a vegetarian elf lover! They lucked out to land in the one country with no extradition treaty to anywhere that DIDN'T want them dead! These guys are locked away and they MELTED the keys! What the hell is an "Eat On Sight" order?
Let this be a lesson folks, when you want something done, don't do it yourself. Hire professionals! I could find a dozen teams in almost any part of Africa that might have had leanings to whatever group these folks are with who would have done a far better job! I mean, I did it on a shoestring budget and no linguisofts in person when, well, never mind what happened. Couldn't understand half of what they said, but as good a throw-together team as I've ever assembled! I'm sure I got insulted behind my back more often than I was complimented, but my cred was good and the job was one they didn't mind, so that helps a lot.
Loki's own luck that some signal re-transmitter flew/drove by, I think it was a chipdealer's advertisement/distribution system, but I'm sure he didn't mind me sleazing through his security, otherwise he would have had some of note. Didn't know how much time/bandwidth I had, so I popped some old SOS code my Grandfather keeps for a rainy day and suggested that I do the same. Sent it everywhere except to him. (Hey, you think I leave dead bodies around, invite him to a few drinks and he'll tell you the fun he had in Bug City!). Anyhow, enjoying the ride in the back of the DocWagon truck, enjoying a Matrix connection that isn't monitored completely by DocWagon, and still in the Hel-Damned tank, but at least hooked up again. Good thing too, I really had to pee.
So, thanks for the overwatch, the call in that got a big damned heroes rescue, and so on. Powerline, right Smiley? OK, you're all guests of Lenny Johnson's (Lyndon B. Johnson, 36th President of the old USA). Unlimited tab, try not to wreck the bar too much, wish I could join you so we could wreck the bar nicely. Smiley, I'll pay you back that favor you pulled in with KE, somehow. Oh great, I'm getting too uppity for the paramed, here comes the sleepy... Oh yeah, nice stuff. Is good to have friends in low places.]<<<<<
-- Money Johnson (21:40:42/01-15-74)